BREAKING: Charlie Sheen is Turning Away Porn Stars

By: Photo Boy / March 10, 2011

While Charlie Sheen plotted his grand legal scheme to sue Warner Bros. for a hundred jillion space bucks, porn star Britney Amber tried to gain access to Clam Manor yesterday only to be turned away by security. Granted, her first mistake was having tits that could fill more than a thimble, since when did winning involve less porn stars on the buffet table? Maybe my simple terrestrial mind can’t handle the thought process here, but I don’t see how having a spare is ever a bad idea. You get some duct tape and toss her in the basement for a bloody rainy day. And if her owner comes looking for her, you stab him in the dick with your pocket knife then feast on the steam rising from his wounds into your shark nostrils. Duh. Only a troll wouldn’t know that. — Wait a minute…

Photos: Flynet