Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie give birth to Shiloh

May 29th, 2006 // 253 Comments

I wasn’t going to post today since it’s Memorial Day and all that, but I didn’t write anything over the weekend about the super baby being born and I figured I should. If you haven’t already heard, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie gave birth to a baby girl on Saturday and have named her Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. There aren’t any other details, but the birth reportedly went smoothly and everybody is currently in Namibia doing well. Although they’ve yet to explain how they came up with Shiloh. Either all the girl names were taken or they were just really hoping she came out as a dog. They might as well have named her Fido. Or Spot. Or McGruff. Because maybe when she grows up she’ll take a bite out of crime.



  1. they should have called her brangelina!

  2. tarjamarja

    #47, BarbadoSlim, you’re correct. Here in Finland the law states that a child 1) may only have three first names, 2) the meaning of the name may not be inappropriate, 3) you can’t give a girl’s name to a boy or a boy’s name to a girl, 4) the name cannot be grammatically inappropriate, 5) you can’t give a last name as the first name and 6) you can’t give the same first name (calling name) to more than one of your children.

    With that being said, I find it strange that the names Sisko (=sister) and Veli (=brother) are accepted and even relatively common among middle aged or older people. Imagine calling you wife Sister or your husband Brother..?

  3. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    @47. France still applies Napoleonic law that legally restricts the parents’ choice of baby names. They also banned several thousand foreign words, like “bulldozer”, …,19973,633273,00.html

    Bart Simpson appropriately calls the French “cheese-eating surrender monkeys”, but it’s safe to say that no one is named after a beagle either.

  4. BarbadoSlim

    #47…That very well may be, but most advanced governments be they democratic or socialist exercise the power of regulation. Especially if it pertains to child welfare, and this IS a child welfare issue. And if you don’t think so, just wait ’til “Pilot Inspektor” has to fill out his college application.

    The state is the one that registers your fucking kid and it’s sound policy to not to have clowns coming and wanting to register their kid with names like Giant Butthole.

    You wanna be an idiot, then it’s simple, don’t register you kid. Live Free!!

  5. BarbadoSlim

    that was addressed to #47

  6. Yoda a Green Schlong Has

    @52. If it wasn’t illegal in all 50 states, Angelina may well have called her husband “brother.”

  7. BarbadoSlim

    @52 thanks for clearing that up, I was pretty sure it was either Holland or Finland so I didn’t post the country ’cause I knew one of you would know :)

    @53 hahahaha that was good, and I agree with that policy.

  8. krisdylee

    Name Shmame…
    where I live, there are oodles of crazies that name their kids Rain or Journey, all sorts of “unique” names… Shiloh would be considered somewhat normal. I actually know a kid named Apple, and she is a year older than Gwyneth’s…

    I’d like to know the reason she elected to have a C-Section. Why cut yourself when your twat can do the job? My pussy did it twice, and is just as fabulous as ever….

  9. BarbadoSlim

    @56 OUCH!!….when I see that footage of her making out with her brother it gives me the creeps. And I also feel …kind, of… weird.

  10. Evangelia

    #47 and 53 -
    apparently, napoleon set up that law because so many people made fun of his name when he was a kid. oddly prophetic, no?

  11. tsarinaamanda

    I can’t help but remember that book about the dog, I think it was a beagle (which are the DUMBEST dogs alive, and the most annoying). Why would you name your kid after a freakin beagle? I guess it could be worse, at least it’s fairly decent, unlike “Youngjeezyia Scrappanisha” or “Jermajesty”. Whatever. I. for one, welcome my new overlords, and as a reporter, I can be helpful in rounding up poeople to work in their underground sugar caves.

  12. BarbadoSlim

    @58 Yeah, but you don’t have herpes Krys!

  13. TaiTai

    Sorry Yoda, I didn’t mean to insult you.

  14. Sheva

    Angie had a c-section in order not to disturb the herpes that she shares with only Brad and various African lesbians.

  15. Ari

    She had a c-section? Dammit… that’s what I get when I don’t research things.

    58–I agree. I think there’s something really screwed up about opting for a c-section. Why the hell would you undergo surgery when your own body could hand it just fine? Obviously there are cases where c-sections are indicated, but just to decide to have one? Fucking stupid.

    Regular childbirth is much faster to recover from than a c-section.

    And yes, the puss snaps right back into shape.

  16. AMG

    Shiloh is the name of my parent’s dog. It’s also a city in Tennessee – the dog’s a Tennessee Tree Walker and when we got it we looked on a map to name it after a city there. I think it’s actually kind of pretty, and I’ve seen it in baby name books before as a girl’s name. So while not common, it’s not unheard of, either.

  17. Evangelia

    if gwyneth’s baby had been born in france, they probably would not have allowed her to register the name “apple”. fruit names are specifically outlawed.
    on an interesting sidenote, the name “mohammed” has now officially surpassed “jean” and “jacques” to become the most popular baby boy name in france.

  18. Ari

    #65.. that should be *handle

    Must remember to proofread…

  19. I don’t even care about this baby anymore. I’m pissed because I had to march in a 7 mile parade lugging water in a wheelie cooler for Koren veterans and they STILL fucking fainted.

  20. tsarinaamanda


    If I was to ever have a kid (which i won’t) I would have a C-section, the “natural” way seems too gross, messy, long and painful. Why not let them just cut you open and pull it out, it sure seems to beat days and days of pushing with the doctors refusing to keep you doped up to the max. It didn’t stretch your cunt out to have your kids the natural way?

  21. I’ve been Shiloh in Israel.
    It is a beautiful town in the West Bank.
    Although, I don’t know why someone would name their child Shiloh.

  22. tsarinaamanda

    @52 & 53-

    Good for those countries, too bad we don’t do that here. It IS a form of child abuse to give your kids retarded ass names like “Audio Science” and “Pilot Inspektor”. Those kids will be tormented every day in school, and can you imagine little Pilot Inspektor becoming President, or a CEO? Nobody would take them seriously, their parents are limiting their futures, which is just wrong and unfair to those poor kids. If YOU like the name “Apple” so much, by all means rename yourself that, but don’t foist it off on a helpless child. Jesus Christ.

  23. Evangelia

    yoda, what are your kids’ names?

  24. BarbadoSlim

    @72…it occurs to me that if people use common sense a law is not necessary. How do you make people use common sense: PUBLIC RICULE.

    This silliness would come to an end if the press really tore celebutards a new one when they pulled these stunts. But the way things are now the celeb press has turned this idiocy into the uber cool thing to do once celebrities get their new accesory.

  25. tarjamarja

    #72, tsarinaamanda, if these kids with idiotic names are smart enough, they’ll probably change their names into something normal and decent just as soon as they can.

    It’s a good thing Britney gave her son a decent name – what with poor Sean Preston getting head injuries on a regular basis.

  26. endometriorama

    why the FUCK is the middle name “nouvel”?? “new” is going to get stale, especially when she’s 30+. at least they got the correct female form. and shiloh….the beagle…ugh.

    anyway, can’t wait to see brad’s tattoos.

  27. hailstorm1375

    Apparently Photographers entering the country must have a letter from the Jolie Pitts, giving them permision to take pics of the baby!

  28. Toonlite

    I just wished I was a little fly on Jennifer Aniston’s wall and watch her cuss and cry her eyeballs out….then Big fat Vince Vaughn spots me and rolls up a magazine and swats my fly ass off the wall…then that would just suck….I would just like to see Jennifer Aniston…sob…that would be so sweet…..
    “OOooohhh BRrrrraaaadddd…I will have your babyyyyyyyy……” and watching Big Fat Vince scratch his stupid head…thinking “what the faaaa…….”

  29. Toonlite

    Posted by Feed_Me_Chocolate on May 29, 2006 01:46 PM

    The supreme being has been born.
    Her name is Leeloo Dallas Multipass.


    Good name I used to use it on my fake I.D.

  30. M@ce

    If this child turns out to be anything like her mother, it won’t be long before she’s known as Shi-Ho.

  31. somedayshine

    I’m so happy for them
    like i couldnt wait anylonger until that baby was born, it like took forever
    but anyways AWESOME.

  32. krisdylee

    #70 – tsarinaamanda
    Normally I enjoy being a cunty sarcastic bitch, but I’ll let it go just today, to let you know natural childbirth is not that fucking bad. Yah, it hurts, yah there’s blood, but the recovery time for that compared to major abdominal surgery is waaaaay shorter. Also, there is the power trip one gets as well. I had both babies naturally, no drugs, and I would do it again, the same way.

    That being said, Angelina’s snatch has been stretched so many times, a baby coming through it wouldn’t have made a difference.

  33. krisdylee

    snatch is a cool fucking word.



    yeah, it’s my word of the day today.

  34. tits_on_snack

    A written letter of permission to enter the country and take pictures of their baby?
    I think it would be great if everybody was like “Meh, we don’t care anymore about you two and your stupid baby.”

  35. tarjamarja

    A couple of years ago I heard a rumour about going through a pregnancy in the celeb style. Apparently Victoria Beckham, for one, was very much into the whole thing. At first you have your implants removed because pregnancy makes your boobs grow and they don’t want the skin to stretch. Then, to avoid the mother-to-be from getting too big/fat/uncomfortable/whatever, the baby is delivered via C-section about a month before the due date. The baby is whisked away and the new mother remains on the operating table and has a tummy tuck, lipo of the thighs and butt as well as new implants.

    I though the rumour was ridiculous, but so many celebs seem to be having their babies via C-section these days and

  36. Ella

    I just wanna say that I find most of the coments I read hilarious; people like #12, 15, 17 and 20 are at the same level of the hilarious author of the original posts. You make me laugh, thanks :D see ya

  37. Ella

    Sorry, I forgot to mention, but #18 is the most hilarious…lolol ;)

  38. Nubgod

    Agree with # 4 .. this site rocked…but know it’s just dooo dooo … what does it take half a week to get post up in here…make some up if your contacts aren’t as good as that big fat guys that latches on to Paris..

  39. rnbri

    Well I for one, am EXTREMELY happy for them. I think Shiloh Nouvel is a pretty and exotic-sounding name that will definitely fit her. I have been waiting for this baby to be born for soooo long!

    Oh yeah, has anyone thought about how a few weeks ago Angie said she was not quite 8 months and now the baby is born? lol Anyway I wish nothing but happiness for their beautiful family. AND i’m waiting anxiously for the pics!

  40. lurkerx

    Snatch is a cool word. And a cool thing. And natural childbirth isn’t so bad from a man’s perspective as long as the woman remembers to do Kegels.

    And what the hell is up with female circumcision? More like clitoral amputation. Even if I was a selfish sexual bastard, I’d still want the woman to thrash around, make weird noises, and get off, otherwise, you might as well retire to the bathroom with a bottle of lotion.

    Freaky ass culture.

  41. Yeah… so… the (witch?) doctor got to see Angelina’s super-stretched tang. Niiiice.

  42. Sheva

    Shiloh Nouvel is actually a name derivative of the American Hopi Indian. It means she of cratered face and beestung lip.

    So she’s named first for her father who has ravine crevices in his face and Anglina’s favorite actress: Barbara Hershey, the latter of collagen lip injection fame.

  43. HughJorganthethird

    Actually a nice name for a little girl if it wasn’t also the name of a very bloody civil war battle.

    I was hoping for Shemp, cause it’s good for a boy or girl.

  44. Ah, yes, I can see the rehab lineup now……Suri, Rocco, Prince Michael One and Two, Paris, Tallulah, Scout, and the Momma Bear, Francis Bean.
    Lourdes will be Shiloh’s sponsor, then they will hit rock bottom and decide to write children’s books.

    Man, I am happy so many of these morons are having kids… twenty years a seventy year old Oprah will have a “tell all” book weekly extravaganza……

  45. BigJim

    I’ve fucked plenty of chicks in the cunt, and it’s pretty darn special, I must say.

    But I only ever fucked one chick in the snatch, and it blew my fucking mind.

  46. BigJim

    Do you think what I just wrote would be bad enough to get me reported by Edna? (if she was still alive, that is).

  47. gammanormids

    Remember the time when babies were named Anne, Marie, Thomas, Charles and something liek that…? I miss those times.

  48. Sheva

    Jim, that comment isn’t going to do it. Now if you had said you had fucked a chick in the gunt then maybe.

    Cuz if there’s one thing Edna knows it’s that roll of fat above the snatch. And she’d hate you for thinking of violating it.

    She knows it’s only for gluttony and not to be violated by any man.

  49. Iambananas

    Like the thing they hold wheat in?

  50. Iambananas

    They are both white.. named Brad and Angelina and they name their baby somethings stupid like that? That’s pretty ridiculous.

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