Brandon Davis – the guy who called Lindsay Lohan ‘Firecrotch’ and made fun of her for only having $7 million – allegedly bounced a $10,000 check he gave to Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis. Additionally, he supposedly owes record producer Scott Storch and The Palm casino owner George Maloof money, suggesting the billions of dollars his grandfather made aren’t readily accessible by his family.
Before Brandon told Page Six, “[Bleep] you,” and hung up, he explained that his check had bounced because he was switching banks and that he’d paid Francis back in cash (which Francis denies). The check, a copy of which was obtained by Page Six, states it was refused for “insufficient funds.”
The only justice now would be for Lindsay Lohan to make fun of Brandon Davis’ poverty by driving by in her Kia and offering him some cash. Only she can’t afford to give away real money so it’d have to be the Monopoly kind. Or maybe just newspaper cut into little rectangles with “Real Moneys” written on it with permanent marker.
Chaste | October 16, 2006 at 1:43 pm
first
ponk | October 16, 2006 at 1:44 pm
can’t afford his expensive porn anymore? might have to start banging paris hilton and making his own.
thebor | October 16, 2006 at 1:45 pm
BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Awesome just fucking awesome. My day has been made. Hohan should celebrate with a couple of Shemales and a Scarface pile of coke.
Yeah!!!
Tracie | October 16, 2006 at 1:45 pm
BDLTC! Too bad he’a an oil heir, because it’s obvious he bathes in it every day. Too bad he wasn’t the heir to an antiperspirant fortune or something…
Nooken | October 16, 2006 at 1:45 pm
That guy is some kind of hideous! Even Lohan looks good beside him. And why is he giving Joe Francis money?
Missed first by this much…
Angry Ferret Jones | October 16, 2006 at 1:46 pm
… and Ugly.
Don’t forget ugly.
Tracie | October 16, 2006 at 1:46 pm
*he’s ;)
Angry Ferret Jones | October 16, 2006 at 1:47 pm
#3 is right, he is one greasy sum’bich. I just want to wipe him off and send him home.
The same way I do to Edna after our dates.
Karen Rani | October 16, 2006 at 1:50 pm
Maybe someone should tell that poor sap that there are showers in some men’s shelters. I’m pretty sure they let you use soap and shampoo too. (God he is digusting)
Chaste | October 16, 2006 at 1:51 pm
does anyone have a pic of him where he looks good on? I may prevent myself from thinking someone poured some oil on his head probably for an easier penetration.
HolisticWisdomcom | October 16, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Karma
Ramdonomo | October 16, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Should have trademarked the term ‘FIRECROTCH’. That way, anytime the Superfish got off on using it, Brandon would have made money.
What a dumb fuck. Turned around and bit him in the ass. Always does.
Ed Bambrick | October 16, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Brandon Davis has given us the term “firecrotch.” Since his life is now complete, he can be found & exterminated.
Binky | October 16, 2006 at 1:58 pm
My sources tell me Davis was trying to get Francis to change the name of his new flick – from ‘Girls Gone Wild : Oily Hair edition’ to ‘Girls Gone Wild : Oily Heir Edition ‘.
Francis of course agreed – willing to do anything for moola.
trinket | October 16, 2006 at 2:01 pm
I just wish there was a picture of him in which he wasn’t wearing his stick-on eyebrows. He looks like a cross between Gomez Addams and Elizabeth Taylor. Only shinier. And poorer.
Holy Candy | October 16, 2006 at 2:01 pm
One has to wonder why Brandon owes him $10K. Is Joe in the business of pimping out wasted teenagers, too? I guess that’s the only way Brandon can get a piece…
http://www.Holycandy.com
pinky_nip | October 16, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Money can’t buy happiness, or talent.
Madrid Marriott | October 16, 2006 at 2:06 pm
I suspect the shininess is attributable to the fact that Davis and Francis gave each other facials. As we all know, Francis severely craves the cock.
Tracie | October 16, 2006 at 2:13 pm
The only photo I found of him without an oil-streaked face (the hair, of course, is a different story): http://www.celebguru.org/images/brandon_davis1.jpg
And here’s a more appropriate pic:
http://everyonehasavice.com/wordpress/wp-content/idiotspewethlo.jpg
Tracie | October 16, 2006 at 2:15 pm
The only photo I found of him without an oil-streaked face (the hair, of course, is a different story): http://www.celebguru.org/images/brandon_davis1.jpg
And here’s a more appropriate pic:
http://everyonehasavice.com/wordpress/wp-content/idiotspewethlo.jpg
UNWASHEDMASSES | October 16, 2006 at 2:22 pm
My God. Poor Brandon may have to get a… JOB! Perish the thought. All he is qualified to do is sweat profusely, and make wisecracks that come back to bite him in the ass. Very talented. He should Joe Francis to show him how to give a high dollar BJ – that is what the bounced check was for.
Kg | October 16, 2006 at 2:26 pm
It’s called karma, people.
combustion8 | October 16, 2006 at 2:28 pm
what a munson.
theblemish.com | October 16, 2006 at 2:33 pm
It’s true, Krispy Kreme can destroy lives.
http://theblemish.com
Alex | October 16, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Yeah, going broke usually follows an ass kicking, according to Kevin Connolly.
mrs.t | October 16, 2006 at 2:41 pm
The check didn’t technically ‘bounce’. It slipped through the teller’s fingers and slithered out the door.
You know, because he’s all greasy and shit.
Krispy Kreme got nuthin on the Darvocet I’m on when it comes to harming one’s judgement.
yuckyfresh | October 16, 2006 at 2:55 pm
#2 – he’s already banging paris, everyone knows that.
#10 – brilliant. i can imagine he’d need a lot of lube to get his head that much farther up his own ass.
yuckyfresh | October 16, 2006 at 2:55 pm
still, for a few billion dollars i’d hit it.
peanutbuttercrotch | October 16, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Please, no more posts about this fugly ass grease monkey EVER AGAIN! He’s so nauseating…
CelebSlam.com | October 16, 2006 at 2:58 pm
He’s also ‘greasy’
http://www.celebslam.com
Astriastar | October 16, 2006 at 3:16 pm
AHahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Thanks for brightening my day! This fucking retard’s 15 minutes have be up for months. Will he now please just crawl in a corner and die already? Please?
Jacquelantern | October 16, 2006 at 3:20 pm
The oily everything is pretty disgusting… But I gotta say the overly plucked/shaped eyebrows are what really bother me… all toghether eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww
combustion8 | October 16, 2006 at 3:25 pm
his face is bulbous.
Dory | October 16, 2006 at 4:07 pm
This Guy is Gross…. I know he hangs with Paris and I know he came up with firecrotch but WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY??? He looks like Elvis gone bad! I mean, I would rather do the real Elvis when he was grossly overweight then do this guys he’s disgusting.
Just look at him, imagine the BO that wafts off him when he walks past you. It makes me gag just thinking about it. He tries to big note himself and all, what’s he ever done has he ever even had a job. If I ever become a billionair (I wish) I will NEVER EVER EVER leave any of it to my kids or grandkids, they can go out and get a job themselves cause there is NO WAY I would let any of my decendants end up like this grease ball. EW!
tsarinaamanda | October 16, 2006 at 4:46 pm
He looks like a fatter, uglier, creeper Elvis. An Elvis with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. At least Elvis could sing and earned his own money, this fat load has to leech off Grandaddy’s fortune. Piece of shit, although the “firecrotch” thing WAS brilliant…
RichPort | October 16, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Great. I saw this while eating then decided to throw out my porkchops.
Anonymous | October 16, 2006 at 5:14 pm
George W. Bush and his posse should stop invading Middle East countries in order to harvest oil. What Bush should do is harvest oil from Brandon Davis, the fat-ass greaseball pig. Fuck, the U.S. oil supply is set for life.
egomanimac | October 16, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Ok, first off, he did not “give us” firecrotch. I’ve had that one since at least my eighth grade summer break up with the red haired vixen I met at soccer camp. I am just devouring the delicious irony that is drunken (purported) billionaire’s blatherings. It would be about as ironic as Mark Foley putting away pedderasses. Oh wait…
lostopoly | October 16, 2006 at 6:05 pm
Here’s the article on where the money went…
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/55836/brandon_davis_may_not_be_rich.html
I was saying this back in September. That’s why Mischa dumped him. her people found out he didn’t have the money but was having PR people call him an “heir”.
NipsyHustle | October 16, 2006 at 6:29 pm
i hope he has access to a free clinic because once he can’t afford his Valtrex, he is going to shed his skin and become one giant herpe. see what happens when you poke paris’ poon? nothing good.
xx.deathcab.xx | October 16, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Whats wrong with you people? Sure he’s an oil heir, but that doesn’t imply he’s bathing in oil.
Everybody knows it’s leathery-smooth KY-JELLY.
Dory | October 16, 2006 at 7:15 pm
I feel bad making the elvis reference… i disrespected the King a bit there didn’t I. Elvis had talent and made money himself he started off poor and worked his way to the top Giant Herpes man is going to go the other way.
Anonymous | October 16, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Deathcab:
There’s enough oil in Brandon’s hair and face to supply enough fuel for the U.S. all year.
On a related note, Brandon sort of looks like a big fat, puss-filled zit that is ready to pop any second. I’d like to pop him–by smashing my fists into both sides of his face.
Italian Stallion | October 16, 2006 at 7:45 pm
@37 Bush would just fuck that up too………..
sexybitch | October 16, 2006 at 8:20 pm
#17 – you’re so right,
money CAN’T buy happiness or talent. But in his case he can’t even rent them.
naeboo~ | October 16, 2006 at 10:00 pm
maybe one day he would be laughing at people for having to eat in hilton and not with the sultan of brunei or sthg like that.
naeboo~ | October 16, 2006 at 10:02 pm
what he should be renting is some oxygen for his brains. it might help.
we just hope.
naeboo~ | October 16, 2006 at 10:04 pm
maybe he should be pay for some pure oxygen for his brains. it might help.
we only hope
Dory | October 16, 2006 at 10:07 pm
I dunno if the oxygen would help his brain but he should definatly be paying for it… someone like that breathing and not paying for it Must be criminal. He’s an oxygen bandit.
All Powerful Wizard Of Oz | October 16, 2006 at 11:57 pm
Is it me or does his face look like someone bukkaked him?
It must be me.