Brad Pitt’s wedding ultimatum

The Superficial / April 1, 2009

Brad Pitt has apparently told Angelina Jolie that they get married, or he’s giving her the ol’ Jennifer Aniston treatment. OK! Magazine reports:

Why is Brad putting his foot down? While his Oscar-winning baby mama frantically pursues film and humanitarian work, he’s essentially been a single dad — and he’s “stressed out,” a friend of Brad tells OK!.
Both Brad and Angie — now holed up at NYC’s posh Waldorf Astoria hotel while she films the spy thriller Salt — are even too fried for sex. “Their relationship is so out of kilter, he believes marriage is the only thing that will bring it back around.”

Ha ha. Very funny, OK! Magazine. Let me tell you how I knew how this was an April Fool’s joke: 1. No man wants to get married. That’s why God made bridal gowns look like princess dresses. (Nice one. Jerk.) 2. Marriage doesn’t improve one’s sex life. No, really, you could’ve said “Brad wants to marry Angelina in the hopes of finding a real live dinosaur together,” and it would’ve sounded more believable. I’d probably even send them a gift.