Trace Cyrus Knocked Up Brenda Song

August 24th, 2011 // 117 Comments

Because I’m a 31-year-old man who doesn’t watch the Disney Channel (It’s mostly on in the background to lure children.), I have no idea who the hell Brenda Song is, so now she gets to make an awesome first impression by announcing Trace Cyrus stuck his penis in her without a condom on. Celebuzz reports:

The couple is expecting their first child together, Celebuzz can exclusively report.
The Social Network star and Miley Cyrus‘ brother have been quietly seeing each other for several months, but made their first appearance together on the red carpet at Nylon’s party in early May.
Trace was previously linked to Demi Lovato. It was rumored Brenda briefly dated Joe Jonas.

Look, I’m not trying to bash women here, but after reading this news and looking at these pictures, I gotta ask: What will you not do for money? Because I’m trying to compile a list and so far all I have is: “Stop wanting money.” I just want to know your feelings, girl. Don’t you love me?

Photo: Getty, WENN

superficial

  1. Aww, they waited “several” months before getting her knocked up. And they say true love doesn’t exist.

  2. Drew

    Neigh.

  3. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    For the amount of money these people are worth, you’d think they’d be able to find decent artists that use something other than flash art you find in Tattoo magazine.

  4. Cock Dr

    Another bizarre gene combo experiment.
    Good luck with that. I hope that stupid girl doesn’t have some idea she’s caught the gravy train. That Cyrus money is rapidly being spent on tattoos & corn dogs.

  5. TheSupFan

    so fucking weird! to be honest though i don’t think he can offer her much by way of money unless he has a monthly allowance miley gives him. brenda has a lot of disney backing in terms of her shows that she’s on, disney channel movies. merch, endorsements etc. plus she was in social network which is something. i feel like if she was trying to get someone for their money she could feasibly do it with a million richer choices.

  6. Eddie

    Ugh, what the fuck??

    It’s a sick fucking world we live in when a creepy looking tattooed hick like that, can get a pretty hot chick like her. I’d cry, if I had a heart.

  7. Ana

    Today I learned Miley Cyrus has a brother. I always assumed she was an only child.

    • Eddie

      They both have a little sister which looks like a little alien. I think her name is Noah, or something.

    • me

      yeah, that’s the only thing I got from this, and now the other question would be, “who is Brenda Song?”

  8. Jax

    IF the baby comes out covered in tattoos and not sparkles I will die. I heart London Tipton! SPARKLES!

    • Rachel

      SPARKLES!!!!!!!! idk why people are giving her crap. She has her own money. I’m guessing he was around a lot while filming and they got to know each other. What is so bad about that?

      • Zack Miller

        Nothing I’m just jealous! I think she’s the hottest thing to ever walk the planet! But i do have an unhealthy obsession with hot asian women.

  9. Kelce

    Teen Mom moving to nickelodeon in Fall!

  10. Julia

    The Superficial has had some weird stories on it, but…beastiality? Resulting in pregnancy? That’s really messed up.

  11. JN

    Who the fuck is Trace Cyrus???

  12. Racer X

    Trace? Seriously? I would cum inside her too.

  13. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    ktulu
    Commented on this photo:

    Grrroososssss now I can’t watch the Suite Life ever again

  14. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    twisted
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh man, he’s a douch.

  15. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Tara Ellis
    Commented on this photo:

    So a horse walks into a bar and says…..

  16. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Tara Ellis
    Commented on this photo:

    So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says…

  17. Dan

    “Because I’m trying to compile a list and so far all I have is: “Stop wanting money.” I just want to know your feelings, girl. Don’t you love me?”

    Add “Behave rationally.” I have never seen this. Ever.

  18. Joe Jonas

    Yes, I definitely dated her because I am really into chicks, and sex, with chicks, of course. Really, I am. No. REALLY! It’s almost as fun as shopping!

  19. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s as if Marilyn Manson & Tiger’ Woods best girl Nazi stripper “Bombshell” McGee did the nasty, and this is what came out 9 months later.

  20. I for one welcome our new Mongol overlord.

  21. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Shiggaboo
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Zane: No, you rock. When you gonna drop Magnum on us, buddy?
    Derek Zoolander: Not yet. You gotta tame the beast before you let it out of its cage.

  22. hoyage

    Is it just me or does he look like a total twat. To be fair it is the first time I have ever seen or heard of the guy.

  23. JPC

    “Look, I’m not trying to bash women here, but after reading this news and looking at these pictures, I gotta ask: What will you not do for money? ‘

    Unless Trace is getting a huge weekly allowance from his sister, or has a massive trust fund from daddy’s “Achy Breaky Heart” money, I highly doubt he has anywhere close to the amount of money Song has. She’s on a bunch of TV shows and movies, while he’s a shitty guitarist on a band whose name I can’t remember, and would have never heard of if not for your previous posts about this horseface.

    Which makes this story all the more depressing for us average joes. She isn’t fucking Mr. Ed for the money. She just has the worst taste in men in the history of the planet.

  24. bahlder

    Goddamn. If I had to know she had such low standards I could have hit that. Son of a bitch.

  25. me

    I will sleep much better tonight finding out Miley Cyrus has a brother, and Brenda Song is that girl from that Disney or Nickelodeon show on t.v….. you know, that one that she’s acts obnoxious and treats the adults with disrespect and screams all her lines…. I think she’s the Asian one…. that should narrow it down.

  26. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    dali
    Commented on this photo:

    a lady boy and and douche bag…. sounds like a new reality show.

  27. kimmykimkim

    You need to fix the headline, Fish. This is Kat Von D and Tila Tequila.

  28. dontkillthemessenger

    Either he has half of his sister’s money or a cock the size of Long Island. Or maybe he’s just a nice guy. Okay, the last one’s bullshit.

  29. Peachy

    If you want to see really hot Asian girls, all you have to do is go to the Santa Anita Fashion Plaza in Arcadia, CA, and they’re everywhere.

    • Zack Miller

      Sign me up! I love asian food! If you know what i mean…

      • Mark

        Nah Zack… You don’t want to date Asian girls. They smell of their native food all the time. Their pussies isn’t all that great and they don’t typically douche so it stinks down there pretty bad like rotten cabbage or something foul. Been there and Done that and Wouldn’t do it again if paid a million bucks. Dated 3 Asian girls and they do stink. Asian girls are complete cunts when they get angry. They pretty much just want money from us white guys. I’m over the Asian girl fever thing. I’ll date any other race except Asian girls.

  30. Donut

    This guy has way too many tattoos. I thought he was wearing a tattoo scarf, but no they are real. He must have a lot of money to afford all of those tatts… I guess that’s what she must have been thinking.

  31. kirby

    i think the uglier you are the more tattoos you need.

  32. Nik

    This was the onlydisney chick I actually had high hopes for… She didn’t seem like another lindsay or anything. What a shame.

    • susieq

      Agreed. Years ago she made a big fuss about not wanting to be seen in a negative light and being a positive role model. Of course, she’s an adult who can make her own decisions and she definitely has the means to support her future baby, but really? REALLY?

      -A disappointed Asian girl

    • Venom

      Really, the whole fucking Flo Rida thing for the last few years just flew right over your head?
      She is the one you had high hopes for?

  33. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Icelandic Les
    Commented on this photo:

    I had that haircut. It was too gay for me.

  34. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Ismoss
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this what your supposed to do if your sister and father are famous and you have zero markable talent?

  35. Cpm

    Geez, what an incestuous bunch over there at Disney..That being said, any girl who allowed this tattooed freak near her deserves whatever she gets.

  36. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    shabanana
    Commented on this photo:

    dude. tattoo’s don’t count as a shirt.

  37. wx

    Every girl from Disney becomes a gigantic whore.

    Even more odd is their taste is extremely degrading, even for normal people standards.

    How Disney even has a brand anymore is perplexing indeed.

  38. shaftzits

    wow another professional douchebag.

  39. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    Frank
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Billy Ray’s stock of high quality trailer park genes really shows well in his offspring…

  40. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    A. Theist
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude looks like he took it up the ass in prison, and liked it.

  41. Arzach

    So what I read between lines here is that Disney Channel has been an orgy of underage teenage sex where everybody have switched couples at least twice and that any nobody douchebag like this one can hook up with some of the hotties of the show.
    Damn, where was THIS Disney Channel when I was a teenager?

  42. Kate @ Suburban Sweetheart

    Dude, Brenda Song probably make much, MORE more than Trace Cyrus. She’s in EVERY SINGLE THING DISNEY & was also in “The Social Network.” His band has had approximately one hit. Why the hell is she with him?! I doubt it’s for his money. She doesn’t need it.

  43. Trace, as in just a trace of human DNA in that douchebag. The rest is horse.
    As an aside, if Trace and Sarah Jessica Parker were to have a child, I’d be placing a Win bet on it at the Kentucky Derby 3 years later.

  44. sc4play

    Another bastard child in Hollywood……hoodathunkit?

  45. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    holymoly
    Commented on this photo:

    trace has just learned two things. miley was no virgin and the baby ain’t his.

  46. forrest gump

    psssst: THIS IS JUST ONE PATHETIC TATTOOD ASSHOLE IN THE UNITED STATES………….

  47. ReelWorld

    This trace kid is one of the ugliest pieces of shit I’ve seen in ages…Never even knew cyrus the virus had a brother…they must keep him locked up in the woodshed and only let him out to get tats and bang underage asian whores…

  48. Trace Cyrus Brenda Song Pregnant
    ReelWorld
    Commented on this photo:

    Clinging to the bottom rung of the evolutionary ladder….

  49. Vice Magnet

    That dude is even uglier than Raven Symone after her weight loss. Good Lord he’s fugly. I take it she’s pegging him so she doesn’t have to look at that awful face.

  50. amy

    So, Miley has a full-moon face, and this guy has a half-moon face.

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