Brad Pitt sent an email to the Cannes FIlm Festival today saying he couldn’t attend due to the the “imminent arrival” of his new baby. Additionally, it’s being reported that he and Angelina Jolie are going to let Namibian Governor Samuel Nuuyoma name their new baby. He’s become a close personal friend and helped them find a safe haven in Africa.
According to American publication In Touch, Nuuyoma will stage a news conference on Friday to announce his part in the christening. The announcement has prompted many to believe Jolie has already given birth. A Namibian official tells In Touch, “It’s true. This is a great honour for Namibia and everyone is very excited.” The source explains that local custom will prompt Nuuyoma to visit Jolie when she goes into labour and officially name the baby.
I have no idea what native Namibian names sound like but I’m hoping they’re horribly unfitting for a white kid. Like Shaniqua. Or Afroman. Or maybe just a series of clicks and whistles. Because everything I’ve learned about Africa I’ve learned through sketch comedy shows.
NO ILLEGAL ALIENS! STOP AMNESTY! STOP THE TAKING OVER OF THE COUNTRY! BECOME A LEGAL CITIZEN THE RIGHT WAY… NOT THE ILLEGAL WAY! IT’S DISGUSTING AND BREAKING THE LAW AND IT MAKES IT MISERABLE FOR LEGAL AMERICANS!
@9-
I think I can top “Pilot Inspektor”. How about “Youngjeezyia Scrappanisha”? This is a REAL name, I swear I’m not making it up. I can all but guarantee that lil’ Youngjeezyia ISN’T going to be the next President or US Senator. I would bet on her being a 14th st ho or a crack-addicted 14th st ho. Now THAT’S classy, isn’t it?
@51-
I agree, but this isn’t the place for politics. Take it to Fox News or wherever, ok?
@38 and #46-
Please, please, PLEASE, for the love of God, DON’T FEED THE TROLL!! You’ll make it think that we actually WANT to hear it’s lame-ass posts and oh-so-witty puns. Ignore it and it will go away!!!!
Wow….there’s three words that I never thought I would see together: “safe haven” and “Africa”. That kid must be Jesus, ’cause he just worked a fuckin’ miracle.
Haha, I thought the sign behind Angelina said “Go Hard Or Stay Homo”.
Czar Amanda; stupid name, btw
I will talk to whom ever the fuck I find humorous on this website, and if it happens to be someone I absolutely hate, so be it. Oddly enough, I haven’t found you funny, ass-puppet. Stick some granite up your poop-shoot bitch.
lame bananas…this is no way a defense of your lameness, go fuck yourself.
What a fucking pair of idiots – Jennifer consider your self lucky to be rid of this stupid prick. These fools deserve each other.
sorry amanda….no comment? cunt.
I can just imagine it, Mr.Namibian Governor is sitting in his hut thinking about what he should name this child.
“NcKlackbOAHie.., no much too common”
:ponders:
“ShyfooNAYNAYSHOO, oh god, too old fashioned..”
:lightbulb goes off:
“I’ve got something really creative! JENNIFER-TIFFANY!, or LYNN, or Ashley! Such creative names !”
I was in Namibia once when I was younger and it was beautiful. A lot of really cool wildlife and the coast was awesome. I couldn’t really think of a good name from the time I was there that I remember clearly. I do remember a lot of spears going `by my head and almost hitting me quite a few times. I guess a lot of “Spear-Chuckers” live there. I don’t think they should name the baby that though, that shits racist………..
I love Brangelina. But big whoop. Braddy sent an e-mail – OMFGGGGGGGG!!!1ONE! Give me some real gossip, Superficial Guy, and I’ll give you a lap dance.
*chants*
Stallion Stallion Stallion
you cunt
Id love to know what Jenn is thinking about all this
Please welcome Ibeamaka Obiajulu Pitt.
Brad couldn’t be here. He’s hanging with his pal K-dick.
His publicist will release a statement he’s outta this shit.
Angelina is now changing her name to Shar-butt-breastasa.
63 – Jenn should be more concerned with her floundering movie career and horse face bad looks than Brad and Angelina’s e-mails from around the globe.
@55 I love it when you talk dirty you naughty fucker, let me sit on your lap and pinch your nipples.
Getitstraight likes poo sandwiches.
67 I bending over now for those b-day spankings. You first – then Tranny.
@55-
I never tried to tell you who to talk to. I really don’t give a flying fuck who you talk to. If you want to be responsible for egging it on, then more power to you. Don’t worry, I won’t be making the mistake to ever post any more lame-ass, unfunny comments again, so you can direct your irrational tirades at someone else. Thanks for reminding me why I hate people. Gotta run, I have to go get that granite up my poop-chute.
I love when people feed the trolls. It’s the real reason I come here. That and I have nothing else better to do. I mean, there is only so much masturbation a girl can do. Especially since I broke the sex swing.
GodDAMN you are SEEEEEEEXYYYYYY, Cruising.
*smack*
*smack smack*
*SMACK*
After all this they’ll probably call him Bob…or something anti-climactic like that. If it’s not the next Jesus, then the publicity they get from this will make them the most over-rated couple of the year…
Sex swing? How lame. Gotta get the Vietnamese spin-fuck chair or the Olongapo box-fuck rig. :)
If I have a son I’m going to name him Shifty McLayabout or Randy O’Drunkard in honor of his Irish-American heritage.
@74 – They call me “Chesty McBreasty”
TRUE STORY.
#75
That was on my list of Irish-American girls’ names along with Scarlett O’Harlot. That, or Mary.
wouldn’t it be funny if the Namibian governor just named the kid “John” or “Bob” or something?
77 if he named it Jennifer or Billy Bob, I would never stop laughing.
By the way, I’d like to add – because it can’t be said enough times – I hope her baby has 3 heads. And I think it’s possible given that she is so evil.
So two celebs having an out of wedlock child is a great honor in Namibia? Hollywood must be blessed. After the guy with two “u”s back to back in his name gets done with his big speech, they will all retire to worship the Coke bottle that fell from the sky.
“Go Hard or Stay Home.” That’s a stipulation that Angie had put into her contract for all of her leading male costars.
I let my salesperson at Pea In the Pod name my kids because she kept me looking so cute & stylish for nine months.
Do not be afraid, that cannot be a
name worse than that of the children
of julia roberts!!!
believe me
!
Sweet, so we’re going to have Maddox, Zahara and Gwanziwubetre. What the hell is this? A family, or a Unicef greeting card?
What’s Namibian for “child of assholes”?
“Safe haven”, heh. Maybe more will be revealved, but dude, when your partner is pregnant, when there’s an apparent lack-of-safety problem needing “safe havens” or some such, when it involves the president of a semi-corrupt, war-torn, third-world country and, further, when his protection insinuates/activates archaic customs of his naming your kid, get off your bank account and get you and your partner the fuck out of that country/situation and to proper safety and medical care. Yesterday.
Yeah! The only ‘safe haven’ is Angie’s brother’s child. If it’s name was Safe. And if he had a kid.
Brad certainly doesn´t miss his days as a bachelor anymore. Naturally there are times when he feels tired but that´s only normal. He loves ALL his six kids very much and said time and time again that he and Angie want to have more kids. But in my opinion they probably should wait until the twins are 2 years old (July 2010) before adding a new family member to the family. He waited for years to have a family so why would he risk that now? He certainly doesn´t want to lose Angie and their adorable children. This family is everything to him. He has said that many times in the past few years.