Bradley Cooper Might Be The New Indiana Jones

Now that Disney owns the right to Indiana Jones, it’s time to milk the fuck out of this puppy except there are two small problems: 1. Harrison Ford could literally die at any second. And 2. Shia LaBeouf has evolved into a non-famous fart-sniffing entity of such pure pretentiousness that it gave James Franco a boner. Which brings us to Bradley Cooper who’s already in-house with Disney as the voice of Rocket Raccoon, a raccoon with a goddamn machine gun, and now possibly the new Indiana Jones, so wow, banging Victor Garber is really paying off right now. Not counting the Oscar nom. That was cool, I guess. Via Latino Review:

Our ever reliable sources (same folks who told us about Rocket Raccoon) are informing us that while Harrison Ford might still play Indiana Jones in the next film of the franchise, the window of making that happen is getting smaller and smaller.
There is a date and if Indiana Jones 5 is not moving forward by then, the studios are 100% prepared to recast a younger Dr. Jones and ready up a new trilogy.
Let’s be realistic, Harrison is not the box office draw he once was and he is only getting older.
Don’t think of it as a reboot but just recasting the same way the James Bond (Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig) movies have been doing for the better part of five decades.
And who just might be one of the actors that the studio is looking at ? The word is that they are looking at several but Bradley Cooper is at the top of the list.

Of course, another approach would be to come up with an original movie concept not based on a preexisting property but you know what that doesn’t get you? Cocaine. Mountains and mountains of cocaine. I’d be shot in the street if I said that within a 100 miles of Hollywood if not torn limb from limb by carnivorous studio execs, their black beady eyes glazed over with hunger. If you listen closely, you can probably hear them now wailing into the moonlight. “CoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOoooke.”

Photo: Columbia Pictures