Brandon Davis pushes the boundaries of grease

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Brandon Davis hit the hair salon over the weekend and the professionals wouldn’t touch him without gloves on. Stylists at the Frederic Fakkai Salon were appalled at Brandon’s grease to hair ratio, according to Page Six:

“Even the shampoo person wore gloves,” said a source. “He [Davis] was really out of it, sweating profusely. His eyes were half shut and he was asking for carrot juice, even after they told him they only had orange juice.”

So that’s his secret; carrot juice. All this time I was dunking my head in deep fryers, hanging out with mechanics, and laying on the floor of Britney Spears’ car. But, now I know how to get that masculine, greasy look: carrot juice. Of course, it’s so simple. I’m totally getting laid tonight. More than usual that is. I wonder if carrot juice will also make my pecs sparkle like a diamond. A sex diamond.

Note: I have no idea what a sex diamond is nor did I fund several unsuccessful expeditions into the heart of Africa that left me broke and living out of a dumpster. I’m not that big into shiny objects. Ooh, a brand new spoon! Yay!

Photos: Splash News