The grandma of Brandon Davis – the guy who called Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch – is telling her friends that Brandon Davis is now dating Lindsay Lohan. At Kenny G’s birthday party over the weekend she was overheard telling guests, “Brandon is dating Lindsay now!” A rep for Barbara confirmed her story and said that Brandon took Lindsay out to dinner last weekend, although a rep for Lohan denies everything, saying:
“It is unfortunate that Barbara Davis is desperate enough to make up a lie about Lindsay dating her grandson. Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon’s apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas.”
I’m not entirely sure replacing a small rumor she had dinner with some guy by telling everybody she’s a whore is a good idea. “My client doesn’t have dinner with billionaires! She’s far too busy sleeping with multiple foreign men for that kind of nonsense. A slut. A slut she is!”
This kid always looks so bummed. Must be tough being a fire-crotch.
The sad thing is, she couldn’t even land him most likely. I mean the guy may be a tool but he used to date Mischa Barton who, although I hate her is many times hotter than Lindsey (Anybody know what this rash is?) Lohan
lmao I love that the rebuttal to this is that Lohan is sleeping with too many other guys for this to be true… good one Lohan good one.
I’m just trying to imagine what Kenny G’s birthday party is like. I bet he had the awesomest cowboy clowns.
Hohan is an ugly, no-talent, disease-ridden tramp.
IOn other words, the perfect girl for a scumbag like Brandon Davis. They just belong together.
I’m trying to recall what Hohan ever did that propelled her into such stardom and high celebrity status.
Herbie Reloaded? That video where she’s dressed as a princess and rolls around on the floor crying? Help me out, folks.
Linsday Lohan’s Vagina: The World Tour
“Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas.”
Yeah, that kinda is a weird thing to say…
Just…
Yeah. Weird.
@8: That’s because overseas “firecrotch” means something positive.
Besides, the filthy Europeans will fuck anything.
#6 “I’m trying to recall what Hohan ever did that propelled her into such stardom and high celebrity status.”
The only place she is a “star” or “celebrity” is on celebrity gossip sites such as this (as well as tabloids & tabTV). No one else knows who the fuck she is.
Or, frankly, cares.
MUST we be forced to look at Jack Black’s pastey-smoothe torso in the ads here, btw?
I mean, come on!
#4 – You should come with a warning!! I just read that didn’t really laugh out loud but GUFFAWED. And that ain’t sexy. Then again, there is nothing in Framingham that really is.
when i get to be old as shit, i’m gonna spread all KINDS of rumors. that’s an awesome grandma!
Shit, let his kooky old grandma think that. She IS the one with the money right? Tell her you married him. It might get you into the will.
Kenny G’s b-day party? WTF?
I’ve heard Arab guys like anal. That’s our Lindsay
#11 – I don’t see Jack, but that Cheyenne girl freaks me out. She looks like a cross between the girl from The Ring and Jewel.
@4: There’s a lot of sax going on.
@13
Sounds fun, you can do anything you want and then blame it on alzheimers.
Lindsay’s Schedule
Monday- Margaritas in Madrid with Manuel
Tuesday- Tequila in Tehran with Terrorist cell
Wednesday-Whiskey in Warsaw with Wilhelm
Thursday- Throw up all day
Friday- shopping (another thing she does well!)
Saturday- Need a man fix…. Singapore Slings in Soho with Steve
Sunday-Secret visit with Gyno to discuss new symptom!
What a week!
I didn’t know we were exporting STD’s.
Brandon took Lindsay to dinner, but unfortunately for him, crabs weren’t on the menu.
#17
i got wrecked on
singapore slings
in raffles
peanuts on the floor
for those that know :)
Kenny G.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
#12 Why thank you. At least you’re not in Lawrence.
Somehow I imagine Brandon Davis’ grandmother as some chronically-alcoholic octagenerian, who just got out of another mini rehab stint where she way seeing strawberry cheesecake on the hospital walls for her three days without her Tanqueray. She probably thinks Brandon is still 13, and bursts capilaries in the oily fatback on his face when she locks her withered old claw on it to squeeze his cheeks.
I bet she puked on Kenny G’s sax and made him cry, too.
lmao @ the agent…that’s kind of like a lawyer saying in court, “My client obviously didn’t rob the bank, he was in middle of raping that young woman.”
I like how the publicist threw in “overseas” after mentioning Hohan was dating several men, as if it makes her whoring upscale. You are not a whore if you give yourself over and over again to filthy, uncut Europeans, but bang a couple of guys from Jersey and no one returns your calls. Am I the only one that gets the impression that Hohan is such an Uberbitch that not even her handler likes her? Either that or she is a shitty mouthpiece, who issues a statement like that? In a side note, good to see Kenny G has kept his core audience all these years. He’s big with the geriatric crowd.
lindsay is my idol
Lindsay’s rep needs to get the boot. Bad flack!!! Bad!!!
Poor Granny, keeps tryin to get that boy laid.. she’s doin the best she can but when he’s been sleeping at the Crab-Hilton and those herpetic sores are oozing even the firecrotch is gonna deny “having dinner” with him.
I’m a very heterosexual male, and between cruise and lohan, I’d go for cruise. Lohan will never surround my willie.
Kenny G??? .. the only person lamer is Macy Gray!!!
They didn’t include the entire quote!
“…Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas. Kind caring men like Rocco Siffredi and Nacho Vidal, who always call the next day after an afternoon of sodomy and wearing out the firecrotch.”
On a side note, Brandon Davis’ grandmother also said he was dating several firecrotches, like Kathy Griffin, but nobody cared.
perez hilton has angelina jolie baby pics superfish….why dont you?!
I only wish Lindsay would let me put her fire crotch out with my tongue … then use friction to re-ignite the fire-crotch with my big thick 9 1/2 inch fire hose…
Oh – yeah!!! Dreams are made of that…
#9 I live “overseas”, and I thought fire crotch just meant she was a natural red head
She needs to date a sandwich.
Don’t confuse “several men overseas”, with “several men’s semen.”
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that she’s an idiot. The grandma, I mean.
When the UN asked you to be their Goodwill Ambassador, Lindsay, that’s not quite what they meant.
Fat face’s grandma making up Blowhan stories at Kenny G’s birthday party? You SIMPLY cannot make shit like this up people. Only thing missing is a three legged crack smoking monkey.
I fell in to a burning crotch of fire
I went down, down, down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
the crotch of fire
the crotch of fire.
Dating several men….overseas. Thats interesting, when was the last time she was overseas. Could the publicist just trying to make us think that yesterdays blind item in the NYPost about that starlett who likes to get f-ked by two guys in nightclub bathrooms WASN”T about Ho-han because she is supposedly having anal with several men in the EU?!?! yeah, that will work.
Brandon’s grandma runs this big charity event called the Carousel Ball (happening soon) where they get celebrities to design ceramic plates which are then auctioned off. Apparently, after what happened with Lindsay, many of the plates were returned to her with some variation of the word “firecrotch” written on them. Way to go Brandon!
Davis’ grandmother wasn’t aware he had insulted Lohan, because back in her day a “Firecrotch” was simply two fingers of bathtub gin with a splash of grenadine, a jigger of bay rum, and a pickled onion contaminated with polio, all served by a smiling “colored” in a white suit.
There’s a fine line between love and hate…
of course, I couldn’t believe he issued her an apology to begin with. Pussy.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
#42
That’s
I’m still mystified why we’re paying $3 for a gallon of gas when we could just swipe a cotton swab across Brandon’s face.
Don’t let that guy anywhere near an open flame or the whole thing will go up.
42 – That sounds just like my sweet sixteen. And don’t you mind how we keep the help, our Noogie is like family and he’s very well-spoken.
45 – Guys with oily faces give the best head.
14 Jacq ….
it’s cause Arab guys fuck camels, and Lohan’s crotch smells like delicious camel-ass. Plus, she spits a lot when she is double-humped
The tears of Chuck Norris can cure Fire Crotch…Too bad Chuck never cries.
Overheard at Kenny G.’s birthday party…
“Wow! Did you notice that his decorator went with the whole “this looks like the inside of an elevator” theme?”
“Oh look, the ambulance finally took Brandon”s granny away.”
“Yeah, what was she screaming about?”
“I don’t know exactly. I just heard her yelling, “It’s my turn to ride the pink pony! It’s my turn to ride the pink pony!”