Brandy might be charged with manslaughter

January 30th, 2007 // 102 Comments
brandy-manslaughter.jpg

The California Highway Patrol recommended yesterday that Brandy be charged with misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter for that crash last month that ended in a fatality. The CHP is saying in a report that she broke the law by driving at a speed “greater than is reasonable or prudent” or that “endangers the safety of persons or property.” If convicted she’d serve a maximum sentence of 1 year in prison and a $1,000 fine.

She should’ve just done what I do when I get arrested: bat my eyes and playfully push my chest together while purring “Oh, officer…” Keep in mind this only works if you’re stunningly handsome like I am, so I guess if Brandy tried it they’d mistake her for an extraterrestrial and have her shipped off to a lab.

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  1. Ramdonomo

    Reading the original story, it sounds like it was a serious tragedy. I’m sure her guilt at not paying attention is far worse than anything anyone else could dream up.

  2. lstar28

    Yeah she’ll probably get slapped on wrist and fined and made to do community hours. Meh celebrities don’t go to jail except for Martha Stewart she goes to jail and makes it look GOOD!

  3. Tuesday

    she’s also facing deportation, i think it’s to one of jupiter’s moons.

  4. Jenster

    Good, I’m all for ET going to the slammer.
    You kill someone; directly or indirectly, you go to jail, its that easy.

  5. Ramdonomo

    lstar28, considering the MAXIMUM sentence is a year in jail and $1000 fine, I don’t think there would be a whole lot of consequences anyway.

  6. Ramdonomo

    ((You kill someone; directly or indirectly, you go to jail, its that easy.))

    ‘It’s that easy’? Oy, I’m leaving before the stupid consumes me. Honestly. What a dumbshit, blanket statement to make.

  7. CCClub

    Maybe they will be lenient when learning that she volunteered her “jaws” to help free other trapped survivors at the scene.

    Opened up that car door like tinfoil.

  8. Tracy

    …and faster than you can say, “200 hours of community service,” this will all be over.

  9. Jay from the Bay

    Wasn’t she text messaging at the time of the accident? If that’s just not an absolute disregard for the lives of everyone on the road, what is? I’m sure it brings so much peace to the family of the victim to know their loved ones life was worth a maximum of $1,000 and a year in jail. Disgusting. Brandy can go straight to hell.

  10. anothershityear

    #3 that’s not deportation, she has an escape-route back to her home-planet in case of a conviction

  11. I’m honestly surprised that vehicular manslaughter carries a maximum of one year — in county jail, no less, not prison.

    In any case, Brandy, please don’t sing a tribute to the dead woman. :P (I have the opening ‘To the left’ of Beyonce’s Irreplaceable in my head atm, and it lends itself way too well to tasteless car-crash lyrics.)

  12. llllllllll

    Can she look anymore like an octopus? Her eyes are so spaced apart that you would literally break your fingers trying to do a poke the eyes out three stooges move on her.

  13. anothershityear

    #4 “You kill someone; directly or indirectly, you go to jail, its that easy.”

    no. it’s not.
    it really, is not.

  14. heyheyhey

    Jesus, #9, you need to calm down and pick up a law book. She didnt intentionally run the person over, NO ONE would get the book thrown at them for this. Sheesh, just stupid…what’s all this misdirected anger at celebrities for? “She can go straight to hell”??? Therapy. You definitely need therapy.

  15. gambitzero

    One Year? That’s all she might get. One Year? She should get a dozen just for having a head that would scare children and old ladies. That is way too lenient. I say, up against the wall and start counting backwards from 5.
    Oh and a fine for the manslaughter thing. That’ll show her!

  16. Lowlands

    I guess when she got out,she forgot to put her boobs together in front of this gay officer.Next step,try to present your greatest smile in front of the judge.

  17. justme

    What is it with niggers and cell phones. What do these monkeys talk about all day except for drug dealing.

  18. How about just charging her with being a man?

  19. GeannaSparrow

    Fucking aliens. Is th universe not enough for you?! Have ta come and ‘accidentally’ kill people on Earth, too?! Gah. Aliens piss me off.

  20. anothershityear

    #7 rotflmao

    she’s already guilty of involuntary girlslaughter

    i remember, she was kind of cute for around 11 minutes some years ago

    http://www.eparsa.fr/webredactions/images/people%20janvier/brandy.jpg

    that was before the tarantula-people injected some kind of experimental DNA-altering fluid into her, killing off Brandy and turning her into…. well, whatever the fuck the thing in today’s pic is

  21. Lowlands

    Would she be looking forward to this womendetention-life?I wonder how long she could keep it up…

  22. Me

    All I can say about this is that I don’t really care. Absolutly nothing is going to happen to her. She is not even required to appear in court to offer her plea, nor for sentencing. She really is just going to get a slap on the wrist.

    On another note…….That is just about the worst picture of Brandy I have EVER seen. I was actually, phisically scared when i scrolled down to the picture. My brain does not even know what to do right now. I think I am going to have nightmares of Brandy as “It”

  23. llllllllll

    I really have no words for this
    http://i8.tinypic.com/24otzk6.jpg

  24. UNCLE NED

    These Hollywood-types are immune to serious prosecution in L.A., same way the politicians are in Washington. Remember that Kennedy last year who got drunk and slammed into the barrier outside Congress? The police escorted him home.
    It’s disgusting. Brandy will plead down and do zero-time and everybody knows it.

  25. DrBob2607

    Wouldn’t you just love to wake up with morning wood, look down, and see that face and those teeth heading for Mr.Happy ?

    Sweet tunderin’ jeezus! Your dick would fall off and crawl under the bed to get away

  26. HollyJ

    Forget the accident… she should be in prison for having eyes further apart than a hammerhead.

  27. 86

    Those pictures were fucking hilarious. ET?! You slay me.

  28. Joshingya31

    Where’s the Men in Black when you need them?

  29. 86

    Brandy “misdemeanor” Norwood

  30. 86

    But seriously, this is sad. We all text when we drive.

  31. D'oh Eyes

    @32
    No we don’t.

    Did the Fish writer just admit to having manboobs?

  32. RichPort

    Geeez… her mouth is so big, she looks like one of those flipping head Canadians on South Park.

    Uuuuuunclefucker!

  33. jesseeca

    who texts while they drive?

    considering a lot of states have hand’s free cellphones laws, it doesn’t make much sense to be texting while driving considering that’s 10000 times more distracting.

  34. meee

    what a fucking bitch. our cjus system is disappointing.

  35. THUNDER

    It was a tragic accident. PERIOD! She wasn’t drunk, nor was she on drugs. If Brandy goes to jail, then so should that guy from Prison Break, who was drunk and high and killed a seventeen year-old boy.

  36. Mo

    I just wish she hadn’t hit innocent people. Why wasn’t it Hasselhoff?

  37. N@ughty

    Are you serious? only manslaughter? what happens after she’s found innocent cause she’s some sort of “celebrity” (by the way, her last CD didn’t sell too good cause she’s a has-been)? does she just pay a fine and that’s it? she took someone’s life for crying out loud! manslaughter isn’t the word. how about “Dumb, DUI and just plain not thinking”? don’t they place ppl like that in the lunatic asylum?

    ~N@ughty

  38. N@ughty

    another thing i would like to add…Lil’ Kim went to jail for a year and a DAY for NOT doing anything. no…she went to jail for NOT snitching. now if Lil’ Kim was sentenced to jail that quick for NOT snitching, don’tcha think that Brandy’s case would have taken about oh…3 minutes?

  39. nicholelibra

    #40- ????? They just don’t lock people up for doing nothing. It’s called perjury. She lied to a grand jury. If she wasn’t sitting there trying to cover everyone elses’ ass instead of her own she wouldn’t have had that problem. Imagine how you would feel if you lost a loved one to gun violence and their murderer walked free because no one “snitched” on them.

  40. Juliabella

    BRANDY IS FUCKIN UGLY MEN!

  41. 86

    33, 35 Sorry MOM. I guess you’re going to take away my keys now. Damn.

  42. Juliabella

    And spank you while she’s at it!

  43. whitegold

    I’m confused. From what I understand this was 100% her fault?! The police would be all over any non-celebrity in a heart beat if they did this! She quite literally killed someone cuz of her own negligence. So the CHP “recommended” she be charged. As if there is something to consider her?! And seriously, vehicular manslaughter only gets you a max 1 year sentence and $1K fine? Geez, if I want to kill someone, I know how I’m gonna do it. “Oh, sorry officer, it was a total accident, I didn’t see them standing there.”

  44. jesseeca

    it’s just a little annoying when someone hits you (and damages your car)because they’re not paying attention while driving because they’re too busy texting or talking on the cell phone. yeah, sorry for being annoyed about #43, my bad & sorry for cutting into your social time!

  45. mztry

    In this case there are no winners… only losers. A life can be lost because someone blinks at the wrong time.

    Kill or be killed… get your lives in order people… it could be YOU next time in EITHER of these positions.

  46. Jay from the Bay

    @14 – No, Brandy did not walk to her car with the explicit intention of killing the specific woman she killed. My point was that she was text massaging while driving which caused the accident. Anyone who causes an accident by doing things while driving that they shouldn’t be doing (i.e., text messaging) can go straight to hell. How would you react if someone in your family was killed for no reason other than Brandy needs to text message her pimp?

    BTW, I already have my JD. Further, not using a hands-free device while driving is already illegal here in CA so suck it.

  47. wedgeone

    Using a cell phone while driving for ANY purpose should be a misdemeanor. Studies and tests show that using a cell phone while driving is the equivalent of driving while drunk. Lots of folks get a DUI and end up paying more of a penalty than this freak will.
    To top it off, she caused someone to die as a result of her using the cell phone. How they look at this manslaughter charge as a misdemeanor is beyond me.

    #33 – yes, Mr. Fish did talk about pushing his boobs together. Never works if you’re a guy. Not even when the cop is a chick.

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