Brad Pitt on Jennifer Aniston

January 7th, 2009 // 71 Comments

Brad Pitt is setting the record straight on that time he bailed on ex-wife Jennifer Aniston to start repopulating the earth with Angelina Jolie. Perhaps you’ve heard about it in passing. Anyway, here’s Brad stating his case in the latest issue of W Magazine:

“Listen, man, Jen is a sweetheart,” Pitt says, as if to settle this thing once and for all. “I think she got dragged into that one, and then there’s a second round to all of that Angie versus Jen. It’s so created.” Of his current relationship with Aniston, he says, “We still check in with each other. She was a big part of my life, and me hers. I don’t see how there cannot be [that]. That’s life, man. That’s life.”

Brad then defended Angelina Jolie and denied any allegations of an affair on the set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith:

“What people don’t understand is that we filmed [Mr. & Mrs. Smith] for a year,” he explains. “We were still filming after Jen and I split up. Even then it doesn’t mean that there was some kind of dastardly affair. There wasn’t. I’m very proud of the way that it was handled. It was respectful. [The film] will mean something to our kids. It will, that’s all.”

First off, Mr. & Mrs. Smith isn’t even that good of a movie. I think more people need to say that the next time Brad or Angie start getting all misty-eyed about it. Second, what the hell kind of story is that to tell your kids?

BRAD: Jen, it’s Brad. Just called to say we’re getting a divorce, so, uh, hey , no hard feelings. *hangs up phone*
ANGELINA: Did you do it?
BRAD: Yep.
ANGELINA: Good. I’m ovulating.
BRAD: Sweet!

If my parents told me a bedtime story like that, I’d probably turn into some sort of sex-craved maniac who writes about half-naked celebrities all day. No, thank you.

Photos: W Magazine
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  1. JellyfishFur

    Why the fuck is bringing this shit up. A dude cheats on a girl he moves on. I see why Jen is doing it. A chick gets cheated on she keeps talking about it for life. He’s Brad fucking Pitt. Just say “pshhh” and wave his hand in the air.

    By the way. Jen > Angelina. Totally.

  2. jennyjenjen

    third?

  3. mimi

    B.S. Brad. What goes around comes around.

  4. Adam Mckinlay

    Brad looks Gangster!!

  5. big baby jesus

    Gangster grandpa maybe..

  6. whaaaa?

    I think that Brad, Angelina and Jen should all just agree to punch anybody in the face that tries to bring this crap up. Who cares anymore!?

  7. Too bad our military dont torture anymore, Mr and Mrs Smith should be used as a torturing tool…”Jen is a sweetheart” im sure she wont hesitate to throw ninja dart at your effing head…just shut up…

  8. Jen

    “Jen is a sweetheart.”

    I have a feeling Aniston has already called the hitman.

    But whatever, Brad, put a sock in it. You cheated. Own your guilt.

  9. dude_on

    First off the new Fish is improving – Sure, I had baggage with the loss of the previous genius. I simply hope he is not behind bars and left on decent terms. Okay, actually I couldn’t care less but dude was flat out gifted.

    Brad appears confused with his revisionist history. Somehow I remember Jen getting the news via tabloid like the rest of us. Isn’t the unwritten rule in H’wood not to screw your married co-star with intentions of repopulating multiple continents? Let’s remember to take a look at AJ’s ass when she turns 40. I’m putting it on my desk calendar now.

  10. devilsrain

    These two are tools. & Im starting to like the writing again.

  11. He didn’t say which one was better in bed. That would have put a cap on the whole thing.

  12. gorgehu1

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  13. rhythmic defecator

    Personally, I think that he was just covering for her. I mean why would you go and say that when everyone knows that it is probably not the truth? maybe he should just come clean and talk about how he likes to seed others

  14. West Door

    By the looks of his sun damaged face, Jen will probably be this soon-to-be feeble hottie out of her life when he’s wearing pants up to his chest, walking with a cane, and joking that he could impregnate strangers, who will stare at him like uncomfortable Hugh Hefner girlfriends.
    Moving on…..

  15. West Door

    By the looks of his sun damaged face, Jen will probably be glad that this soon-to-be feeble hottie is out of her life when he’s wearing pants up to his chest, walking with a cane, and joking that he could impregnate strangers, who will stare at him like uncomfortable Hugh Hefner girlfriends.
    Moving on…..

  16. By the way, “Brad Pitt on Jennifer Aniston” implies sex tape. Let’s have it.

  17. TJ

    Hey # 13 can I get me a 19 year old Chinese hottie without a razor blade in her pussy?

  18. JellyfishFur

    He should just arrange a 3-way with Jen and An(jaw)le. Bang em both on a regular basis.

  19. Vince Lombardi

    “Brad Pitt on Jennifer Anniston”

    What, again?

  20. Leather-face

    Goddamn he looks old! Aw… usually men look better as they age, but… wow. He’s ucky now~!

  21. coprolite collector/sperm donator and bird watcher on the side

    I wonder if Jen took it up the ass? I am sure Angie does it all.

  22. STINK

    Translation: “I’m keeping Jen on Speed Dial in case Angie gets too whiney.”

  23. havoc

    Smoker’s Face.

    .

  24. Jammy

    reminds me of Charley Horse from Shari Lewis

  25. Sunflower

    #12, I’m guessing Angie baby is better in bed. Otherwise, don’t think Brad would have so many kids that implies a longer-lasting relationship. If Jen was all that and keeping her man happy at home, he wouldn’t have gone elsewhere for what he wasn’t getting from her. Just guessing here……

  26. crabby old guy

    Gee, look at Bradley going all Ernest Hemmingway-like in these pix.

    Yup, “The Old Man and the Sea” redux.

    And by “The Old Man and the Sea” I mean Brad not telling the world what we REALLY want to know:

    1. Who gives better head? Jen or Angie (my money’s on Angie).
    2. Does Angie wear a “Jen mask” when he bangs her to taunt him? and
    3. Are any of the three of them ever gonna make anything worth seeing? EVER?

  27. WTF! That is a misleading title Fish! I want pr0n!

  28. sla

    Supposedly Angie has a wicked jealous streak, which is kind of funny considering she’s got Brad, babies, beauty and a body (I know there is debate about the last two). If she is the jealous type, that “sweetheart” comment from Brad will really piss her off.

    I am somewhat ashamed to say the thought of that brings me a bit of joy. She just seems so damn smug about her fricken’ life. However, with all those kids the odds are good that she will get her mothering ass kicked by at least one of them when they are teenagers.

  29. Fernanado Narcos

    So,he’s stuck with a crazy,bubbleheaded fug whose poison tipped vein-riddled claws are capable of ripping him to shreds,so you better fucking believe Aniston is a “sweetheart” in comparison.

  30. missywissy

    He TOTALLY cheated on Jen. Who the hell is he trying to kid? People that believe everything they hear??? He should run for president.

    He looks like he’s going for that “older distinguished” “I’m an old wise actor” look. It’s kind of funny. Reminds me of Leonardo Dicaprio (only he’ll always look and talk like a 16 year old, no matter how many glares he gives the cameras and how much stubble he grows). Hey guys! The new look for the summer is “older man in thought”. Grecian formulas sales have dropped, but will pick back up when this fad is over as well.

  31. cavy

    #26 – Sunflower, I don’t think the amount of children proves that a woman is good in bed…that is the most DASTARDLY think I have ever heard! By your assumption, Michelle Duggar must be better in bed than the best porn star out there. IMHO, children ruin sex lives….at least that’s what my childed friends complain about which is very confusing since they keep on popping them out and adding to the misery (I wouldn’t know – I’m happily childfree and my sex life is fantastic).

    Oh and I don’t blame Jen at all for the constant chatter about Brad and Angie – it’s the media that refuses to drop it….I bet all 3 would love to see an end to this stupid debate.

  32. Diana

    He looks gross

  33. twzzlrgirl

    I know I’m gonna get all kinds of jumped on for this, but I don’t believe they had an affair. It is possible to start to fall in love with someone without sleeping with them, the same way you can be sleeping with someone and not love them.

    Where there’s smoke there’s fire: however, no smoke here. Tons of people on that set said all kinds of things about a “connection” and “amazing friendship”, etc…but no one suggested they thought they were sleeping together. I honestly believe Brad broke the news to Jen before he slept with Angie.

    Let the jumping on me and calling me naive begin.

  34. Millicent Jones

    This is what a person looks like when their essence has been sucked out. Remember how he looked with Jen? Sure, he’s older now… but not that much older.

  35. Captain Ishmael

    31 – missywissy – ha ha! ‘Older man in thought’ – yes, that’s it exactly. He has such delusions of gravitas, like having some coffee table architecture books, fortune cookie views on politics and a collection of Children of the World real life figurines makes him some intellectual heavyweight, instead of the excuse for a bubblehead he so obviously is. Lamprey lips is no better. The multiple adoptions aren’t evidence of compassion, they’re evidence that she wants. it. all. Drugs, men, kids – hoover ‘em up. I’m waiting for the day when it turns out she’s fucking John Mayer.

  36. freakizoid

    Why is it every time I see this guy he looks more and more like Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer???

  37. Hair of Samson

    #31 and #36, I’m laughing. This must be the first instance in history of a “daguerrotype” photograph that has been airbrushed. They let some pores through but axed the wrinkles. The ( airbrushed ) harshness of his face means that he is supposed to be all rugged, wise and mature, having moved on from his pretty boy past. Except in the thought bubble above his head all I can see is: “Who should I bang next, who should I bang next, I don’t know who I am, I am completely empty, who should I bang next.”

    And I am amazed that he keeps bringing up Mr. and Mrs. Smith as if it were this romantic memento of a sincere and everlasting love. It’s a memento of the time when Angelina had a nice figure, that’s about it. Otherwise, last time I checked it was about two people who hate each others’ guts chasing each other around a kitchen table with Uzis. This must be his way of sending out a signal that he is in a living hell down in that chateau. You know that he is.

  38. speaker of the ppl

    Wow he looks like shit. Now he’s old, haha.

  39. mafme

    Film rules. If that’s not film, I want to know what filter they used in photoshop!

  40. WellRead

    To #22….yep. While making Alexander, Colin Farrel stated in an interview that Angie was wild in bed; she’d do ANYTHING, anything at all! Seems it has been her pattern to screw her co-stars, just ask Jenny Shimatzu….wink!! Heard rumors that she even did ole Clint Eastwood when making Changeling….talk is they have an “open” relationship….so maybe a threesome isn’t far off, ya think? Both Bi, and Bi iz as Bi doz

  41. Mia

    Wow Brad Pitt looks so old. He got worse with age and same goes for Angelina Jolie. Both are so run-down and tired looking.

    Jennifer Aniston on the other hand is still glowing and vibrant looking :)

  42. susan

    BRAD PITT
    Sucky movie…The curious case of Benjamin BORING!
    Sucky actor
    Sucky liar…you cheated…period…end of story

    You’re just another cheating Hollywood actor. But don’t worry, no one expects anything more from you. Get over yourself

  43. Vejjita

    This whole thing made me laugh so hard, + like in other articles GREAT dialogs !!! LOVE this blog !

  44. missywissy

    BTW, John Mayer is the one who confirmed Pitt cheated! When Mayer and Jen broke up, he said because he wasn’t going to cheat on her like she’d been done to before.

    Hey 42, you’d be tired too if you had to take care of six babies.

  45. fuckstocker

    Your fuckstock is assprone, nutcocker.

  46. lola richie

    :P FUG

  47. cavy

    LOL #45….I agree, “you’d be tired too if you had to take care of six babies”….not to mention “shoveling rice in Somalia on the weekends, for fun!”. Brad’s life is over. George Clooney needs to swoop in and rescue him!

  48. hausfrau

    Oh PLEASE. They don’t take care of those kids- they’ve got 50 nannies to do it for them. They are too busy parading down the red carpet to bother with the brood.

  49. RaraAvis

    It’s now official: all three of them are publicity whores. At least Jen can take comfort in knowing that Brad married her, which makes her less of a whore than Angie.

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