Brad Pitt’s barn door’s open (Sorry, ladies, no cow coming out.)

January 22nd, 2009 // 63 Comments

Brad Pitt gave the crowd his best suave, debonair looks at the Paris premiere of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Except he left his fly unzipped and was completely oblivious to the fact. Nothing like the cold, hard slap of reality that even Brad Pitt gets old:

“That’s right, Brad, give ‘em the look. BAM! That was the panty dropper. This is going so well. So well. You’re Brad Pitt. Talented. Dashing. Oddly drafty in the groin area, but do not look down. DO NOT LOOK DOWN. It’s nothing. Here we go: Tender, yet let’s do it on my Ferrari, eyes. KABOOM! I think that one just impregnated a chick. Wait, it’s Angie. Goddammit. Fortunately, no one can see the crying happening in my pants right now. Oh, no, wait. What the hell?!”

EDIT: To put things this fly incident in perspective, I added pics of Brad just days ago smuggling booze out of two separate events in Berlin. Which actually has me convinced he’s Jesus returned to Earth. Your ways are right and good, O Lord!


  1. Styxchix


  2. BEAM

    What’s with the goofy mustache?

  3. p0nk

    AJ keeps his balls in her purse.

  4. He looks like a French douche… oops… sorry to be redundant…

  5. I know

    Maybe Pete Wentz gave him a lucky BJ before he took the stage?

  6. #3 – His Hollies are pursed..?

  7. poor brad

    Awe Mommy Angie forgot to do up your zipper? Poor kid he’s just useless without his mommy, can’t even tie his shoewaces and velcrow still remains a total mystery to him. Still i do think that it’s kind that Angie was ageist iin her adopting and people always complain that she didn’t adopt any US children, hello dumfucks she adopted a retarded almost 50 year old who is mentaly only 3 straight from America, give her a little credit, she’s pretty patriotic. I mean Imagine have to clean this big kids diapers and get him to go to bed and then when he throws a tantrum it’s probably downright scary.

  8. Sam

    Apparently he sat next to John Travolta and Tom Cruise. Both of them had bumps on their heads afterward.

  9. ew

    He has said in an interview that he is hung like a hamster so it may be there, you’ll just have to enlarge the pic about 1000%. Anyway who wants to see his nasty little lifeless dick that has been sucked of all of it’s wandering joy by a crazed baby maker.

  10. Cute as a button

    Hey Brad, you idiot – you should have worn your button fly jeans to the premiere – get it??? see how I did that ???? bada bing

    “button fly” & he’s at the Benjamin Button premiere…gawd, I should get an award or something really awesome like a snow cone!!!

  11. Yahoo!

    He looks like a f**king idiot. Angelina has a better jaw than him even.

  12. ew

    LOL@ #8! Thanks for that.

  13. moi

    The cheese eating surrender monkey look?

  14. kingofbeer

    dude, lose the stash already, looks ridiculous! and zip up your damn pants. jeez you’re a mess these days….

  15. Sara Silverwoman & Jimmy Kissamale

    @ #7

    What are you trying to do??? Get into the Writers Guild???

    It’s called “comment” section – not the essay submission section

  16. JJ

    What’s with the sleazy stash and newsboy cap? It’s as if he doesn’t want to leverage his good looks.

  17. AndrewMacCloud

    He looks like Benjamin without a zipper Button

  18. I read years ago he has a very small penis. Just saying.

  19. atotalcad

    The ‘stash is the character, Lt. Aldo Raine in Tarantino’s remake of “Inglourious Basterds”
    (yeah, that’s the correct spelling-go figure)

  20. p0nk

    @6 been a while since i’ve heard that reference.

  21. Webster Dictionary

    “The stash” explanation -

    or as I like to call it, the d!ck duster, is Brad’s version of Johnny Depp identity theft …and news flash, Depp feels very violated & will go into complete isolation until the Apocalypse or until someone asks Depp to play Tristan from Legends of the Fall “The Sequel” to claim his dirty man hair identity back..snap!

  22. Blue Bell I scream....

    Man, it’d be awesome if a dirty brown cow with freckles poked out….now that would be worth posting

  23. Randal

    Great style there Brad and don’t fret about the zipper problem. When you’ve got something that big behind closed doors, it’s bound to burst forth sooner or later.


  24. Binky

    I don’t know about Brad – but trying to watch that Benjamin Button movie – I think I aged five years.

  25. Hokies or Chokies?

    “A female graduate student at Virginia Tech was killed Wednesday night when a man she knew attacked her with a knife and decapitated her, a school spokesman said.”

  26. long like my legs and my husbands fat dick

    Awe hooked on phonics didn’t work for #15. I’ve seen people complain about the huge long posts, but that comment is considred long? What??? You must really have trouble reading to complain about something that short.

    P.S. Longer is better and length definitely does matter.

  27. Edgar Allen Poe

    #26 – Wow, such a low blow but not even a good blow so move on with your life. You can go back to the library now and continue writing your next scholastic novel. Best of luck in attempting to receive the Pulitzer Prize….

  28. Alex

    Who cares that he forgot to zip up, he is a freaking human being people!! We´ve all been there one time or another (actually I forgot to zip up a month ago in front of my ex BF and I also had my hands in my pockets, I think I was wearing pink panties.. hahahaha what can you do). The important thing is he is smuggling booze!! I love it, that is the right attitude, I just fell back in love with him. I had given up on him, too many children, who wants a guy with 6 kids, I´m not cooking for all your children dude, WTF! I love those last pics… I used to do that back in the day when my BF and I would go to motels, I would smuggle beer and champaign in my purse ji.

  29. Lindsey

    Ahhh How cute love him!

  30. missywissy

    “SEE, I told you I’m getting older and wiser. Me and Dicaprio are big boys we are. I even forgot to zip my pants! Dicaprio always zips his. See? I’m older than he is! Old old old, I’m old old old. And Wiiiiiiiiiiiise. Old and Wise. A wise old actor am I. Because that’s what’s in fashion! Old old old, I’m old old old.” – -Brad Pitt January 20, 2006

  31. missywissy

    “Look at me! I’m squinting! I think I might need glasses because I’m getting OOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD. Ooo! Bring on the older men roles! Old old old, getting old old old. I am getting old!” – Brad Pitt 1 minute later

  32. prowler_x19

    FYI – it’s totally legal to drink anywhere in Berlin…so there was no “sneaking” of drinks anywhere! yay Berlin!

  33. Maybe he and Angie had a quickie in the car on the way to the red carpet…oh wait that was with billy bob!

  34. jens.

    I’m currently celebrating “mustache week” myself…and I’m loving every minute of it! Ladies here I come! Wooh.

  35. amy

    Seems Brad likes his drinky? I would too with 6 kids under 7. Are they freaking insane?

  36. Jimmy Jim

    the guy dresses like he’s 5 steps ahead of traditional male fashion, so purposely having the fly down may be the next trend. im doing it right now!

    and lol on this being the only thing haters can find to trash talk brad pitt about. don’t forget the part about him giving more money to charity than any of you will ever make in your lives. lol

  37. panther

    Congrats to #33 for being an International Alcohol Legality Informant…I’d like to buy you a beer. No, make it a straight shot since liquor is quicker and I have the psychic ability to predict ”the prowler” is lookin’ to get lucky with the ladies tOniGhT!!!! Me Ooowww….

  38. Cami

    @5 I thought Pete Wentz only gave John Mayer BJ since Pete is so in love with John.

  39. panties

    #27. It’s astounding that a comment that short is such a big deal to you. What do you consider heavy reading? The instructions to your vibrator or perhaps the lengthier instructions for your herpes meds? I really don’t see why anyone would be proud to prove that they’re an illiterate idiot.

  40. GOOD NEWS, folks!!
    The farmers rule again!!

  41. Ben

    Every guy has done this. Why is this news. The haters are trying to bash Brad while their own fly is open. The haters just make me respect him more. He and Angie show a tremendous amount of grace under fire from Jen and her haters.

  42. Darkie


    Thanks for the novella

  43. Carter

    I’m still wondering why Jen can’t move on with her life. Other women have,
    Why keep atacking Brad. He has move one Jen should move on two.



  45. missywissy

    @45- is his wardrobe and the whole “squinty eye thing” part of his role too? FUCKHEAD

  46. rick

    hey 46 maybe he was blinking and those 400 cameras in his face caught that FUCKHEAD and his mustache is for the new tarintino movie FUCKHEAD

  47. Jen

    Am I the only woman in the world who doesn’t find him attractive?

    Maybe aesthetically I can see how he would be pleasing to some people. But just… no.

  48. sid

    after getting with that lady, he’s been looking old and fugly…..oh well

  49. Brooke

    I think Brad is starting to show his age,not just mentally, but looks wise. Ever since he hooked up with Jolie and had a bunch of kids, he looks old and stressed. He should of stayed with Jennifer or at least had the decency to divorce her before starting to see Jolie. Karma is a *itch! It’s all catching up to him. Somewhere Jennifer is looking at the picture thinking ” If you had stayed with me you wouldn’t had this problem and you wouldn’t have 15 bajillion kids right now”. On a serious note, Jolie seems demanding so I wonder if Brad ever regrets leaving Jen for her. I’m not a big Jen fan and I sure am not an Angie fan either, but I find it sickening when married guys cheat or when women who know the guy is married seduce them. Then to add insult to injury the woman goes and brags about it in magazines.

  50. West Door

    God I hate that mustache.

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