Brad Pitt denies being bruised

*brad_pitt_bruised.jpgBrad Pitt’s publicist has slammed reports that there is anything wrong with the actor’s face, after he reportedly showed up at an elegant Paris, France, restaurant with bruises and a swollen lip. Pitt was spotted at the posh L’Avenue restaurant on Monday, where patrons claim he looked a little worse for wear. A fellow diner tells In Touch magazine, “He had a nasty bruise on his face, a swollen lip and eye.”

Now I don’t like to speculate, but I speculate that Brad got his ass handed to him during a lusty romp with Angelina Jolie. There’s nothing sexier than getting punched in the face during sex, though the girls I’ve dated seem to have mixed feelings about it. I guess they have different ideas about what constitutes a good birthday present.