Brandon Davis hit the hair salon over the weekend and the professionals wouldn’t touch him without gloves on. Stylists at the Frederic Fakkai Salon were appalled at Brandon’s grease to hair ratio, according to Page Six:
“Even the shampoo person wore gloves,” said a source. “He [Davis] was really out of it, sweating profusely. His eyes were half shut and he was asking for carrot juice, even after they told him they only had orange juice.”
So that’s his secret; carrot juice. All this time I was dunking my head in deep fryers, hanging out with mechanics, and laying on the floor of Britney Spears’ car. But, now I know how to get that masculine, greasy look: carrot juice. Of course, it’s so simple. I’m totally getting laid tonight. More than usual that is. I wonder if carrot juice will also make my pecs sparkle like a diamond. A sex diamond.
Note: I have no idea what a sex diamond is nor did I fund several unsuccessful expeditions into the heart of Africa that left me broke and living out of a dumpster. I’m not that big into shiny objects. Ooh, a brand new spoon! Yay!
*AGATHA* | November 14, 2007 at 6:16 pm
hee gues how is first
No | November 14, 2007 at 6:16 pm
ew
combustion8 | November 14, 2007 at 6:18 pm
that’s it, he’s going to the top of my deathlist.
*AGATHA* | November 14, 2007 at 6:19 pm
agh man my sparkling moment and I wrote how
:D
If we would have a person in our salon we would so kick him out!
who is this dude?
kagres | November 14, 2007 at 6:22 pm
…ewwwwww
KTG13 | November 14, 2007 at 6:26 pm
It is semen.
mamadough | November 14, 2007 at 6:29 pm
you normally see hair like that all around the asshole and butt crack
Sue | November 14, 2007 at 6:35 pm
gay. he’s gay. he’s so gay. gay gay gay gay gay.
Jimbo | November 14, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Who is this grease ball?
haroof | November 14, 2007 at 6:40 pm
god damn this guy has problems.
i mean, besides being a sweaty, disgusting, greasy pig…
sydney | November 14, 2007 at 6:40 pm
erlack
sydney | November 14, 2007 at 6:40 pm
erlack
sydney | November 14, 2007 at 6:41 pm
erlack
Ript1&0 | November 14, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Holy shit….. I’m probably gonna be the only one to say this (as usual), but Brandon Davis is fucking so goddamn hot. He needs a good hosing off….mmm come here boy….
Wait. He’s got a thing against firecrotches? Damn, I lose again. I blew it. Man….. I’m so lame Brandon Davis won’t even fuck me. Which is the epitomy of lameness for sure.
lux | November 14, 2007 at 6:46 pm
He is an oil heir, is he not? Perhaps that is why he is so greasy…some rich people roll around in money, but he rolls around in oil!
Chick Crack | November 14, 2007 at 6:48 pm
A loser + serious gay face. Someone should yank his trust fund from under him, so he has to get a job and McDonald’s.
Oil Spill Ahead | November 14, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Can anybody tell me why he is so damn oily and sweaty looking? I mean, is it that he rarely showers or does he just altogether eschew hygiene of any sort? Looking at him makes me want to go douche.
Icky.
Kat | November 14, 2007 at 6:49 pm
EwWwWwW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is fucking gross…..I seriously do not get how a stuck up bitch like Paris hangs out with a gross, broke, greaseball like this guy. Somehow, he must either provide her with drugs or something else she wants out of him…otherwise I can’t possibly see what she does around him.
WhyAmISupposedToGiveAShit | November 14, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Who is this guy? Mandy Moore after a sex change? Why is he important enough to show a picture. Couldn’t anyone with a minimum wage job working the fryolators at Mcdonalds been greasy enough? Enough questions I have to go back to work.
LL | November 14, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Jesus Christ, I think my computer just got the herps and genital warts from him being on the screen. There is no amount of money that could make him attractive to me. I’d rather chance it with someone at an AIDS hospice.
T | November 14, 2007 at 7:12 pm
He’s disgusting.
“All this time I was dunking my head in deep fryers, hanging out with mechanics, and laying on the floor of Britney Spears’ car.”
Fuckin hilarious…
23apples | November 14, 2007 at 7:15 pm
You people are cruel. He can’t help it that he was a victim of an oil spill, and they are only just now getting to him for the cleanup. Bounty paper towels favors penguins over Brandon Davis. SO what!?
shanipie | November 14, 2007 at 7:29 pm
He is such a spoiled little waste of life?
Why do I give a shit about him again?
Nick | November 14, 2007 at 7:31 pm
What’s his address? I am sending him a crate of Dawn.
Feckless | November 14, 2007 at 7:36 pm
Why does he make me think of the song “Betty Davis Eyes”? I’m trying to remember the name of that one poor-oozing disease and all I can think of is that death ray stare.
Burgernoodle | November 14, 2007 at 7:39 pm
I think he just dipped his head into the San Francisco Bay…
KC | November 14, 2007 at 8:28 pm
That’s not grease, it’s douche, and he’s he bag.
endoftheshityear | November 14, 2007 at 8:53 pm
I’d be the last one to cast aspersions,
but judging by that picture,
I’d guess he’s “drunk” a lot of “juice” out of a lot of “carrots” in his day
Sissy | November 14, 2007 at 9:10 pm
I found him at one big site, it seems that is (Millionairematch.com/photo/bloger). Sorry. I forget the username. I will check if this is true. I will tell you the results soon.
The Beer Baron | November 14, 2007 at 9:50 pm
Grease is the word. This guy is about as greasy as the Growing up Gotti shitheads. To complete the look, all this douche needs is a solid gold IROC convertible.
aussie | November 14, 2007 at 10:03 pm
I think he has an over-active thyroid or two, perhaps three…..
Amanda | November 14, 2007 at 10:28 pm
He looks like he never showers. You would think someone with money would atleast be able to look half way decent. He looks like he ate at KFC and used his face and hair as a napkin.
Igottabemeee | November 14, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Someone just used the word “eschew?” Things are looking up at The Superficial.
But, back to the topic – eww.
hausfrau | November 14, 2007 at 10:55 pm
I so hate guys who think they are hot when they are NOT. Greaseball.
I might fuck him after a bottle of wine though.
H.A.L.9000 | November 14, 2007 at 11:50 pm
FYI — A “sex diamond” is when the vagina or ass is so tight, it can turn a lump of coal into a diamond.
Lady Sin | November 15, 2007 at 1:25 am
His mouth was MADE for bjs!
Lindsay Lohan's Twin's Twin | November 15, 2007 at 3:03 am
He’s dripping grease all over that Maxim chick below him. Getting her titties all nice and shiny.
LL'ST'ST | November 15, 2007 at 3:04 am
You might have to refresh the page for that joke to make sense.
yhalothar | November 15, 2007 at 4:16 am
Who?
lol | November 15, 2007 at 4:18 am
what a f’n funny post.. i have tears in my eyes
jolin | November 15, 2007 at 5:39 am
tough man. i just wander why he is so popular on a dating site called sugarcupid.com. maybe his photos there are excellent. i think this one is so so.
Unlikeable J | November 15, 2007 at 8:53 am
How many litres of alcohol would you have to drink before he looked attractive? And dude, for fucks sake have a shave.
minniememe | November 15, 2007 at 9:48 am
i’ve shit greasy hangover turds that were more attactive than this douche
shaun | November 15, 2007 at 10:05 am
jesus christ this guy is fugly. and what’s with those lips? he’s the kind of guy you’d want to crack in the face, except your fist would slip right off it.
Shallo Val | November 15, 2007 at 10:19 am
Ewwww, who is this gross, gross man? Looks like an even uglier version of Ashley Simian’s boyfriend.
heehee | November 15, 2007 at 11:19 am
he needs to cut his hair short and wash it very often and about he need to wash it every hour
BunnyButt | November 15, 2007 at 11:48 am
Never heard of him.
Dominck | November 15, 2007 at 12:17 pm
He has great lips and kinda sexy..too bad he is a drug addict and smokes..yuck!
Stuey | November 15, 2007 at 12:41 pm
God love Wikipedia
Brandon Zarif (born 1979), better known as Brandon Davis, is the grandson of oil magnate Marvin Davis and former heir to his fortune. He has achieved fame in American media through his friendship and lewd behavior with Paris Hilton; he is known for leveling derogatory remarks at celebrities like Lindsay Lohan[1] and Paula Abdul.[2] He dated Mischa Barton briefly.
Davis’ father Nebil Zarif is a Turkish-American wine importer who married Marvin Davis’ daughter Nancy. Davis has recently been cut off by his parents[3] due to his drug abuse and also out of embarrassment over his lewd public antics.
Davis checked into a rehab faciliy in 2001. In June 2006 he once more sought treatment for his alcohol and cocaine addictions by entering Passages, a $75,000-a-month center in Malibu.[4] In 2007, Davis was cut off from his finances by his family until he went through treatment. [5][6]
He’s also famous for being incredibly sweaty/greasy, earning him the nickname Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis. This is also in reference to how he resembles a bear, due to his pudgy body type and facial features.
Stuey | November 15, 2007 at 12:43 pm
edit:
remember the video of him saying Linsay Lohan is only worth like 7 million…so basically she is poor?
WHOSE LAUGHING NOW GREASER?! HAHAHAHA