Brandon Davis is living in the past

August 17th, 2006 // 79 Comments
brandon-davis-firecrotch.jpg

Brandon Davis recently got out of rehab but showed up drunk to the launch of party of Paris Hilton’s debut album at Suite in Miami and, after crawling on stage, starting yelling about a Firecrotch song he wrote for Lindsay Lohan.

“I wrote a special new song called ‘Firecrotch,’ and it’s for Lindsay Lohan!” He proceeded to ramble on, reminding folks about his infamous online video rant against the actress, which led to him checking into rehab in the first place. An insider tells us the “Firecrotch” song is real and was produced by Scott Storch, who twiddled knobs on Hilton’s album.

It was amusing the first time he called Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch but now it’s getting kind of old. With that much money you’d think he could come up with better ways to get attention than just rehashing his old material. Like buying a couple of bald eagles and eating them in Times Square. Or taking a dump out the window of his solid gold car.

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  1. Has there ever been a pic of this guy where he didn’t look fat and sweaty?

  2. Ivana Mandalay

    Heh. It says “twiddled knobs” up there.

    Scott Storch is a total reality tv show douchebag.
    The guy tries so hard to look and act like a black guy it’s pathetic. He’s “twiddling knobs” with every no talent, attention seeking tramp that’s trying to make a name for herself in the music business. Brooke Hogan, Paris Hilton and those 5 screeching cats P. Diddy picked out for his band. His beats are super lame.
    He must be hard up for cash.

  3. Ivana Mandalay

    Heh. It says “twiddled knobs” up there.

    Scott Storch is a total reality tv show douchebag.
    The guy tries so hard to look and act like a black guy it’s pathetic. He’s “twiddling knobs” with every no talent, attention seeking tramp that’s trying to make a name for herself in the music business. Brooke Hogan, Paris Hilton and those 5 screeching cats P. Diddy picked out for his band. His beats are super lame.
    He must be hard up for cash.

  4. Ivana Mandalay

    damn it, sorry about the 2nd post. Maybe douchebag-ness is as contagious as Paris’ crusty cooch.

  5. maddawg_pimp

    Why does he look like he has spunk all over his mouth in this picture?

  6. SuperShallow

    he has a pretty little girl mouth….he really shouldn’t make that face very often

  7. Tits_McGhee

    He looks like an uglier version of Noel Gallagher from Oasis. Creepy.

  8. Darwina

    Who now?

  9. docta

    he’s too shiny. i don’t like him. :[

  10. mercedes215

    This guy is a complete waste of space. But he hates the firecrotch. And for that I love him dearly.

  11. Equalparts

    #39
    A little chorizo poinsoning never hurt anyone! C’mon, live a little.

  12. Equalparts

    Ladies:

    Imagine having this pig on top of you, gruntin’ and pushin’ and having nose sweat trickle off of his face, hitting you on the corner of her mouth? The the oil and grease on his hair and face alone is enough to deep fry some fatbacks and pigs feet for an entire Jackson family reunion.

  13. LeadingLadybug

    He always looks like he’d smell like stinky cheese.

  14. chickiepie

    He looks like Elvis.

    The old, sweaty Elvis in a sequined pantsuit, not the hot, young Elvis in black leather.

    Either way, chances are this guy is going to wind up dead on a toilet pretty soon.

  15. TriStateSucka

    Tell me again why this guy is in the tabloids? He is a nobody, please stop showing his face or displaying his name. He needs to go away.

  16. clarknova

    He should use botox to inflate his brain instead of his disgusting lips.

  17. ChickenScratch

    Who is this faggot that keeps showing up at these events?

    He looks more plastic than Paris.

  18. alaskanchicsickle

    I think we should just start calling him Oily_Sweaty_Balls.

  19. Jan E-J

    Oh gawd.

    I wanted to wax the kitchen floor tonight, but sadly I was out of Future.

    Coulda put this greasy dude on his head and shined up the whole damn place, top to bottom.

    Barf.

  20. adamstevens123

    Isn’t that guy a retard?

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  22. cole007

    1) ‘He looks like the cook at “El chapultapec”, the Mexican dive down the street from my house, after a 15 hour shift cooking chorizo.’ BRILLIANT – whoever wrote that is a comic genius. 2)This turd will end up dead somewhere, booze overdose. Maybe he’ll drown in his own vomit, or fall overboard his own yacht and they’ll find an arm at sea. We can only hope. 3) In defense of Lohan, who will also die of an overdose, she will at least do something with her life, unlike this guy whose money will all go to his maid or something…

  23. he could be so hot in an Elvis kinds way if he wasn’t so wet all the time. You think with all that money he would purchase a towel! And being famous for coming up with ‘firecrotch’ is not an accomplishment, if it really is a song, then maybe that might be.

  24. jrzmommy

    He’s like the Robert Downey, Jr. character from “Less Than Zero”. He’s just a coke line away from suckin’ that dick — if he hasn’t already.

    Who’s gonna buy the farm first? Will it be Brandon Davis from an OD, Hohan from a suicide or Nicole Richie from anorexia?

  25. BestNameEver

    OMG @62.

    What a picture you’ve drawn. Now I can never look at that doughy greaseball without conjuring up that image again.
    *shudder*

    And good God, that was the best Mischa Barton could do at the time???

  26. KelKel

    Way to go one trick pony! Whatta Fat bloated loser of a socialite drunk,go back to the betty ford clinic

  27. bboy4life

    This fat greaseball needs to get bitch slapped by L.Lohan’s dad!!! This guy is a loser. This guy needs to get checked!!! Man-up fool!!! Didnt your etiquette intructor or your Dad teach you not to talk about women. And what kind of loser brags about daddys money. Get you own money fool! Wilmer Valderrama should kick his ass for making that Mariachi comment! But i know for a fact the that this greasy fat botoxed-up bozo would run and hide cuz he obviously has no balls!!! Cuz theyre on Paris’ chin!!!!

  28. who?…but that’s funny as hell

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