The grandma of Brandon Davis – the guy who called Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch – is telling her friends that Brandon Davis is now dating Lindsay Lohan. At Kenny G’s birthday party over the weekend she was overheard telling guests, “Brandon is dating Lindsay now!” A rep for Barbara confirmed her story and said that Brandon took Lindsay out to dinner last weekend, although a rep for Lohan denies everything, saying:
“It is unfortunate that Barbara Davis is desperate enough to make up a lie about Lindsay dating her grandson. Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon’s apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas.”
I’m not entirely sure replacing a small rumor she had dinner with some guy by telling everybody she’s a whore is a good idea. “My client doesn’t have dinner with billionaires! She’s far too busy sleeping with multiple foreign men for that kind of nonsense. A slut. A slut she is!”
I knoe how too spel | June 6, 2006 at 11:12 am
This kid always looks so bummed. Must be tough being a fire-crotch.
Spindoc | June 6, 2006 at 11:14 am
The sad thing is, she couldn’t even land him most likely. I mean the guy may be a tool but he used to date Mischa Barton who, although I hate her is many times hotter than Lindsey (Anybody know what this rash is?) Lohan
sita | June 6, 2006 at 11:15 am
lmao I love that the rebuttal to this is that Lohan is sleeping with too many other guys for this to be true… good one Lohan good one.
Dr.Rokter | June 6, 2006 at 11:15 am
I’m just trying to imagine what Kenny G’s birthday party is like. I bet he had the awesomest cowboy clowns.
IFuckingHateYou | June 6, 2006 at 11:17 am
Hohan is an ugly, no-talent, disease-ridden tramp.
IOn other words, the perfect girl for a scumbag like Brandon Davis. They just belong together.
tits_on_snack | June 6, 2006 at 11:17 am
I’m trying to recall what Hohan ever did that propelled her into such stardom and high celebrity status.
Herbie Reloaded? That video where she’s dressed as a princess and rolls around on the floor crying? Help me out, folks.
Agatha | June 6, 2006 at 11:23 am
Linsday Lohan’s Vagina: The World Tour
Xopher.tm | June 6, 2006 at 11:30 am
“Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas.”
Yeah, that kinda is a weird thing to say…
Just…
Yeah. Weird.
pinky_nip | June 6, 2006 at 11:32 am
@8: That’s because overseas “firecrotch” means something positive.
Besides, the filthy Europeans will fuck anything.
Xopher.tm | June 6, 2006 at 11:32 am
#6 “I’m trying to recall what Hohan ever did that propelled her into such stardom and high celebrity status.”
The only place she is a “star” or “celebrity” is on celebrity gossip sites such as this (as well as tabloids & tabTV). No one else knows who the fuck she is.
Or, frankly, cares.
Xopher.tm | June 6, 2006 at 11:33 am
MUST we be forced to look at Jack Black’s pastey-smoothe torso in the ads here, btw?
I mean, come on!
Zanna | June 6, 2006 at 11:34 am
#4 – You should come with a warning!! I just read that didn’t really laugh out loud but GUFFAWED. And that ain’t sexy. Then again, there is nothing in Framingham that really is.
hurley | June 6, 2006 at 11:39 am
when i get to be old as shit, i’m gonna spread all KINDS of rumors. that’s an awesome grandma!
Jacq | June 6, 2006 at 11:40 am
Shit, let his kooky old grandma think that. She IS the one with the money right? Tell her you married him. It might get you into the will.
Kenny G’s b-day party? WTF?
I’ve heard Arab guys like anal. That’s our Lindsay
#11 – I don’t see Jack, but that Cheyenne girl freaks me out. She looks like a cross between the girl from The Ring and Jewel.
pinky_nip | June 6, 2006 at 11:40 am
@4: There’s a lot of sax going on.
Hardcorekegeling | June 6, 2006 at 11:43 am
@13
Sounds fun, you can do anything you want and then blame it on alzheimers.
Stepheroo | June 6, 2006 at 11:45 am
Lindsay’s Schedule
Monday- Margaritas in Madrid with Manuel
Tuesday- Tequila in Tehran with Terrorist cell
Wednesday-Whiskey in Warsaw with Wilhelm
Thursday- Throw up all day
Friday- shopping (another thing she does well!)
Saturday- Need a man fix…. Singapore Slings in Soho with Steve
Sunday-Secret visit with Gyno to discuss new symptom!
What a week!
jane's eyre | June 6, 2006 at 11:46 am
I didn’t know we were exporting STD’s.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 6, 2006 at 11:48 am
Brandon took Lindsay to dinner, but unfortunately for him, crabs weren’t on the menu.
herbiefrog | June 6, 2006 at 11:53 am
#17
i got wrecked on
singapore slings
in raffles
peanuts on the floor
for those that know :)
superstar26 | June 6, 2006 at 11:54 am
Kenny G.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Dr.Rokter | June 6, 2006 at 11:55 am
#12 Why thank you. At least you’re not in Lawrence.
Somehow I imagine Brandon Davis’ grandmother as some chronically-alcoholic octagenerian, who just got out of another mini rehab stint where she way seeing strawberry cheesecake on the hospital walls for her three days without her Tanqueray. She probably thinks Brandon is still 13, and bursts capilaries in the oily fatback on his face when she locks her withered old claw on it to squeeze his cheeks.
I bet she puked on Kenny G’s sax and made him cry, too.
ebayfan414 | June 6, 2006 at 11:56 am
lmao @ the agent…that’s kind of like a lawyer saying in court, “My client obviously didn’t rob the bank, he was in middle of raping that young woman.”
UNWASHEDMASSES | June 6, 2006 at 12:02 pm
I like how the publicist threw in “overseas” after mentioning Hohan was dating several men, as if it makes her whoring upscale. You are not a whore if you give yourself over and over again to filthy, uncut Europeans, but bang a couple of guys from Jersey and no one returns your calls. Am I the only one that gets the impression that Hohan is such an Uberbitch that not even her handler likes her? Either that or she is a shitty mouthpiece, who issues a statement like that? In a side note, good to see Kenny G has kept his core audience all these years. He’s big with the geriatric crowd.
you suck | June 6, 2006 at 12:07 pm
lindsay is my idol
Giggles | June 6, 2006 at 12:08 pm
Lindsay’s rep needs to get the boot. Bad flack!!! Bad!!!
honey | June 6, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Poor Granny, keeps tryin to get that boy laid.. she’s doin the best she can but when he’s been sleeping at the Crab-Hilton and those herpetic sores are oozing even the firecrotch is gonna deny “having dinner” with him.
skankyskank | June 6, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I’m a very heterosexual male, and between cruise and lohan, I’d go for cruise. Lohan will never surround my willie.
VanillaSalTyBaLLs | June 6, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Kenny G??? .. the only person lamer is Macy Gray!!!
jackspratling | June 6, 2006 at 12:26 pm
They didn’t include the entire quote!
“…Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas. Kind caring men like Rocco Siffredi and Nacho Vidal, who always call the next day after an afternoon of sodomy and wearing out the firecrotch.”
On a side note, Brandon Davis’ grandmother also said he was dating several firecrotches, like Kathy Griffin, but nobody cared.
katie | June 6, 2006 at 12:26 pm
perez hilton has angelina jolie baby pics superfish….why dont you?!
shankyouverymuch | June 6, 2006 at 12:30 pm
I only wish Lindsay would let me put her fire crotch out with my tongue … then use friction to re-ignite the fire-crotch with my big thick 9 1/2 inch fire hose…
Oh – yeah!!! Dreams are made of that…
Flabby | June 6, 2006 at 12:50 pm
#9 I live “overseas”, and I thought fire crotch just meant she was a natural red head
RichPort | June 6, 2006 at 12:58 pm
She needs to date a sandwich.
PapaHotNuts | June 6, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Don’t confuse “several men overseas”, with “several men’s semen.”
Iambananas | June 6, 2006 at 1:04 pm
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that she’s an idiot. The grandma, I mean.
Lala | June 6, 2006 at 1:06 pm
When the UN asked you to be their Goodwill Ambassador, Lindsay, that’s not quite what they meant.
HughJorganthethird | June 6, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Fat face’s grandma making up Blowhan stories at Kenny G’s birthday party? You SIMPLY cannot make shit like this up people. Only thing missing is a three legged crack smoking monkey.
gas_up_the_hrududu | June 6, 2006 at 1:21 pm
I fell in to a burning crotch of fire
I went down, down, down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
the crotch of fire
the crotch of fire.
Spindoc | June 6, 2006 at 1:27 pm
Dating several men….overseas. Thats interesting, when was the last time she was overseas. Could the publicist just trying to make us think that yesterdays blind item in the NYPost about that starlett who likes to get f-ked by two guys in nightclub bathrooms WASN”T about Ho-han because she is supposedly having anal with several men in the EU?!?! yeah, that will work.
polypam | June 6, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Brandon’s grandma runs this big charity event called the Carousel Ball (happening soon) where they get celebrities to design ceramic plates which are then auctioned off. Apparently, after what happened with Lindsay, many of the plates were returned to her with some variation of the word “firecrotch” written on them. Way to go Brandon!
Dr.Rokter | June 6, 2006 at 1:38 pm
Davis’ grandmother wasn’t aware he had insulted Lohan, because back in her day a “Firecrotch” was simply two fingers of bathtub gin with a splash of grenadine, a jigger of bay rum, and a pickled onion contaminated with polio, all served by a smiling “colored” in a white suit.
sharkbite | June 6, 2006 at 1:38 pm
There’s a fine line between love and hate…
of course, I couldn’t believe he issued her an apology to begin with. Pussy.
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
shankyouverymuch | June 6, 2006 at 1:44 pm
#42
That’s
Spacedog | June 6, 2006 at 1:45 pm
I’m still mystified why we’re paying $3 for a gallon of gas when we could just swipe a cotton swab across Brandon’s face.
Don’t let that guy anywhere near an open flame or the whole thing will go up.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 6, 2006 at 1:45 pm
42 – That sounds just like my sweet sixteen. And don’t you mind how we keep the help, our Noogie is like family and he’s very well-spoken.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 6, 2006 at 1:46 pm
45 – Guys with oily faces give the best head.
TrannyGranny | June 6, 2006 at 1:49 pm
14 Jacq ….
it’s cause Arab guys fuck camels, and Lohan’s crotch smells like delicious camel-ass. Plus, she spits a lot when she is double-humped
Stepheroo | June 6, 2006 at 2:02 pm
The tears of Chuck Norris can cure Fire Crotch…Too bad Chuck never cries.
Stepheroo | June 6, 2006 at 2:06 pm
Overheard at Kenny G.’s birthday party…
“Wow! Did you notice that his decorator went with the whole “this looks like the inside of an elevator” theme?”
“Oh look, the ambulance finally took Brandon”s granny away.”
“Yeah, what was she screaming about?”
“I don’t know exactly. I just heard her yelling, “It’s my turn to ride the pink pony! It’s my turn to ride the pink pony!”