BREAKING: Brittany Murphy killed by ‘drug intoxication’

The Superficial / February 4, 2010

And the results of Brittany Murphy’s toxicology report have just been released. TMZ reports:

Brittany Murphy’s cause of death has been determined — an accidental death caused by “community acquired pneumonia,” iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication.
The L.A. County Coroner concludes on the subject of “How injury occurred” — “Drug intake.”

Even more damning for Simon Monjack, it’s now being reported Brittany’s death was entirely preventable:

Sources say the primary causes of Murphy’s death were pneumonia and severe anemia. L.A. County Coroner officials believe Brittany’s condition was “treatable” but no one took her to the hospital in time.
As for the multiple drugs found in her system, we’re told they were both prescription, including medicine for cramps, and over-the-counter medications, including cough syrup. Our sources say the drugs “pushed her over the line” but the underlying problems were the pneumonia and anemia.

Gee, I wonder why nobody took her to the hospital? It couldn’t have been because she had a stomach full of illegally obtained prescription drugs that kept her married to her husband. That just doesn’t make sense…. Wait, I got it. There must have been penguins there! THOSE FLIPPERY BASTARDS!

But, no, seriously. Simon Monjack’s probably fleeing the country right now thus alleviating the burrito shortage afflicting southern California. So it looks like everything worked out after all.

The End.

Photos: WENN