Brad Pitt has apparently told Angelina Jolie that they get married, or he’s giving her the ol’ Jennifer Aniston treatment. OK! Magazine reports:
Why is Brad putting his foot down? While his Oscar-winning baby mama frantically pursues film and humanitarian work, he’s essentially been a single dad — and he’s “stressed out,” a friend of Brad tells OK!.
Both Brad and Angie — now holed up at NYC’s posh Waldorf Astoria hotel while she films the spy thriller Salt — are even too fried for sex. “Their relationship is so out of kilter, he believes marriage is the only thing that will bring it back around.”
Ha ha. Very funny, OK! Magazine. Let me tell you how I knew how this was an April Fool’s joke: 1. No man wants to get married. That’s why God made bridal gowns look like princess dresses. (Nice one. Jerk.) 2. Marriage doesn’t improve one’s sex life. No, really, you could’ve said “Brad wants to marry Angelina in the hopes of finding a real live dinosaur together,” and it would’ve sounded more believable. I’d probably even send them a gift.
Is Brad Pitty finally going against her? He wants only more kids after their marriage!
@51 Strong point!
Can someone please bitch slap 50,51,52 back into the stone age!!!
He should handcuff her and put some duct tape on her mouth! And drive her to a drive-through wedding chapel in Las Vegas! Takes 5 minutes!
Why get married when you can have sex, kids and all else without it? Jolie’s marriage history isn’t so great either, so why go there with her? Keep it as is, ride it til it;s rough, then bail. 3 years or less. Jolie can;t handle it any longer than that.
HAH! Brad will be ditching her soon, because she’s just like every other woman who’s had kids–lower libido. No more screwing in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in front of the TV, it’s now “but baby…you haven’t let me between your legs in over two weeks…wasup, yo? What happened since I started skanking you with Jen around? You wanted it all the time, now you’re always making excuses. Baby, a man’s got needs. I get tired of sneaking a Fistina when you aren’t around. C’mon, how about a quick hand job for old time’s sake??”
@53 – How about we slap 52 since it’s obviously the same person as 52 & 51.
I am sure it is really stressful to be a father with a staff of 20 at you mansion
#49 – Hey eggplant, howzabout you get my keys out of my pocket for me. Dat’s my fuckin’ car mooly. I’m so fat my arms are too short to reach my pockets. Thanks darkie.
Brad got old. And suffers from the fat-face-on-older-man syndrome.
#46 I am highly indignant and grossly insulted that you chose to issue a generalized, rather than a personal, invitation to a select gathering in this discourteous and highly cavalier manner.
Furthermore, I feel you deliberately left off the zip code, further demeaning the town in question.
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! #62!!!
#62 It has come to our attention that in your no-doubt well-meaning yet amateur attempt to promote our annual festival, you have slighted us by neglecting to provide an adequate location, or, indeed, proper GPS coordinates. We are located next to High Dudgeon, directly south of Pique.
And we consider it a gross personal insult that you chose to leave off this very pertinent information.
#44 How dare you imply that our trains run late? The train to Pleasantville is ALWAYS on time and what’s more, it invariably has a very cheery attitude! We have done nothing to be the target of such idle calumny and you should know that you have now Officially Ruined Our Day.
I thought Brad stated that he wouldn’t get married until gay marriage was legal…I actually respected him on this stance, but the “more kids” thing is stupid – he knows he shacked up with the Original OctoMom…..there’s no escaping Angie’s tentacles. A better movie than Oceans 11, 12 or 13 would be if George Clooney helped his buddy escape from this nutjob – a beautiful nutjob, but a nut none the less.
I’m DYIN’! “How dare you imply……”
Did anyone REALLY believe they were going to live happily ever after??? With all of Angies rebounds and Brad having more than one “true love?” Funny how everyone forgot about Gwenyth Paltrow ‘his angel.”
“Bravo Kathy Griffin bikini body at 48″ ??????
Kathy Griffin is the LAST person I would show to give an example of ageing well. She does not look 48, she looks more like 58, and her face looks even older, it is covered with wrinkles. I am still traumatized by pics I saw here on Superficial months ago, of this ugly redhead.
All women here wear bikinis, there is nothing special with wearing one at 48.
nice april fools day joke but in realty they will not get married until all people get marred (ie gays) witch will not happen
#69 Very nice, Matthew. You win the “No Child Left Behind” Award.
FYI, your ride left without you.
Nobody dumps Angelina, she does the dumping. She is a sex queen and once you have sex with her you are hooked and under her spell. She is that good. If Angelina wants to adopt 15 more babies Brad will be all for it as long as he gets his dick sucked and gets to fuck….end of story.
You know the sad part about all of this is that they will eventually break up and those kids will be the ones who suffer the most.
Shanna Moakler just got dumped by Travis Barker. Shanna is about as mentally stable as Angelina Jolie, so that means Brad and Shanna should hook up and adopt 25 more kids.
http://hollywoodspotlite.com/news/2009/04/01/did-shanna-cheat-moakler-travis-barker-split/
I can’t believe they broke up over Gerard Butler!
Can’t believe Brad is marrying OCTO MOM
Are you sure Angelina didn’t adopt Brad as one of the kids?
…………………………FAGGOTS WANT TO MARRY?
(with a woman?)
damn those woman marrying homos. Trying to have all that sex with women. grrr
# 71 – And how exactly would you know that she is a sex queen? Just because she is unbelievably beautiful doesn’t automatically mean that she is great in bed. She could be a cold frigid bitch in bed for all you know. And she might suck at blowjobs, too, and I do not mean that literally.
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Bleh. Brad is a sorry, spineless, whipped sack of compost, further weakened by chronic sleep deprivation, and the Voight bitch is nothing but tits and holes and ruthless ambition. They must be so sick of each other by now, but the PR machine grinds on! Let’s hope they at least have enough sense to stop dragging helpless kids into their chaotic “home.” The six kids they already have are going to make Lindsay Lohan look positively saintly when they get old enough to rebel. And rebel they WILL.
It is about time. Brad needed to step up and make her a honest women .
It is about time. Brad needed to step up and make her a honest women .
Much like Madonna her true colors are shining through.
I don’t understand why she is still working when she has a herd of kids.
With that many kids there is no way one could put aside quality time with all of them and continue the hectic schedule of an actor.
At some point a decision should have been made, pre-set x amount of kids and it’s time to be a real Mom.
Not a publicity hounding good doer for the purpose of getting even the press. If she loved these kids she would want to be able to spend time with them.
Brad is a moron if he thinks marriage actually fixes problems.
April Fool’s alright but OMG he’s just bloody f*ucking stupid and egotistical. Get your balls back, Brad, and dump the hag. Once a backdoor cu*nt always a back door cu*nt. Hmm, no different from you, once a cheater always a cheater. These two egotistical maniacs don’t know the meaning of selfless acts such as charity and goodwill.
Bitch puhleeze,
This has to be a lame April’s fools day joke,marry what, the man saw what happened to lil joe-bob or whatever his name was, bitch is bat shit crazy, that fool is a cautionary tale about being careful what you wish for, I am laughing my head off, he wanted kids, he sure got them, octomum has nothing on mad angie,what the idiot boyfriend doesn’t seem to get is that bipolar wackjobs mean what they say only for that particular phase of the moon, first she didnt want any biological kids, now she has three, then she was gonna quit working , now she reportedly is working 15 hour days and has a slew of movies lined up, Heaven help those kids if the voices in her head tell her to get rid of them, he’ll probably wake up to a tragic surprise,he needs to get a nanny per child, oh I forgot nutty angie is worried he’ll be waving the magic wand in the wrong direction again. They totally deserve each other, the fear of child support PLUS alimony alone will keep him in the unhappily unwedded state until angelina the mad decides to become a celibate buddhist nun