UPDATE: Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM did go off, new warrant issued for her arrest

June 8th, 2010 // 45 Comments

The judge in Lindsay Lohan’s probation case has just revoked her bail and issued a new bench warrant for her arrest citing five violations stemming from her SCRAM, according to TMZ. It was reported earlier today that Lindsay’s alcohol monitoring device went off at a party Sunday which prompted her to go on Twitter and, I shit you not, claim people were just seeing a light-up party favor someone stuck in her boot. (Screen caps here in case she has the wherewithal to realize there’s now documented evidence of her bullshit.):

-My scram wasn’t set off-Its physically impossible considering I’ve nothing for it to go off-All of these false resports are absolutely wrong
-This is all because of a FALSE accusation by tabloids& paparazzi& it is fucking digusting- I’ve been more than I’m compliance &feeling great
-@lightaaron it’s from the light up bracelet Johnny put on me-also, they can check probation records for alcohol as i got tested YESTERDAY

What I love most about Lindsay is she doesn’t even stop to think how a light-up bracelet could somehow send a report to the courthouse letting them know she’s knocking back Grey Goose to make the tremors stop. Then again, if I sat in a bathtub full of crushed-up Vicodin all day I’d probably start blaming pinatas for crashing the stock market. You candy-filled sons of whores!

UPDATE: And she posted bail already, but is out $100,000 from the first warrant. Maybe if someone tried explaining things to Lindsay in kilos instead of dollars she wouldn’t violate her probation so much. Just a thought.

Photos: Getty
superficial

  1. melrae

    frist

  2. jason

    How did someone with such a freckled body ever make it in Hollywood?

  3. yeahitsme

    last

  4. jason

    In pic #2 it looks like there’s a vagina in her armpit.

  5. Laylo

    First!

    (Silly addict.)

  6. Oblomov

    @jason
    2 big reasons…

  7. Truth

    If Adam and Eve were white, were did black, brown and yellow people come from?

  8. Sussu

    FACTS:

    1. Lindsay is an ugly alcoholic pathetic loser

    2. Fish is not funny

    3. Elton John is gay

    4. Black people commit lots of crimes

    5. White people are annoying

    6. I like boobs

  9. The King

    @ # 2: Jason

    Umm… she didn’t make it in Hollywood. This slut has not been in a decent movie, or hit movie… ever. Speaking of her lack of any jobs, how the hell does she make money?

  10. Leon

    Girls, take notice. This is what happens when you party and drink all of the time — you start to look like like you are in your late thirties by the time you’re in your mid-twenties. Lindsay was never used to be this ugly. I mean, she was never a 10, but in Mean girls she was not bad. I would have banged her. But now… holy shit. She really messed up her face, her hair, and probably her pus. I bet that thing is so loose I can put my foot in it. Why can’t she just go away. It is not like she is attractive, talented, or even has any fans to speak of. Just disappear Lindsay, please.

  11. justifiable

    “I’ve nothing for it to go off” “I’ve been more than I’m compliance”

    You can see her brain dying from here. Cheers!

  12. Eric

    Sad pathetic freckled loser

  13. GWB&BHO

    I wonder what color her poopy is?

  14. Sissy Spacek has like 5000 more freckles than Lynds, and she won awards and stuff…

  15. I say we should give Lindsay the benefit of the doubt. Im still waiting for Lindsays reality show. Its long overdue.

  16. justifiable

    #15 Oooh, will it be called “Too Drunk to be Scared Straight”?

  17. Dr. John "Always at Your Cervix!"

    You mean to tell me that in addition to all the rest of it, she’s also illiterate? Which do we think is higher…her I.Q. or her bra size?

    Christ, what a cluster-fuck! Too bad. She used to be quite fuckable. (She still is to some extent, but not like before.)

  18. ladnaR

    Don’t worry haters, our “Industry” will come through to save Linds. She, like our royal celebrity everywhere, is not chattel like YOU people.
    Now go take a bath you dirty peasants.

    ladnaR

  19. Dr. John "Always at Your Cervix!"

    @15…using “Lindsay” and “reality” in the same sentence is akin to putting matter and anti-matter in the same peanut butter jar. ***KAAA-BOOOOOM!***

    < ...the world watches as a huge black hole forms just outside the solar system, just getting ready to suck everything away. Sort of like Lindsay when she snorts blow and gives head...>

  20. Crack

    What a fucking waste of man power to bring this bitch in. You know she’s not going to do time. Let her drink and snort herself to death. She’s obviously too fucking stupid to live. Let her die a slow death. Maybe she’ll wreck her car and it’ll be quick and if Heidi Montag has to be in the other car she collides with then so be it.

  21. Yoda Mann

    I’m trying to fathom the colossal amount of stupid here. Almost makes BP look like Steven Hawking.

  22. @21 – shut the fuck up, you little green lightsaber-wielding bastard.

  23. Jon

    Arrest this freckly bitch already.

  24. Jon

    Arghhhh I looked at her eyes.. ARGHHH I’m scarred.

    She is so completely out of it. Very attractive.. not.

  25. shine

    She’s not out 100,000 she only posted 10% just like she only posted 10% this time

  26. PostmortemG

    Je$u$ Chri$t, this woman is a *WRECK*. I´d sweep her off her feet and all that shit, but I´m in love, and therefore not available. Sorry, Lindsay. Good luck with all the bad stuff.

  27. captain america

    psssst: the electric chair wil solve some problems!!

  28. How fucking nice it would be if all I had to do to keep a gravy train rolling, was wake up and then NOT do some incredibly stupid things.

    Wake up and NOT smoke crack.

    NOT go to a drug-an-booze party with a drug-and-booze bracelet.

    NOT lose $100,000 because I just did NOT do either of the previous.

    Instead I make $70k/yr (and glad of that) because I actually have to do somewhere and actually DO SMART THINGS in addition to not doing incredibly stupid ones.

  29. Fati87

    This is fucking disgusting. She pisses all over the justice systems and could give less crap about their rules and orders, and yet she is not in jail yet? If she were a regular person, she’d already be roting in jail for such behaviour. Great system, America.

  30. Re: # 25, I’m not sure about that. She only posted $10k ’cause the rest is covered by the bondsman; but I think she now owes the bondsman another $90k ’cause he covered her.

  31. babejesus

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  32. So beautiful, thank you for sharing, I wish you happy

  33. fagballs

    Ah, she´ll be fine. She´ll just let her father be her pimp instead of her mother for a while now (I guess that what you call split custody) and work in his “nightclub” making the guests comfy. If she´s done there after a year or two and goes back for her mother to be exploited and won´t bring her mother home no money no more – don´t worry. Dina will still be fine. There´s a fortune to be made going to talkshows talking about how sad it is that your child died so young and how exploitive her father was but you always wanted the best for her – even with that kilo of blow you stuffed into her nose when she was already passed out and later died of.

    Lindsay Lohan
    1986 – 2012

  34. I always choose the skechers shape ups shoes than other some different shoes.

  35. owww…Lindsay…I like her more when she was still young than now…

  36. This chick is crazy, lol

  37. Nero

    Isn’t that pure anarchy when legal authorities telling you to wear that SCRAM bracelet but you just take it off?! Or not showing up in court on time?!

  38. Gando

    I guess Lindsay Lohan likes it the HARD way folks!

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  40. ClassyDirtyChick

    I hear you @29……….

  41. @8
    You’ve got to be Oriental. Should have added a number seven as “I can’t drive for shit”.

  42. Lolita

    Goddammit! Why can’t this fucking freckled cunt just fucking die or go to jail already! I’m so fucking sick of this LOSER BITCH.

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