Trace Cyrus Knocked Up Brenda Song

Because I’m a 31-year-old man who doesn’t watch the Disney Channel (It’s mostly on in the background to lure children.), I have no idea who the hell Brenda Song is, so now she gets to make an awesome first impression by announcing Trace Cyrus stuck his penis in her without a condom on. Celebuzz reports:

The couple is expecting their first child together, Celebuzz can exclusively report.
The Social Network star and Miley Cyrus‘ brother have been quietly seeing each other for several months, but made their first appearance together on the red carpet at Nylon’s party in early May.
Trace was previously linked to Demi Lovato. It was rumored Brenda briefly dated Joe Jonas.

Look, I’m not trying to bash women here, but after reading this news and looking at these pictures, I gotta ask: What will you not do for money? Because I’m trying to compile a list and so far all I have is: “Stop wanting money.” I just want to know your feelings, girl. Don’t you love me?

Photo: Getty, WENN