“Does this Crow person enjoy polo? Because I like polo.”
After Brandon Lee died filming the original Crow, every single sequel sucked to the point that the last one went straight to video and somehow starred Edward Furlong. So naturally Hollywood wants to remake the first one to capture all that magic money and are already off to a tremendous start by casting Bradley Cooper in the iconic role of Eric Draven because apparently finding Brandon and his dad’s graves and pissing on them was too far of a walk. Via The Hollywood Reporter:
In the adaptation of the gritty black-and-white indie comic by artist James O’Barr, Cooper will play a rock musician who is murdered while trying to save his fiancée from thugs. He is resurrected by supernatural forces and seeks revenge. The role was originally played by Brandon Lee, who was killed by a freak accident during production in 1993.
Relativity is flying fast with Crow, with Fresnadillo only officially boarding the project a week ago. The Spanish director of 28 Weeks Later is said to have met with Cooper in Spain recently, where the two hit it off and shared a vision for the character and the film. Relativity would not confirm the talks but sources say Cooper, currently in theaters in Relativity’s hit thriller Limitless, is keen to board the project.
STUDIO EXEC #1: Going down the list of recognizable brands to quickly flip into movies, and apparently it’s time to remake The Crow.
STUDIO EXEC #2: Wow. Okay. But who could possibly play the Brandon Lee part?
STUDIO EXEC #1: Hmm… What about Bradley Cooper?
STUDIO EXEC #2: Why him?
STUDIO EXEC #1: Their names both start with “Bra?”
STUDIO EXEC #2: Works for me. GREEN LIGHT.
Photos: Getty
To be fair he has had a lot of experience with death, he called the hospital 12 times because he thought Renee Zellweger was dead. Turned out she was just trying to focus on something in the distance.
That’s a long way to go for a joke. Tighten it up next time.
I could have said 911 instead of hospital, but I don’t see how I could tighten it up anymore.
Maybe you would prefer my other post:
SHE HAS SQUINTY EYES AND HE HAS A LAZY EYE LOLOLOLOLOL
I lol’d.
+1 Internets
Huh, I always pictured him more a “Tom Servo”.
Dude, he ain’t even fit to be a Bobo.
Oh so now he’s stealing Zell’ s parts. Im starting to dislike that guy.
Actually the walk to Brandon and his dad’s graves are a friggin hike. Hendrix was a lot easier to find.
Yeah, walking through a cemetery is a total fucking HIKE. Dipshit. Have you even been? Brandon and Bruce Lee’s graves are incredibly easy to find.
well i guess it depends where you parked. luckily there’s a bench there
Um, their graves were really easy to find and I can’t use maps worth shit….
This dude always looks like has has some form of eyeliner on anyways so the makeup won’t be much of a stretch. Also, this guy sucks balls.
What a disgusting god damned travesty. This is one movie that does NOT need to be re-made. It was and still is perfection. What, are they going to replace the cast with a bunch of “hip, tattooed 20 year olds”? Maybe they can get Taylor Momfuck and Justin Bieber to be in it…yeah Bieber for the roll of “T-Bird.” Shithead laBeuftec will play “Top Dollar.” And I’m sure these braindead execs are sizing up Lindsay Cokehead Lohan for a roll because she was so hardcore-yo in “Mean Girls”.
The terrorists don’t “hate us for our freedoms,” they hate us because Hollywood keeps making these god damned shitty and un-necessary remakes. I’m sure the new “Crow” will have it’s full quota of iPhone and Blackberry product shots.
I mean what’s next? Would they dare “re-imagine” Enter the Dragon? Oh I can see it now…it will be a big MMA tournament full of young, tattooed 20-year-old “fighters” rolling around on the ground and fist-pumping about how hardcore their BJJ (blow-job-job) is. And this time Mr. Han will be black and played by Samuel “Motherfucking” Jackson. No wait, they’ve already lined him up to play the Shogun of Harlem in the equally un-needed remake of “The Last Dragon.”
FUCK HOLLYWOOD
amen, why the fuck do we need total recall made. what fucking braindead imagination
Because the execs know that most of us will complain about it, but then go see the movie anyway.
It is a sad state of affairs. A very sad state indeed.
The 1st one is perfection in your mind maybe.
It was a badley adapted film that hardley resembled the comic. It exaggerated this personal relationship with Sarah that made the Crow look all sweet when she was a 2 page character. The same ting with Top Dollar who was a white trash, Redneck biker types that was dead the next page after he was introduced.
Sorry I have a soft place for Brandon, and the film for what they were, but the comic holds a MUCH, MUCH bigger place.
People need to stop holding Brandon above this story. He loved the comic, and wanted the movie to be closer to it, and was frustrated at times with that. He wouldnt want himself put on a pedastool above the story.
I agree this casting makes no sense, but the origional was NO where near perfection. It was a marketing tool for 90′s grunge, and mainstream alternative lemmings with no real understanding of true underground comics, or music.
The comic was perfection
if they want it to be true to the original, then b cooper needs to die during filming. i think that is something we can all agree would make this remake worth it.
I recently read about rumors of a “Blade Runner” remake, just to ratchet the outrageous level of regurgitated Hollywood suck even higher. It will probably star Seth Rogen as Deckard, Katherine Heigl as Pris, and Russell Brand as Roy. Hell, why not throw in Katy Perry as Tyrell’s niece. (Tyrell will be played by Will Ferrell, of course.)
Geeze everyone stop getting so upset, especially if you hate Bradley Cooper. After Lee’s death, it’s been widely accepted that this movie franchise is cursed. Just sit back and wait for something awful to happen to Bradley Cooper. Fish, you can start typing up that obit and coming up with “insensitive” jokes about his demise any time now.
I’m sorry. I want to be open minded, but this nebbish cannot successfully play a vengeful resurrected rocker with supernatural powers.
This man was meant to play an accountant, or a lawyer, or a shoe saleman, or an alcoholic country music singer.
It’s almost as bad as casting a Jersey Shore alumni.
Hey, at least it’s not Will Smith or one of his spawn in the title role.
Amen
You should leave a good movie alone. Bradley Cooper is a douche.
100% agree…the ONLY good acting Cooper ever did was being that @sshole in the Wedding Crasher; which wasn’t a real stretch for him. He’s over hyped with no skills to speak of. I think his only skills is knowing how to Lewinsky producers into hiring him.
pressed khakis, a smarmy douche-face and zero charisma. he must give a mind altering blow job.
This is great.
Who’s playing the villain, Martin Lawrence?
donald (duck)-trump for president?
……..YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ENOUGH MISERY YET?
Seriously, really? So I realize that Hollywood has apparently lost it’s creativity and now must remake old movies “better” by adding in some cool special effects, but they really need to leave this one alone…..
Instead of remaking it…why don’t they just make a good fucking sequel. Please….don’t remake The Crow and tarnish it…
I agree this casting makes no sense, but the origional was NO where near perfection. They butchered the storyline, and made it into a marketing tool for 90’s grunge, and mainstream alternative lemmings with no real understanding of true underground comics, or music. The lame relationship with Sarah that was never part of the comics, makin a 2 page character like Top Dollar into some gothy uber villian. Then making Eric into some lame rocker, playing cheesey guitar on the roof tops, uhg!
Eric was an unstoppable killing machine of revenge that preserved his body with heroin, not some poor guy that was vunerable like the 1st movie made him out to be. No one should have touched him that entire film. Brandon was it’s saving grace.
The comic was perfection
Pretty soon they’ll be remaking movies that came out last year.
He’s great on TLC’s What not to wear!
And now we wait for the announcement of the remake of Malcolm X staring Jonah Hill.
ghey. i hate it.
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
so hot
There is and will be only one Eric Draven.. and is Brandon Lee. Let that movie alone, and remake other fucking movie.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
It can’t rain khakis all the time.
what a douche!