BREAKING: Rachel Uchitel cancels Tiger Woods press conference

December 3rd, 2009 // 61 Comments

Rachel Uchitel has canceled today’s press conference where it was assumed she’d confirm an affair with Tiger Woods. RadarOnline reports Tiger’s reps have been in negotiation with Rachel all morning and have offered to pay for her silence:

Multiple sources told RadarOnline.com exclusively that Tiger’s people are desperate to keep Rachel from talking about Tiger and that they were willing to go a long, long way to keep her silent.
One source claimed that Rachel was negotiating a $1 million payoff by Tiger’s people to remain silent. When asked about this, Gloria Allred told RadarOnline.com, “no comment.”

What cracks me up is I guarantee Tiger Woods honestly believed these women wanted to have sex with him simply because he’s Tiger Woods and not at all for what just happened here. The minute his penis entered their vaginas he must as well have swiped his bank card. Then again, I’m assuming that didn’t happen pre-coitus. HA! I’m adorable.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. someguyguy

    First. Maybe. Who cares.

    Over/under on how long until she appears in Hustler?

  2. Vladimir Lenin

    $1MM to tap that a few times? i don’t think so. I mean, it’s very nice – I’d probably go as high as $1,000 per trip – but $1MM?

    I’m glad that Tiger is a golf master, because he clearly has no idea about economics…

  3. keepdreaming

    @2 you would never in this physical time or space have the option of bidding.

    This woman spent more than that on her lips and hair, you think that she works in Vegas to attract the low rollers?

  4. Taz

    no pussy is worth a million dollars

  5. Jrz

    You know who I feel really sorry for…..The Salahi Douches who crashed the White House Party…..this was supposed to be their moment in the sun…..poor poor Salahi Douches.

  6. bill

    Is this the Tiger Wood’s Love Life website or something? Who gives a fuck. Talk about something else for fuck’s sake.

  7. stupidrich men

    as a matter of fact 3 of them are..to date..ask Tiger,

  8. Captain_Insano

    #6: Agreed.

  9. L

    Here is my question;

    If he is half black and half Asian, whats his junk like?
    Is he hung like a horse, unfortunatly small, or somewhere in between?
    Lets ask this chick

  10. havoc

    PLEASE GOD. MAKE THESE PEOPLE GO AWAY. GIVE US A NATURAL DISASTER OR A NICE JUICY MURDER TO TAKE THE HEADLINES AWAY FROM THESE USELESS FUCKING MEDIA WHORES. GIVE FISH THE STRENGTH TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WRITE ABOUT. AMEN..

    Whew….I feel better.

    .

  11. Whore Moan

    I hope somebody soon dies in this scandal. This still wouldn’t be worth the amount of attention it’s getting, but at least there would be something worth reporting.

  12. I too am getting sick of Tiger and his ‘slug-lipped’ mistresses. Unless we get a sex-tape of one of these ladies, in which case, bring ‘em on!
    Can we just get some more Emma Watson pics up? For god sakes, Fish, MORE EMMA!!!
    Can I get a what-what?

  13. Being honest

    Fish, relax with this story man.

  14. Tampon Collector

    I feel sorry for all women involved having to kiss Tiger’s ugly face. Good to be rich, even ugly dudes and old men can get laid.

  15. Cheetah Woods. At least he’s got great taste.

  16. fearsarewishes

    Dear Ms. Allred,

    “Blackmail is the crime of threatening to reveal embarrassing, disgraceful or damaging information about a person to the public, family, spouse or associates unless money is paid to purchase silence. It is a form of extortion. Because the information is usually substantially true, it is not revealing the information that is criminal, but demanding money to withhold it.”

    Bitch earned her pay today…

  17. hillary

    #6 Bill let’s talk about our lives..

    work
    go home
    watch tv
    sleep

    repeat

    throw in a party, an argument with the Mr., some mediocre flabby body sex, and there we have it.

    Which reminds me, I have to take the subway tonight, the Mr. is going bowling and can’t pick me up. At least I don’t have to cook tonight. I’ll make myself a pb jelly sandwich and watch Oprah.

  18. Jimmy

    For those who refuse to believe that this individual is just another skanky whore trying for that BIG $core before she ages to the point that no one would screw her even if the price was zero, just follow the money! For a price, she will remain silent. This is either blackmailing, extortion, or a “paid for services rendered” financial deal. It would do well for other famous folks who want to make it to the “Horn Dog Hall of Fame” to have their lawyers draw up a contract beforehand that would preclude these shenanigans.

  19. American Dadda

    I hope Inka Plinka Woods takes him for 400 Million.

    He has too much money and too little sense.

    If he likes it dirty, he doesnt need to be married. If he likes Bar Whores he doesnt need too much money.

  20. Randal(l)

    Tiger Woods is this sites new Megan Fox. He’s on here 12 times a day for something that clearly doesn’t deserve that level of publicity. That being said:

    Tiger, Tits or GTFO

    Randal(l)

  21. JustJess

    The bitch is schizo taboot.

  22. Sunshine

    THAT IS NOT SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR YOUR AUDIENCE OF YOUNG CHILDREN WHO LOOKED UP TO YOU AND ADMIRED YOU. Wealth and money has ruined you and turned you into a sleezeball whore.

  23. JustJess

    #9

    Tiger is 6’1 – so I’m pretty sure it’s decent… :)

  24. Rosie

    Does anyone else find it humorous that this woman is being paid to shut her mouth for opening her legs?!!

  25. Vlad Lenin

    #3. I completely agree. I just think it’s hilarious that you’re right – because I also agree with #4. There ain’t no in-bed antics, no matter how wild or kinky, that are worth $1MM to me.

    But I’ve had women who I personally think were better looking than the lady in question, and all it cost me was a smile, some $ invested in clothes, a nice set of wheels, a decent place to live (to take her back to), etc.

    Then again, I’m not a billionaire. When you have 1,000 million dollars perhaps spending $50,000 to jet someone to Australia, put them up in a 5 star place, shower them with bling (or whatever), just to play with their silicone bags is small-change. All a matter of perspective, I suppose.

    But If Tiger was spending his money to ensure discretion… well, so much for THAT plan…

  26. Valerie

    4: It’s not pussy he’s paying for, it’s privacy.

    6: your life sucks!

  27. Hmm…I wasn’t aware that height had anything to do with penis size. In fact, my brother is only 5’6″ and he’s hung like a horse. What?

  28. Another fame whore, complete with The Look.

  29. Hung Way Lo

    Whores. Seems like a crime was committed her. Adultery, seldom prosecuted unless you are in the military and prostitution. These women are being paid for having sex. Even if it was after, they are still getting paid. Leave this family alone and let them sort it out. Glass houses.

  30. boring Greg

    #29 o.k Greg Whitlow you sexy guy you.

    I dated you. You were white boring and mildly attractive.
    You had little fashion sense but made up for it in attentiveness and good manners. You drink beer and watch sports although you never actually played any sports yourself, your body as an example.
    All your friends were white, Chad, Brad, Rick, and you all car pooled, cheap bastards. You dance like an office worker but you are genuine and nice.

    BORING !

  31. @2/26

    now hold on a minute there Aussie….

    You sound like a decent man, with a strong sense of morality, what say you we discuss some ‘economic’ issues of our own?

  32. shankyouverymuch

    Let’s talk about Mrs. Keaton, AKA – Meredith Baxter Birney … She’s the mother of 5 & has been married 3 times. Now all of a sudden at age 62 the clouds have parted & she has this revelation that she is a finger banging dyke!?!? This is a sad & confused old woman.

    Besides attention whoring, I see no conceivable reason for her to get on TV & announce to the world that she’s now a carpet munching purv.

    At her age this is obviously nothing more then a cheap & lame publicity stunt at trying to rekindle a career that has been all but dead for years & years! If you’re gay, fine- be gay, whatever, but really NOBODY gives 2 craps about the sexual proclivities of a dried up old prune~

    Thank you for your time & consideration in reviewing my opinions on this matter :O)

  33. PG

    She might not be a bang em fame broad after all.

  34. Feds

    We can track you Greg Whitlow by your Internet IP Address. Stop your hate talk now because it is a federal crime.

  35. Kim

    Don’t pay it Tiger. They world already knows.

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  37. tigerwoodsho#2345678

    @ #9 BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA LOL at my desk

  38. killerabbit

    Anyone else think she looks like Jessica Biel?

  39. farty mcshitface

    i wonder how much tiger paid to get her to zip her lip?

  40. Collagen? Implants? She’s like 33.

  41. Eric

    So Rachel and Gloria are blackmailing Tiger for a million?

  42. ada

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  43. Lena

    All white women are lying money grubbing Whores. That includes Elin. All they want is money.

  44. flaky

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  45. qim

    She looked hotter, when she was crying.

  46. Thank God she’s hiding that wonk eye.

  47. Thank God she’s hiding that wonk eye.

  48. brantty

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  49. Real woman

    Those women who dared to have affair with a married man who has his family should be ashamed of themselves. They are no brainers and selfish women who don’t care that they are wrecking someone’s family life. We all human beings value our family life but everything gets screwed up when one sex is about to commit a mistake and an opposite sex from somewhere stands up and partners up with the person committing mistake. Both men and women who have hands in wrecking someone’s family should both be equally ashamed of their deeds. In case of Tiger Wood, it’s a shame from his side but i also think those women should also feel equal shame. These kind of women like waging their tails, in a way, mentally seducing males. Beware of these kind of ladies. One day, they might wag their tail in front of your husband/partner. Not only a husband and wife have roles, we all, as human beings, have roles in matters of behaving and keeping one’s values and principles in one’s life.

    “Both men and women should watch their behaviours”.

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