Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie not getting married

December 11th, 2006 // 44 Comments

jolie-pitt-no-wedding.jpgBrad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are denying rumors they’re planning to wed in Johannesburg. A rep for Brad tells Us Weekly: “It’s all made up.” A tabloid reported last week that they’d have a simple and elegant ceremony with African music and that guests would include Oprah Winfrey.

“Oprah would not be invited to their wedding. They are not that close,” a source close to the couple says.

Wow, first Oprah gets rejected from Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding and now she can’t even get herself invited to an imaginary one. Either people really don’t like her or that flatulence rumor I’ve been spreading is starting to catch on. I mean would you want a woman at your wedding who supposedly farts with so much intensity her underwear catches on fire?


  1. she looks like she’s got some gas problems…

  2. fergernauster

    Why would she marry him… or him her? They obviously are wise enough to understand that marriage kills all interest & good sex.

    On another (yet related) note, they rarely cart their biological papoose around much when they go on outings, but they seem to have no trouble exhibiting the adopted brood.

    Funny, huh?

  3. Tracie

    Angelina’s stolen so many men, she realizes there’s just no point in actually marrying one of them anymore. Give her another year and another movie to fall for her next co-star…..Matthew McConaughey may be next…..

  4. Oh noz! Another hollywood couple *not* getting married (so they can get divorced 3 months later) – this is the biggest news ever! –

  5. laikiska

    Simply the fact that Johannesburg is said to be the location makes this rumour a big, fat lie… Or would these two really choose one of the ugliest AND most dangerous cities for their wedding???

  6. RichPort

    Maybe it’s because Oprah won’t adopt a Black baby?

  7. Lions across Africa are disappointed

  8. 86

    Now if only they would just stop making movies too because they both suck ass!!!!!!!!! But wow, aren’t they pretty? Nahhh.

  9. arrested-development

    I think this is the best group of comments ever… because no one mentioned being first.
    On the subject of these getting married or not, seems a little pointless at this stage.

  10. calicojack

    awww poor opie, she’s like the kid in the corner of the playground that eats his own shit.
    …i..i mean him…

  11. jrzmommy

    Marriage is overrated. My husband read about getting a “blumpkin” and now he’s pestering me night and day. What a pig. There’s no way this would be happening back in the old days, before we got married.

  12. Pointandlaugh

    do NOT TAUNT THE OPRAH!!! or suffer her skivvy-burning, butt-belch wrath!!

  13. sexybitch

    Hermes vs. Oprah – at least one reason to love the French.

  14. Missallanpoe

    I don’t even have a snappy comback for this…I just lol’d

  15. Italian Stallion

    Correction: Oprah was invited but refused to go when she noticed there will not be chicken or watermelon on the menu………..

  16. mrs.t

    We didn’t invite Oprah to our wedding either. I mean, my husband put her on the prleminary list, but I was not about to have her ruin my wedding. It’s not so much the farting and belching that gets me, but the stench of self-righteousness and the fear that she’d start doing that down-home black voice on half my family. That one she pulls out whenever Denzel or Eddie Murphy are on her show.

  17. fergernauster

    Hee heeeeeeeeee. Lovin’ the Orca comments.

    Orca is so far out to sea in her own bathosphere that she needs not attend any more celeb marital unions, save for her own forthcoming one with her gentle lover, Gayle.

  18. BEAM

    Is anyone else getting tired of these two? This whole world-savior schtick they have going is getting old. I mean, come, Johannesburg? Fuck off you pretentious cunts.

  19. poor oprah, her stock is plummeting!

  20. fergernauster

    Off-topic: Nothing spells Christmas like Chris Rea’s “Driving Home for Christmas”… Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

  21. Good for them! Having adopted kids out of wedlock is a great idea!

  22. PapaHotNuts

    Steadman owns South Africa.

  23. Tits_McGhee

    I guess not getting married is the new trend of 2006/2007. Thanks, Angie and Brad. You two have yet set another fad. First it was adopting African prarie dogs and now it’s not getting married, cause hey fuck it, you guys are celebs and can do whatever the fuck you want. What’s next, pulling up your sleeves and being a blue-collar worker with a REAL job?

  24. sexybitch

    That’s only because Oprah bought it for him.

  25. jrzmommy

    They can’t find a wedding ceremony and reception venue big enough to fit both of their egos.

  26. AnnoyingPseud

    Just a comment that the other posts here gave me a much needed laugh. As for Angie & Brad – while I do admit finding him extremely fuckable, he’s obviously a total douche. Spawning with the human stick figure and mixing his genes with her balloon headed self, has ruined all my fantasies of him. Now I’m stuck dreaming about Will Farrell. WTF.

  27. AnnoyingPseud

    As for Pooprah – last week at the checkout line, the Nat’l Enquirer had an issue of ‘who’s gay’ and noted that perpetual non-hubby “Steadman” [oh it's so not ironic this is his name] was a gay bird. Surprise surprise. Not. That he’s her little merkin man. I don’t personally care if Poopy is gay [must be why she hates Rosie - too much lesbo energy/competition]. It’s irrelevant to anything. But her gigantic continental sized ego…that pisses me off to no end. That and her endless butt kissing of fellow ‘celebs’. She’s just such a total pig.

  28. Eikooc

    For crying out loud, why don’t you guys give poor Okra Windbag a break!

  29. noonespecial8888

    Well if Ang doesn’t want to marry him, I will.

  30. ginettissima

    Why is everyone always so worried about whether Okra gets invited to weddings or not?

  31. Richard Edwards

    Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie make up the hottest couple in Hollywood, I would love to see them get married. Together they seem more grounded than any other Hollywood couple. If the stars align in their favor for marrige then I wish them the best! I am also wishing the best for Brad Pitt for the upcoming People’s Choice Awards. He is nominated for Favorite Leading Man. Be sure to tune in January 9, 2006 on CBS @ 9/8c, there are only 2 more categories left open for voting. Visit for more info. I got the latest updates because I work with the People’s Choice Community.

  32. andrewthezeppo

    All the stuff about Oprah at Tom and Katie’s wedding was stupid. Just because she interviewed him on her show doesn’t mean that they’re friends…she’s interviewed thousands of people, she can’t just be going to weddings all the time.

  33. Why would they be getting married? Homosexuals have still not received the civil right to marry and they said the wouldn’t until that happened.

  34. Boogie Monster

    Who cares if they get married or not?

  35. renee

    WTF? Grounded my ass, there is no grounded couples in hollywood, especially not those two whores.

    And another thing, whatever happened to thier fat lipped biological baby? Ever since her birth, i only seen one pic of her with brangelina, the rest of the time its only been Zahara and Maddox (I’ll admit, he’s a cutey.)
    I think Angie has a phobia for white babies…. or maybe its just so ugly they’re ashamed to show it.

  36. aurealis

    Okay, we get it! Brangelina will not conform to the whims of common man. It must get drafty up on that pedestal of theirs.

  37. libtard

    Newsflash! The reason they are not getting married is because Brad is waiting for my husband to die so he can be with me.

    Call me, Brad….. I’m a total tramp with low self-esteem. I’m also very “bendy”.

  38. killeristic

    i feel evil. but just cant help to say : YAY!!

  39. cole007

    they shouldn’t get married because Goldie Hawn didn’t, and her and Kurt’s marriage is still going strong. Marriage is the celebrity killer. Look at Tim Robbins and that red-headed banshee he calls a “girlfriend,” shouldn’t they be called “elderly lovers”?

    Pooprah has a 2-story bathroom made out of pink marble. That is enough to have her drawn and quartered if you ask me.

  40. nychag

    “they’re legally bound to their kids, so don’t need to be to eachother”

    oh, how cute.. one big orgy..


  41. who cares to cover denials that people are getting married…that’s not news

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