BREAKING: Rachel Uchitel cancels Tiger Woods press conference

Rachel Uchitel has canceled today’s press conference where it was assumed she’d confirm an affair with Tiger Woods. RadarOnline reports Tiger’s reps have been in negotiation with Rachel all morning and have offered to pay for her silence:

Multiple sources told exclusively that Tiger’s people are desperate to keep Rachel from talking about Tiger and that they were willing to go a long, long way to keep her silent.
One source claimed that Rachel was negotiating a $1 million payoff by Tiger’s people to remain silent. When asked about this, Gloria Allred told, “no comment.”

What cracks me up is I guarantee Tiger Woods honestly believed these women wanted to have sex with him simply because he’s Tiger Woods and not at all for what just happened here. The minute his penis entered their vaginas he must as well have swiped his bank card. Then again, I’m assuming that didn’t happen pre-coitus. HA! I’m adorable.

Photos: Splash News