Brad Pitt pulls a Britney Spears

May 24th, 2006 // 322 Comments

Looks like Brad Pitt has been taking child care lessons from Britney Spears. Last Thursday he went for a bicycle ride in Namibia with Maddox and Zahara but didn’t properly secure Zahara in a child trailer, instead strapping her to his back in a blue papoose without a helmet. According to the author of The Safe Baby:

“[Zahara] needs a helmet and closed-toe shoes,” Holtzman tells Us Weekly, which features photos of the outing in its new issue. “And I highly recommend toddlers ride in a child trailer pulled by a bike. It’s more stable and secure.” Baby Talk senior editor Christina Vercelletto agreed. Makers of the baby-pack “specifically say, ‘Do not use while riding a bike,’” Vercelletto told us. “[It] will affect your balance. The safest place for her would be in a toddler bike seat.”

It’s encouraging to see Brad Pitt isn’t as good at parenting as he is at looking really really good without a shirt on. The only hope the rest of us have as human beings is that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will be so bad at parenting their child doesn’t make it past age 12. Because if that genetically perfect son of a bitch reaches adulthood it’ll pretty much rule the world. Imagine the power of supermodels, but multiplied by 86 bazillion.



  1. CruisingForCock

    Spitfire, why aren’t you funny?

  2. Ari

    Oh, Spitfire, honey. If you don’t like it here, why do you stay?

    We’re all having good, dirty fun, so what’s your issue? You hate us all, ok, fine. Point taken.

    I don’t CARE, and neither does anyone else.

    Oh, you know what? You should go find Edna and ask her to pray for us all.

    I know you get off when one of us recognizes you and your mindless drivel, and I’m glad I could help, but I’m done now.

  3. Spitfire7

    ohhh…i forget Cruising4Cock..your mental for humor is that of a 4 or 5 year old. I forgot all I had to do was say (type) the words “Cock, Cunt, ect…for you to think something was funny…Ok this is for you CRUISING4COCK….. CUNT!

  4. Spitfire7

    Ari…don’t like it??? why I love it dear! , but it is getting late here and I will let this posts end for me tonight…so, feel free to go about your cock swapping stories…im sure as you will have wicked dreams tonight! ;)

  5. CruisingForCock

    Much better! See now that is funny. Where is my loli-pop?

    Wait…you forgot CLIT!

    I hate when Clit is forgotten. You almost had it. Keep trying.

  6. Ari

    Noooooo, you can’t forget clit!!

  7. Iambananas


    Jennifer Aniston is not pretty… she never moves her upper lip at all (I’m guessing too much Botox)…

    And she relly just dosne’t have a pretty face at all.

    Plus, she’s too selfish, I mean, she won’t even have kids. But even if she did, she’d still be not pretty.

  8. Fa Cube Itches

    299 Ari – yeah, it was an older judge who ended up retiring a few months later. I think hed’ probably been saving that one up for a while. We still have a copy of the transcript somewhere in the office.

  9. Iambananas

    Her legs look too skinney and weird in that picture.

  10. Fa Cube Itches

    *waves to the boatman*

    There, clit has received attention and is no longer forgotten. :)

  11. Ari

    Fa Cube, I can imagine that judges have a lot of anger and frustration built up after a while.

    It is getting late here in the Lone Star State so I must be getting myself off to bed. Tomorrow’s the last day I have to get up so effing early, thank God, I’m just not a morning person…blah.

    Goodnights and French kisses to you all!

  12. Fa Cube Itches

    Night, Ari. :) Early morning for me, too.

  13. Oye..what a long night.

    BigJim – It’s bad enough you are cheating on me with your wife – I’m not sharing you with anyone else, god nab -it!!!!!

    On a side note – did anyone ever notice Paula Abdul has man arms – or could be a tranny?

    Freakin me the fuck out.

    I hope there are some new posts today.

  14. carmachu

    Someone asked why closed shoes? So the kids feet dont end up somewhere where their not suppose to and get hurt.

    Trailers are the WORST thing for kdis. Too low for anyone else to see. Thats bad advice, while more stable, better chance its going to get hit by someone who cant see it. Its WAY too low to the ground.

  15. 86

    Hey the SF guy said “86 bazillion.” Think that was a shout out to me? Anyone…anyone?…

  16. antiguy

    Uhm….Brad Pitt is a pretty smart guy. I’m sure he knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t put one of ‘his’ kids in danger. How you can compare HIM to a piece of shit hick like Britney Spears who likes to put her baby in danger all of the time sort of astounds me.

    Need I remind you that her baby was about a half a second from his soft baby headed being splattered on the pavement the other day? Meanwhile Pitt has the kid securely strapped to his back, making sure she’s not weighed down too so she doesn’t, you know, get a heatstroke. Nambia is HOT!

    Bad call on this one, Superficial. Baaaad call.

  17. Iambananas

    How do you know Brad Pitt is smart? Do you know him?

  18. amepay84

    i saw the digital pics of them 2 put together it may be a cute baby but it is going to be a very ugly adult NOW jen and vince put together was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

  19. do you imagine brad pitt doing diapers? LOL

  20. Imagine that Brad pitt tries to take a baby for a stroll in the U.S. do you seriously think that he wouldn’t be mobbed by a bunch of people? So why is that different from Nambia? I wouldn’t put my kid in a pull cart behind a bike in Nambia either… not much protection for the kid if someone gets the bright idea to attack you, take the kid, and run off to ransom it because they know that you are a multi-millionare. And is it possible that the bike ride wasn’t scheduled and because they were in NAMBIA that they might not have had a TODDLER HELMET available to them? C’Mon leave these people alone. At least they are TRYING to be productive. Not to mention what derelict writes: “The only hope the rest of us have as human beings is that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will be so bad at parenting their child doesn’t make it past age 12″? The answer: the same person who is being critical of Pitt because “his” baby isn’t wearing a helmet and closed-toe shoes in a third world country? Reality Check – get a life – because if we put you under a social microscope we might find more than a couple of things ethically questionable in your life as well… I guess the title of this site really DOES speak for itself doesn’t it?

  21. bridgidbomb

    i think that if a father wants to take his children for a bike ride then he should be able to. he’s seems like a pretty level headed guy, even more level headed while he has two small children with him. i doubt that he’ll be going off jumps and doing bmx tricks with zahara and maddox. so maybe the media can go exploit something else and leave these people alone? there are more important issues than a bike ride. and who cares what the child looks like? i am sure the people getting hard over the idea of an ugly baby arent america’s next top models. so why don’t you all calm down and focus on more important issues. or wait here’s an idea; walk away from the computer and take a walk outside. i think your brains are clearly lacking fresh air.


  22. I don’t think he should be scrutinized like they did with Brittany.. FOr pete’s sake She was on the freaking highway going way faster than i bet Brad and shilo are..

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