BREAKING: Charlie Sheen is Turning Away Porn Stars

March 10th, 2011 // 59 Comments

While Charlie Sheen plotted his grand legal scheme to sue Warner Bros. for a hundred jillion space bucks, porn star Britney Amber tried to gain access to Clam Manor yesterday only to be turned away by security. Granted, her first mistake was having tits that could fill more than a thimble, since when did winning involve less porn stars on the buffet table? Maybe my simple terrestrial mind can’t handle the thought process here, but I don’t see how having a spare is ever a bad idea. You get some duct tape and toss her in the basement for a bloody rainy day. And if her owner comes looking for her, you stab him in the dick with your pocket knife then feast on the steam rising from his wounds into your shark nostrils. Duh. Only a troll wouldn’t know that. — Wait a minute…

Photos: Flynet

superficial

  1. Captain Obvious

    first

  2. is that hew new home she’s holding?

  3. JC

    I like her box.

    Sorry…I couldn’t resist.

  4. I don’t classify winning as catching every STD known to man.

    • uncle ruckus

      +1
      The box is being used like a catheter to trap her slow dripping gonorrhea then send to sheen for nourishment, allowing him to summon his eagle powers!

  5. Cock Dr

    That jaundiced nail color is so classy.
    I’m sure she’d be a good nanny to the Sheen offspring. They could all take shifts at the Sober Ranch, because you really don’t want to be tonguing each other & drilling bong hits in front of the little ones. The lawyers would run hard with that kinda stuff.

  6. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    KIM
    Commented on this photo:

    ugly fucking boots!

  7. she’s way better then the other busted “goddesses”, especially the one with the giant mole on her head…

  8. marta

    No zip, she’ll starve to death before she gets delievered.

  9. bob

    Calling them ‘Goddesses’ is actually demeaning to women. They’re whores. I used to think this guy was cool but smoking filtertips and paying hookers, it’s not cool. He even looks like a smack head now.

  10. wad

    I pee pee poo poo he he.

  11. wad

    “alot” is two words Sir.

  12. CC

    I see a hint of pink pantie in pic. #4.

  13. Rhymes with Winning

    Maybe Charlie gave up hookers for lent?

  14. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    andy7171
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice thighs!

  15. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    Jenny
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t know that porn stars had to try this hard.

  16. Tadpole

    Thank you Charlie. I no longer have to download ton’s of crap porn to get to the good stuff. I just download whatever you are watching/doing. Winning. Capri=losing.

  17. cc

    She actually looks sort of cute. Is she gross without make up? Chasey Lain gross?

  18. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    lolno
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this bitch fucking retarded?

  19. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    Mark
    Commented on this photo:

    eeeeew,… certainly looked hotter while holding the box

  20. Colin

    Maybe her labia isn’t big enough to qualify as a foothill in the Himalayas.

  21. well thisgirl has some low self esteem issues if she thinks she is low enough for Charlie Sheen.

  22. It was all fun and games until yesterday when Tila Tequila said she wanted to move in to Clam Manor (also known a Case Cooze, The Porn Palace, Tiger Blood Winning Adonis Penis House, and Planned Parenthood).

    After the shock of that horror wore off, Charlie realized things had gone too far and ordered a security shutdown (also called a “whore lockout” in legal terms), just in time apparently, as Britney Amber and her failing liver might have slipped through the cracks otherwise.

  23. D. Rippleshit

    You know why she can’t get in the front door? She won’t open up the back door.

  24. Johnnybegood

    Charlie Sheen is definitely not winning. Turning down Britney Amber?? Britney Amber is the hottest pornstar on the Earth.. How could he turn her down. Dumb ass. Way hotter then his goddesses.. She is the real goddess. Just watch her porn. She is by far the hottest girl on the planet!

  25. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet Jesus I hope that box is filled with nothing but reality.

  26. Johnnybegood

    Clearly a fucking loser who searches celebrities on the superficial instead of watching porn like every other hetero-sexual male. So we already know Superficial is your favorite site so whats your second favorite site? ilovesuckingcock.com? You could never get hard for a real girl let alone Britney Amber. The real goddess!

  27. If that box contains her dignity, it’s over-sized.

  28. dudeatdudedotdude

    Looks like crap on film.

  29. Mr.Do

    Does not taste like crap or feel like it.

  30. Johnnybegood

    What looks like crap on film??? WTF!? Yeaaa best pornstar and no other girl fucks better than her// If so tell me who and she is a solid 12 hands down hottest girl!

  31. That's Retarded

    That’s Retarded

  32. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    oohlilit
    Commented on this photo:

    and thighs, and skirt, and face!

  33. the captain

    Hand Delivered post by a Porn star.
    well, the stand up comedian is in every one of us.

  34. SweepTheLeg

    “Beverly Hills P.O.”…. P.O. what you fucking idiot! Because if you are going to his house that’s not a fucking P.O. BOX which I can only assume you meant. Little details turn me on people, and I’m sorry but I am not turned on.

  35. 36-COLE SEELY

    Charlie Sheen such a person is on the news, his history has been a woe.

  36. The Edumacator

    Since you guys are so uneducated on the topic of pornography i just wanted to say something. These pornstars have no STI’s except ones they possibly got from Charlie Sheen. They are tested constantly and go through a barrage of tests to make sure they have none. She wouldn’t be one anymore if she had any. And plus the second they get one thats their 2 week notice. To get their shit packed and their pension collected and setup an account so they can continue receiving money from their previous films and works.

  37. Charlie Sheen Porn Star Britney Amber
    Commented on this photo:

    Her parents tried to be supportive when she wanted the breast implant surgery at 16. They stood behind her when she started stripping for eightballs at 18. Dad even encouraged her by showing her porn movie to all the guys at work at 21…but this is the last straw!!! No parent deserves to see his daughter fall this far from grace.

  38. Lovely

    Why is this news?
    And what the hell is so great about a whore who has to get tested for STI’s all the time? No wonder why this world is so fucked up every one loves whores and celebrity crack heads.

  39. winner

    she has very STD known to man! GROSS haha

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