Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are pissed because somebody has stolen a digital memory card with pictures from their private baby shower for Shiloh. Their lawyers have sent out letters threatening anybody who publishes the pictures, saying:
“Anyone who publishes, disseminates, displays or otherwise exploits” the pictures faces “legal action … seeking compensatory and punitive damages, statutory damages for copyright violations and attorneys’ fees,” says the letter signed by Yael Holtkamp of the top celebrity firm Lavely & Singer. The letter says police are investigating the theft and that any outlet that buys the photos “will be engaged in purchasing stolen property,” which is a crime. A spokesman for the Los Angeles Police Department said he did not know which law enforcement agency was probing the theft because it was unclear where and when the memory card was snatched.
It’d be pretty funny if a week from now Angelina Jolie was doing the laundry and found the memory card mixed in with her old clothes. Like one of those old guys who have their glasses on their head and start scouring the house looking for them, eventually beating their wife after concluding she must have hid them again. And after a good wife beating they maybe wander down the neighborhood in their underwear and start screaming at young people for haivng their rock and roll music.
Be sure to tune in for next week’s announcement that someone has “stolen” the actual baby now – and they will sue whoever tries to return it.
There will be no follow-up the next day when they figure out that the baby was trying to go home and accidentally crawled up Brad’s gaping asshole shortly after Angie banged him with her big, black strap-on.
Jolie-Pitt and Shilo are sooo yesterday. Who even cares?
They are 2 low-lifes who only care about $$$.
bet it was those jean-thieving assistants she borrowed from Naomi!!
I heard Britney stole the pics because she wanted to see what a real baby shower was like, not a cuntry one in a trailer park.
I think I already saw some of the pictures on the net… they are, like, wearing feather boas.
where are the pics located?
I wonder…if i called the police to report my memory card was stolen and I wanted a full investigation…how fast would they hang up on me.
Let them eat cake!
@57
To answer your question, if you, I, or anyone else besides the “Holie-Armpitts” called the LAPD to report their memory card stolen, this would be the exact scenerio that would follow:
1. Dial number for LAPD crime reporting.
2. Wait for 20 minutes on hold.
3. Get hung up on.
4. Dial LAPD again.
5. Wait another 30 minutes on hold.
6. Get connected to an operator, who asks you if there was any gang activity or a shooting in progress associated with the theft of the memory card.
7. Listen to the exasperated sigh of the operator when you answer in the negative, and receive a 5 minute lecture on how the police have more important calls to handle.
8. Wait at your house for the next 2 days until an officer finally gets around to taking a report.
9. Listen to the laughter of the officer as he realizes he took 10 minutes out of his day for this piddly bullshit “crime” report.
10. Hear nothing further about the matter ever again.
But for the Holie-Armpitts:
1. They have one of their lowly servants call the private line of the chief of the LAPD at his home in Beverly Hills.
2. The chief assigns his top commanders to the case and they roll up Code 3 to the Holie-Armpitt compound.
3. Minutes later, an LAPD public relations specialist is putting out a national broadcast to alert the public of this heinous crime.
4. The Holie-Pitts get off their asses to go on the rampage themselves, threatening to sue anyone and everyone who might have seen one of their ridiculous “baby shower” photos.
5. They retire back to their complex, where Holie makes Armpitt take an extra huge didlo up his ass for losing the memory card in the first place.
Gag.
He looks like a f**king monkey. First he dyes his hair to match his girlfriend du jour (seriously, look at him with Gwyneth, Jennifer Anniston, et al). Now he makes the same stupid faces? this guy is a jellyfish.
*dildo*, sorry
Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on June 27, 2006 01:20 PM
Is it just me, or does Maddox have the tightest little ass? He is such a biscuit.
^^^^
Just when I thought you couldn’t be more tasteless you continue you to disgust me….
59:
You took the words out of my mouth – with the exception of “jellyfish”. I was just going to call him a fucking douchebag.
61: chances are that kid only has a couple more years to go before Angelina starts trying to fuck him every which way to Sunday (is that even the right cliche??? whatever)so I hardly think what oshkosh wrote was all that bad. Hilarious evennnn (in the voice of snagglepuss.)
They are probably hidden in her cleavage. It certainly isnt hidden in her ass because that is where Brads got his head shoved so far that nothing else can fit. Her only redeeming quality is her rack.
Oh shut the fuck up 61. You’re just “disgusted” because it’s true.
The pics were originally posted at CBB and JustJared, but have since been removed due to the legal action threat. It’s a shame. They really were adorable!
#61 – Oh, lighten up and grow a sense of humour. Oshkoshb-goshdammgosh is a very funny lady who knows the secret of great comedy; never worry about bad taste getting in the way of a good joke. I always look forward to her posts, and the posts of all the other fine, entertaining folks on here. One word from any of them is worth a quadrillion from the coob, the coob posse, and the coob’s imaginary friends. The only post I ever want to see from that shabby little twit is the one where their mom finds out what they’ve been doing and makes them post an apology before grounding them off the PC forever.
How sad is it that this bitch has fucked over so many women she has to have her man bitch throw her a baby shower? These two baby buying media whores need to burn in hell.
@11 Amen Sister!!!
@23 Who gives a shit how Aniston would make it in Africa? At least she’s not exploiting poor people for her own benefit with lies of donating 1/3 of her income which cannot be verified or documented. That must fall under the “I’ll never have a biological child”, “I could never sleep with a married man” Jolie mentality. After all she is the only one who has ever said it. And yeah she and Pitt were really roughing it spending millions to take over a country, abuse their power, encouraging an already corrupt government to violate human rights, and then take it up the ass with a $315,000 donation. The whore and her bitch spent that in one week alone. Pathetic.
Now back to the important question, in the race of who gives the best blow job? I have to give it to Brad. Her lips have virtually engulfed her face. I mean if she turned in your general direction, she may inadvertently blow you. Brad actualy has to make a concerted effort to drop to his knees qualifying him for additional technical points.
We all know what will eventually happen with this relationship. She’ll toss him, twirl him in the air, throw him down and stomp on him so hard that he won’t know what hit him. This vamp is all about herself no matter how much good she appears to be doing.
jesus, they do look like the reigning king and queen of bj’s.
68, I…I think I love you.