Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie hold hands

The Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt issue hasn’t officially been resolved yet, but here are some pictures that should finalize the argument. I don’t know about you, but if I’m married and am going to hold another woman’s hand in public, you better believe I’m also going to be having crazy animal sex with her. There’s very little chance I’d ruin a marriage to Jennifer Aniston by holding another woman’s hand without at least getting something to show for it. But that’s just me. I’m picky about the way I ruin my marriages. Although there was that one time Dustin Diamond approached me while I was drunk at Cinespace. Boy, was that a mistake I’ll only make twice.

*Edit: Yes, obviously they’re on set. It’s only interesting because the cameras don’t seem to actually be on them.