BREAKING: Lindsay Lohan Still Has Those Big Breasts With Freckles On Them

The Superficial / September 5, 2013

If there’s one thing that’s kept me humble over the years – *sips coffee out of crystal decanter, realizes Photo Boy forgot to address him as “Mr. Scaramanga,” shoots him with golden gun* – it’s never touting anything I do here as having the slightest semblance of importance whatsoever. That being said, this post is probably the most pertinent and valuable information you will receive today. I can’t think of anything that could possibly be more vital to you, a citizen of the world, and I say that with complete humility. I’m simply the vessel.

Photos: Splash News