Brandi Glanville Said Black People Can’t Swim

December 10th, 2013 // 70 Comments
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On the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, a pre-recorded, scripted, and completely edited reality show, Brandi Glanville made a racist comment to Joyce Giraud which I’m sure was entirely off-the-cuff and not at all orchestrated to create exactly the “controversy” you’re reading about right now. E! News reports:

During a girls weekend in Palm Springs, the 40-year-old mom of two stripped down to a skimpy bikini and begged host Joyce Giraud to get in the pool. “Please get in the water,” she pleaded.
“I really don’t want to get in the pool,” said Giraud, 38, who remained in her chaise lounge. Glanville persisted, and eventually the new cast member admitted, “I can’t swim.”
You’re a black person,” Glanville said with a laugh, horrifying Giraud and fellow costars Yolanda Foster, Carlton Gebbia, Kyle Richards, Kim Richards and Lisa Vanderpump. “All my black friends can’t swim,” she continued. “Is that bad?”

Brandi has since “apologized” by basically saying she’s too awesome for TV:

The Drinking & Tweeting author apologized for her comments later that night when she called up Andy Cohen on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live. “I know what I said was definitely inappropriate, but I say a lot of inappropriate things. It was definitely not sensitive and I apologize to anyone I offended. But to be honest with you, Andy, my friends joke with each other this way and they’re all different backgrounds. So, I’m sorry and I guess you’re not ready for the real Brandi? Should I censor myself?”

In related news, LeAnn Rimes has started a southern plantation complete with field and house slaves. She aims to produce a line of affordable cotton T’s built for today’s fake-chested, anorexic woman. “Tittybonehuggers,” is a name being tossed around.

Photos: Glen McCurtayne/Coleman-Rayner

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  1. Deacon Jones

    The funny thing about stereotypes is that they’re mostly true.

    That’s what makes it funny. That’s what makes most jokes funny, truth behind jest.

  2. Brandi Glanville Bikini Gerard Butler
    Butt Plugger
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch needs to get on a squat program at the gym.

  3. Hugh G. Rection

    Anybody can swim if they have floatation devices like she has.

  4. Water is so overrated.

  5. JC

    Orchestrated? Maybe. Isn’t it more likely that everyone on the Housewife shows–and most reality show–are just bad people, and if you edited out all the footage of them being assholes, you’d have no show left?

  6. Brandi Glanville Bikini Gerard Butler
    nasty surprise
    Commented on this photo:

    if you like those bolt-ons

  7. kimmykimkim

    Well, I didn’t read this whole thing because, Brandi Glanville, but I feel it’s still safe to say that this cunt needs a good ol’fashioned gang rape. By black dudes.

    • Damn, Kimmy. That’s harsh.

      • kimmykimkim

        Oh, Don, I didn’t know it was Take Easy on the Over-Privileged Housewives Day. Should I have said gang banged instead? That’s a little less harsh, no? But the thing is even if this woman wanted an old fashion multiple black man love making session, I don’t think any of the black men would be interested because this chick has the body of a praying mantis. A starving, chicken skinned, praying mantis. That’s some terrifying shit right there.

      • Word.

        I don’t know what “word” means but I hear the youngsters saying that so I thought I would too.

    • Mitch

      Typical negro mentality.

      Besides, most black people can’t swim. Most white people can’t dance. Most asians aren’t marathon runners. Stereotypes exist for a reason, they are based in fact.

      Now go play on the highway.

      • kimmykimkim

        Black people can indeed swim. My boyfriend can swim. Unless of course he did his hair for the day and then swimming can just fuck off. And he’s told me that black girls don’t like getting their hair wet, but hey, neither did my white grandma so that’s neither here nor there. I had no idea though that Asians didn’t run marathons. But I DO know they will stand entirely too close to you in line. That’s definitely an Asian thing.

      • They also can’t pronounce Ls. That’s a fact. They’re missing a bone in their jaw that allows it.

        I’m a biologist that studies chinamen.

      • Dude, chinamen is not the prefered nomenclature.

      • OK…chinapeople. Sorry I was being sexist.

      • I heard Asian have sideways vaginas…although I guess to them they’d have normal vaginas and all the rest are sideways.

      • I’ve seen enough Japanese porn to know that sideways vagina shit is a lie.

      • kimmy, stop rubbing our noses in how much you’re in love.

      • Convex

        Agreed, Mitch. I’ll worry about upsetting the negroes when they return the favor and stop being racists themselves. Slavery ended 148 years ago; it’s time to move on.

      • You might have better luck not upsetting the negroes, if you stopped using the term “negroes”.

      • Mitch

        Negroes get upset at everything so I’m not really concerned if they don’t like my choice of adjective.

        I’m bothered by their wholesale use of violence to entertain themselves. That shit has got to stop if they want to be taken seriously as members of the human race.

      • Mitch

        No kidding, how long does it take to get your shit together.

        Something they conveniently forget is that it was BLACK arabs who originally sold them into slavery and that continues for hundreds of years until the WHITE man put an end to it.

        The should be showing their appreciation instead of trying to knock us out when we’re just walking down the street minding out own business. But hey, that’s just me.

    • Now, that’s racist right there – discriminating against a group of people based solely on their race or ethnicity. Gang rape by a bunch of black dudes, indeed – hell, I wager if you give Mexicans a shot, they could do the job in half the time and for half the price.

    • D-chi

      Um, I’d shy away from gender-based violence and threats of rape. That’s not very progressive, not to mention really messed up.

      • Convex

        It’s a typical black reaction, though. Don’t debate something intelligently, resort to mindless violence. Crime statistics back that up; it’s irrelevant whether the stats reflect black-on-white crime or black-on-black crime, the fact is that too many blacks act like thugs. So don’t be surprised by the ignorant threats of rape coming from a black guy.

      • kimmykimkim

        Yeah, because I was being super serious. < that's sarcasm, ok? Just so we're clear.

      • Convex clearly has an agenda to push here. “Black people are naturally violent” Thanks. Got it. Don’t you have a klan meeting to go to?

      • pink much?

        “That’s not very progressive”

        Contemporary Progressives are the same bunch that are responsable for the ACA/Obama Care bullshit that have caused most American’s to either loose their current insurance or have their premiums go through the roof.

    • Mike Walker

      Sometimes its hard to tell the anti-racist posts from the racist posts.

  8. She didn’t say black people can’t swim, she said all her black friends can’t swim. If that’s true, it’s not so much racist as a factual observation. False drama abounds.

  9. Michael Phelps

    … but they can smoke weed.
    Isn’t that enough?

  10. If black people could swim we wouldn’t know who Micheal Phelps is.

  11. Everybody knows that black people can’t swim, love watermelons and talk during the whole f* movie ;) xD

    • I had heard that movie thing before but never seen it happen in real life. Then I saw “Booty Call” in a theater in St. Louis. Yep. Yelling at the screen the whole movie.

      • catapostrophe

        Did they kick you out?

      • ElBurrito

        “Booty Call” in St. Louis? Black people there? Yeah right.

      • I've Got The Answer Fellas!

        I live in the lou. Don’t forget the cell phones. Cell phone to their ear when they’re eating, sleeping, or taking a shit. Plus why in the fuck do they have to constantly yell into them, letting everyone know within a three mile radius what a bitch “Aunty” is, or how their baby daddy ain’t buying them diapers. I mean, for fuck sakes, turn the fucking volume up if you have to constantly scream. You have to be fucking insane to attend a movie theatre within the city. Your best bet is driving 18 miles out to Chesterfield, and even then you’ll get laquisha yelling at her baby daddy with ther cell phone during the whole…….fucking……movie.

  12. Brandi Glanville Bikini Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    I could do a few things with her to pass some time.

  13. I would say that it is true that most black people can’t swim, but that is probably more due to socio-economics than anything else. I would not necessarily consider it a slight or anything. If you don’t have access to water or a pool or the money to get swimming lessons and your family did not know how to swim either then it is going to be pretty hard to learn how to swim.

    • schmidtler

      ???? Socioeconomic horseshit? What do you need to learn to swim, besides water, which comprises two thirds of the fucking planet? Now if you had said yachting or polo, ok, but swimming?

      • diversity hire

        Lakes, rivers and oceans are notoriously racist. Check your privilege

      • j-sin

        Yeah, cuz there are plenty of those when you lie in an inner city slum. Just love that white privilege bubble.

      • Ahahaha, schmidtler, you old n-word-lover you. (It’s not the people he loves, just the word.)

        There’s actually a documented reason why African-Americans don’t swim that much—and yes, it is socioeconomic: segregation kept African-Americans out of many public pools and beaches for years. And yes, that’s been over for a while now, but the generations who were shut out of the water never passed on the knowledge or custom of swimming to their kids. In fact, lack of knowledge about swimming often develops into outright fear of the water.

        So maybe do a little research before you open your big yap, schmidtler? Nahhhhh, you just keep on being you.

      • diversity hire

        Socioeconomic fear of water must be addressed

  14. Roundhouse Kick

    When people can no longer laugh at each other, then you know all this stupid PC bullshit has gone too far.

  15. Brandi Glanville Bikini Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    Know who else said black people can’t swim? Hitler. And then Jesse Jackson won the gold medal at the Berlin Olympics in 1976.

    So what does that prove? Mostly, that I’m not good with history.

  16. Reggie

    Sorry, that argument doesn’t hold water [pun intended]
    Most large cities have public pools available for their community, and swimming lessons are usually very reasonable.

    It’s just that as a group African-Americans have chosen not to want to learn to swim. Is this is a racist comment? Speak with any Parks & Rec. director or manager that work in the inner city, many of whom are black, and they will sadly confirm that most of those they serve have no desire to learn to swim.

  17. Randy

    Black people can’t swim, she’s right, suck it black people!

  18. Patricia D.

    Her black friends can’t swim? Of course, one has only to observe the value of their friendships by those most notable talents, skills, and physical attributes deemed worthy enough to be allotted the honor of being one’s “friend.” I am a black woman whose entire family loves the water and swimming. I do not share their enthusiasm in this beautiful form of expression. I love expressing myself in dance and they exhibit their admiration for my skill of expression. A very wise person once asked me, “of all the things in the world to know (knowledge of) what percentage of it do you know? As I have pondered since that time the answer is an astounding .00000000000000000000001 .

  19. Jenn

    Black people can swim, the ones I know can, anyway. That one chick probably ever learned because she didn’t want to get her chemically straightened hair wet.

  20. I've Got The Answer Fellas!

    Duh. Anyone with an ounce of a scientific background already knew that fact. It’s the extra bone in their foot that prevents them from maintaining bouyancy. Science good!

  21. Brandi Glanville Bikini Gerard Butler
    Commented on this photo:

    Face BAD! Body GOOD!

  22. nicefrenchgurl

    The only reason why Black people cannot swim is because swimming-pools were segregated and black kids were not taught how to swim. There’s a high rated of black kids who drawn every hear, and black athletes are trying to raise awareness and break the stereotypes

  23. In my day, you had to be general manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers to make racist statements about blacks and swimming on television. But today, anyone can do it. Goddamn reality TV.

  24. She is smoking hot but has to be psycologically damaged to know she was dumped for Lee Ann Rimes. Probably sucks in bed.

    All those Housewives are racist but its the white ones that still cant get away with it. Im sure if she had a job, she would lose it.

  25. lk

    “Tittybonehuggers” hilarity!

  26. guest

    This is dumb, 1/2 my black friends can’t swim because their muscle density is so freeking bad ass they sink like a rock. Guess what, most of the hard core white body builders can’t swim either. the great apes with their incredible muscle mass can’t swim either.

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