Brad Pitt sent an email to the Cannes FIlm Festival today saying he couldn’t attend due to the the “imminent arrival” of his new baby. Additionally, it’s being reported that he and Angelina Jolie are going to let Namibian Governor Samuel Nuuyoma name their new baby. He’s become a close personal friend and helped them find a safe haven in Africa.
According to American publication In Touch, Nuuyoma will stage a news conference on Friday to announce his part in the christening. The announcement has prompted many to believe Jolie has already given birth. A Namibian official tells In Touch, “It’s true. This is a great honour for Namibia and everyone is very excited.” The source explains that local custom will prompt Nuuyoma to visit Jolie when she goes into labour and officially name the baby.
I have no idea what native Namibian names sound like but I’m hoping they’re horribly unfitting for a white kid. Like Shaniqua. Or Afroman. Or maybe just a series of clicks and whistles. Because everything I’ve learned about Africa I’ve learned through sketch comedy shows.
christieb | May 23, 2006 at 6:08 pm
huh??
gammanormids | May 23, 2006 at 6:09 pm
Good for them, they are quite er… normal compared to other
parents.
christieb | May 23, 2006 at 6:09 pm
isn’t afroman that guy who sang the “cause I got high” song??
redsonja1313 | May 23, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Damn slow surever I was hoping for first :( Now I forgot what I was going to say
Gene Parmigiana | May 23, 2006 at 6:10 pm
lame
leahdeadly | May 23, 2006 at 6:11 pm
everyone is saying how this kid one the genetic jackpot…I don’t know though. It could be that this kid is really good looking…or it could go the other way. And look like Britney Spears post K. Fed.
SABRINA627 | May 23, 2006 at 6:12 pm
crazy
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:12 pm
“Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”
(Tell me there’s somebody here who gets that…)
dasein | May 23, 2006 at 6:12 pm
I’m sure the name will be okay.
I mean, what can be worse than Pilot Inspector?
You can’t top that.
BarbadoSlim | May 23, 2006 at 6:15 pm
What Brad and crazy Angie haven’t realized is that after the creature is born Angie is gonna get an old fashioned Namibian clitoridectomy.
Mrs Jolie, you have a girl and we also removed that pesky clit for ya. HA HA!!! you got Punk’d!!
ScriptRadar | May 23, 2006 at 6:17 pm
#6 – Indian kid turns to his father and asks, “Daddy, how do we come up with names”?…
LOL! Great joke, Sodomy_is_for_Girls.
Gene Parmigiana | May 23, 2006 at 6:20 pm
what’s wrong with sha-nay-nay?
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:22 pm
Script:
Xenu bless you.
ScriptRadar | May 23, 2006 at 6:24 pm
#9 – Perish the thought
::shudder::
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 23, 2006 at 6:24 pm
I prefer A’aish’a'lashondra’lo’quisha, personally. Yay for made-up names because a true African-American like Angelina “don’t need yo white names, which rob us of owuh true heritage.”
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:25 pm
*Owner’s*
Nikk The Templar | May 23, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Wow, they just couldn’t let all the other celebs have some spotlight for their babies…they just have to suck it all up, don’t they?
I’m waiting for a celeb to give their kid a NORMAL name. And when that happens, I am going to shake that celeb’s hand.
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:26 pm
Actually, “Owners’”
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:28 pm
Having Nikk post between my two really racist posts makes me feel bad.
Sometimes the humor of shock value doesn’t outweigh the wrongness of the statement.
My bad.
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:28 pm
P.S.:
Nikk, I read your whole MYSpace page last week, but was too drunk to contact you…
Praz | May 23, 2006 at 6:29 pm
!xobile?
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:37 pm
Christ, I drink too much…
Can’t wait to read this tomorrow…
M@ce | May 23, 2006 at 6:41 pm
Name baby M@ce.
M@ce is good name. Strong name.
Why big stomach lady give ‘Short-Round’ funny haircut?
SMASH!!
JungleChik | May 23, 2006 at 6:43 pm
Let’s just hope it’s better than Bluebell Madonna.
Sodomy_is_for_Girls | May 23, 2006 at 6:43 pm
M@ce:
Just when I think you are milking the “Smash” thing too far, you bust out with a “Short Round” comment.
Genius.
Shelley Bonnechance | May 23, 2006 at 6:51 pm
I think it’s so…cute…that these two people, unmarried, several times divorced, et cetera, are having their baby christened.
You wouldn’t have thought such a thing mattered to them. That’s actually rather nice.
Angelina looks like she is just. About. To. Pop.
Shelley Bonnechance | May 23, 2006 at 6:54 pm
But as for the whole name thing, surely it couldn’t be worse than any of the other dumb things pretentious, show-offy celebrities name their poor kids.
Suri. I ask you….
Ari | May 23, 2006 at 6:55 pm
#3
YES!
Because I got high…hahaha!
bondgrrrl | May 23, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Go hard or stay home? Africa looks like my kind of town
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 23, 2006 at 7:14 pm
I say they name the baby Jiggaboo, a traditional Nambian name which means “Anjelina Jolie has a big floppy vagina”.
Signed,
Dr. Spock
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:17 pm
She amde Brad Pitt weird! And she’s a homewrecker! (By she I mean Angelinia Pitt… oh, wait, they;re not married.)
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:18 pm
Bt I guess she gave him waht Jennifer Aniston wouldn’t… a baby!
10pound | May 23, 2006 at 7:22 pm
introducing click click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click clickclick click click pitt
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:29 pm
That’s gross #30, and not appropriate!!! Sick that you would even think something like that.
BarbadoSlim | May 23, 2006 at 7:30 pm
hehehehe
@33…add some tocs tocs in there and the kid’ll be good to go.
Charlaurz McHall | May 23, 2006 at 7:30 pm
poor celebrity kids, as if they werent gonna have enough problems in life because of their dipshit parents and backwards, retarded DNA, they also have to put up with having shitty shitty names. I am sure the parents only do it to make themselves feel special. They wonder why they have to conform to normal name giving, they are too important for that. I ask you, Pilot Inspector???? Moses?? Bluebell Madonna? Suri? Tinkerbell? Apple??
when will the madness end?
http://celebreligion.com
jemfysh | May 23, 2006 at 7:34 pm
If the Namibian Governor is calling a press conference for Friday, why does everyone assume he will speak about Angelina Jolie’s baby?? Surely he has more pressing national issues on his agenda?!
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | May 23, 2006 at 7:36 pm
34 – Hey, you know what’s not appropriate? Your face!!!
Zing!
TrannyGranny | May 23, 2006 at 7:38 pm
I like the fact that G. Bush can’t take over a 3rd world nation with the most advanced army in history, and Angelina Jolie made Nambia her bitch, effortlessly.
Rock on Pres Knew Yo Momma!
BarbadoSlim | May 23, 2006 at 7:48 pm
@37….no he doesn’t.
I read somewhere that they’re even planning on making the day a national holiday.
All of which tells me that, the world, will not be affected in the LEAST, if Namibia were wiped off the face of the earth.
krisdylee | May 23, 2006 at 7:50 pm
Bet they don’t have any decent drugs at that hospital… hahaha. Angelina…. labour hurts like a mother-fuckin’ son of a whore.
Name the baby who gives a fuck.
krisdylee | May 23, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Osh, you make me wet and happy.
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Name the baby “Arm”
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Or, if it’s a girl… “Peach”
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:54 pm
Get it?? Arm Pitt and Peach Pitt!! That’s Bananas… some other considerations…
-Stinkey
-Six Foot
-Plum
-Ina
Orrrrr
-Jake.
Okay, the last one is normal, but oh well.
TrannyGranny | May 23, 2006 at 7:55 pm
lame bananas;
I would rather take a dump on a picture of Mohamad, at that stupid fucking rock they worship at the height of Ramadan than acknowledge your existence….but, you ignorant cunt, you made me laugh with the “arm” comment. Nice work!
TrannyGranny | May 23, 2006 at 7:56 pm
I got it without the explanation…done laughing. Taint funny if ya gotta splain.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | May 23, 2006 at 7:57 pm
#40
Just like Canada.
D’oh! Sorry, BigJim & krisdylee. I’m just kidding. But not really.
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Ohh, wait…. THIS IS THE LAST ONE… I PROMISE! lol… make it:
“Chris n’”…
Like the BBQ sauce! Get it? I still think “Arm” for a boy and “Peach” for a girl are the best.
Iambananas | May 23, 2006 at 8:03 pm
http://www.laokay.com/lathumb/laphoto/ChrisnPitts.jpg