Brad Pitt denies being bruised

March 24th, 2006 // 46 Comments

*brad_pitt_bruised.jpgBrad Pitt’s publicist has slammed reports that there is anything wrong with the actor’s face, after he reportedly showed up at an elegant Paris, France, restaurant with bruises and a swollen lip. Pitt was spotted at the posh L’Avenue restaurant on Monday, where patrons claim he looked a little worse for wear. A fellow diner tells In Touch magazine, “He had a nasty bruise on his face, a swollen lip and eye.”

Now I don’t like to speculate, but I speculate that Brad got his ass handed to him during a lusty romp with Angelina Jolie. There’s nothing sexier than getting punched in the face during sex, though the girls I’ve dated seem to have mixed feelings about it. I guess they have different ideas about what constitutes a good birthday present.


  1. gogoboots

    Angelina can even kick ass his while pregnant, dude he is sooooo whipped!


  2. playahater101

    I think it would be pretty funny to watch a pregnant Angelina kick Brad Pitt’s ass. She might break those toothpick arms of hers if she hits too hard though.

  3. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful breakup…

  4. Lipgloss Assassin

    Ahh, to be in love with crazy…

    uhm , I meant to say “to be crazy in love…”

  5. mw

    They both look like they haven’t bathed in awhile. I bet that kid comes out looking like Pig Pen.

  6. Maybe some of that cystic Acne crawled out from under his skin and it left marks?

  7. The rabid fans with the “Team Jen” t-shirts booked group packages to Paris, so they could scope him out and avenge their leader’s humiliation. They will each be rewarded with a full head of highlights and week’s subscription to the Zone Diet.

  8. krisdylee

    Guess that Angelina would “hit it”….

  9. hotintempe

    I can see her kicking his ass.

    No info on Star Jones’ botched surgery?!!!

  10. Sheva

    Angleina is innocent. She just wanted to taste some new dick and she told Brad this would be a good time to try out her idea for an open relationship while they were out of town.

    Brad didn’t like the guy who showed up and after Angelina gave him a blowjob he got out of hand. And the French guy stomped on him a bit since he was inspired by the blowjob.

    Isn’t it obvious?

  11. ESQ

    I think Jen hired a hit on Brad

  12. Jacq

    Ange probably gave him a beat down Lara Croft style in a hormonal rage. I’d like to get a shot at his other eye because seeing the “sick, twisted Bermuda Triangle” on the cover of EVERYTHING at the grocery store make me want to poke out my own.

  13. Jacq

    Came up with another scenario:
    Paris Hilton had it done because she’s tired of being the only person in Hollywood with a lazy eye.

  14. It’s obvious, isn’t it?

    What’s the first rule of Fight Club?

  15. nasty things happen at the feeding trough when you adopt a gaggle of hungry refugee children…

  16. Italian Stallion

    He either got the Brittnay statue pregnant or he was sleeping with Luara Croft behind her back…..Wait, thats gotta be the reason!!!!!!!!!!

  17. #15 Sometimes Boy…..Classic. LOL!!!!

  18. CDob

    Since when did “Slam” become the verb to use any time a celeb or rep denies or speaks out about something? I don’t know if all these gossip reporters have meetings about stuff like this, but it’s literally everywhere.

  19. CoJo

    This is another case of “where the fuck were the paparatzi?”

    I find it hard to believe this story. If it’s true, there would be hudreds of pictures of it all over the web already.

  20. pffff

    Plastic surgery causes a lot of bruising. I’m just saying.

  21. CDob – I’d like to add “canoodle” that the dictonary that only gossips could create.

    Let’s conjugate this verb:
    He canoodles
    She canoodles
    They canoodled
    And the rest of us couldn’t give a fuck

  22. lebowski

    Swollen lips, huh? Maybe he’s just trying to look more like his lady love.

  23. doesntmatter

    so where are the photos?

  24. CriminallyElegant

    if i was him i wouldnt let that ugly bitch hit me

  25. mija289

    Um,I never knew InTouch had so many believers. Mon he looked like Mike Tyson wooped his arse (so the Tab’s say). Wed he’s hoofing it thru Orly with nary a bump or bruise “and closeup photo’s by the same pap’s to prove it.”

  26. Are you serial? I think we all know who wears the pants in that relationship? All I’ve got to say after my comment is LOL and ROTFL and haha and ;)

  27. CDob

    Lala, you are hilarious. Right on.

  28. Jayne

    so what if he gets beaten up by women.
    it’s not too shocking.

  29. Jacq

    The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club…
    Come on – no one got to it before me?

  30. boredatwurk

    I’d hit it! Bruises or not.

  31. prideofchucky

    F*ck Jacq- u beat me to it.

  32. robbob

    Angie is truthfully a sadomasochist.

    She once drew a switchblade down her jaw whilst having intercourse. I’m not joking; google it! It’s well-documented.

    I’ll bet she cold-cocked him during an orgasm. He’d better learn to defend himself. It’s a real life “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”

  33. Erienne

    If I were a dude, I’d pay to have Angelina beat the shit out of me.
    #7 (Lala) that was hilarious.

  34. Ms Crackalackin

    No, that was just his bloated face and five o’clock shadow they were seeing.

  35. derekd

    Nothings wrong with his face except having more pock marks than Edward James Olmos.(well maybe not THAT bad) Hey he’s bangin’ Jolie I’m not so I gotta get me some pockmarks! Pass the chocolate!!

  36. CheekyChops

    I’d find it refreshing to think that he ran into Jennifer Aniston and she gave him a roundhouse kick to the face.

  37. TheREALKennyG

    Oh the lives of celebrities! Next thing you know he’ll be eating soup and jumping on couches, TOM CRUISE STYLE!



  39. nikki

    i think he fell off his Ducati bike.

  40. ning_ning

    I’d hit it…

  41. Tracy

    I confess, it was me. I beat his pretty little a** for not returning my 422 phone calls. Can’t ignore me now, can you Brad?

  42. Steelerific06

    As a hetero female I can honestly say that I would gladly have rough sex with Angie any day. (and if Brad wants to jump in all the better) would be taken but only for the memories….

  43. EvilJolieWhore

    The pics are at The paparazzi WERE there

  44. j-j

    Sounds like Brad may have pulled a Billy Bob. He was probably snifing around someone else’s yard and got caught and payed the consequences. OK maybe Angie never had BB’s baby but he strayed right after they adopted together.

    Cripes his publicist is denying ANYTHING happened to him which is VERY suspicious. Judging from that picture, obviously someone gave his face a real pounding. If it had been a public incident, it would have definitely been reported in the news.

  45. kpatton

    Wake up call folks. Billy Bob, Angelina’s ex was bi-polar, they traded blood vials and practiced BDSM by Angelina’s own admission. Jon Vought her dad says she needs help. Let me tell you, her being bi-polar would explain a lot. My ex was a sexual dynamo in bed enough to keep me on the hook for 5 years despite her battering me up to 4 times and me calling the police 3 times to have her removed from the house. I am a 250lb weight lifter but, who they gonna believe if you fight back? I got stitches and bruises all trying NOT to hurt her back. I think we can expect more from the Bradgelina train wreck. But who do you really think would show you a better time in bed, Angelina or Jennifer? I think the answer is obvious. That is the trap Mr. Pitt has fallen into. And she is weaving the web tighter and tighter, first the adoption, now squeezing out a kid for him…the man is lost. Remember what happened to Alec Baldwin when he took up with head case Bassinger? His career is only now recovering…He was the Brad Pitt of the 80′s if you recall…

  46. nah, i don’t think it was a lusty romp…i think he just got out of line and she smacked him!

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