Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are better looking than you

December 12th, 2006 // 147 Comments
superficial

  1. 86

    Brad’s jacket lining is polka dot. How funny.

  2. Frank "Grimey" Grimes

    I’m really not that Grimey. I swear.

  3. #49 see #46 and reevaluate

  4. PrettyBaby

    #48 Sorry, but gotta correct you there. Saw her interview with Diane Sawyer and she is stunningly beautiful withour makeup. Her skin is phenomenal due to the aforementioned beauty treatments that Superfish described:)

    #34 Rich, While your stabbing Angie with your gigantic cock, I’ll step in and “distract” Brad for ya. Never say I don’t got your back.

  5. PrettyBaby

    #53 See photoshop

    P.S. Now post yours…

  6. zena marie

    I hope they make a Vampirella movie. She’s be a stone perfect Vampirella.

    Poor Brad, he is starting to look worn around the edges. Her photos are stunning and she is one part beauty, one part artfully done plastic surgery & cosmetics, and one part good ol’ hollywood hype.
    Hey I buy it. I think she should donate a bunch of her eggs to charity (in Africa of course), so the earth can be populated with her genes via in vitro fertilization… an army of Angies, walking the planet. (ew)

  7. Alex

    PB, thou livest in Happy FantasyLand. I’ll leave you to your river running through delusions of masturbatory grandeur.

  8. stilagirl093

    You said it perfectly, Whammer Jammer. Angelina is completely overrated. Do we not all remember her from 5 years ago when she used to make out with her brother and tote around vials of Billy Bob’s blood?

    There are far more female celebrities out there that should be getting the praises you are giving to this phony.

  9. kart11

    looks like Angelina yacked up a small furry animal and placed it on Brad Pitt’s head.

  10. ch474

    I’d let her do me in a heartbeat, but yes, she does look better with an extra 10-15lbs and a little extra wardrobe padding from the Tomb Raider movies. Her necks’s looking a little stickish. I like the tattoos, it reminds me that deep down she’s one crazy psycho bitch who likes it rough. As for Brad, he’s realizing his pretty boy days are done and now will have to settle for roles George Clooney can’t be bothered with. A couple of bad movies and Angie leaving him for her brother and then he’s back to gay porn.

  11. blahblahblah

    Ahhh.I figured it out! Ok, ponder this: when Jennifer “I’m actually really homely” Aniston started dating Brad “I really do look like shoe leather!” Pitt, she was all nasty skinny too. And now…Angelina Jolie is all nasty skinny. Coincidence? No way….He must keep his women thin. Or dating him must be really really stressful.

  12. RichPort

    #54 – PBaby, I appreciate the support as always. If you could accidentally on purpose have him walk in the room when I have her howling like a wolf in heat, I’d appreciate that as well. Thanks!

  13. Gaby

    angelina and her brother look so much alike it’s scary. they have the sunken in face and big lips, they always look depressed and pale. AH. she’s a beautiful woman, but she’s a handsome man as well… isn’t that scary? as far as brad, he does NOTHING for me.

  14. Tracie

    #4 & #23 – Agree on the tats. Angie just said, “I think definitely before my son, I was a little nihilistic. But once I adopted Mad (Maddox) I knew I was never going to be intentionally self-destructive again.”
    Yeah, r-i-g-h-t. Like continuing to get ugly, fucking blue tattoos all over your body ISN’T “intentionally self-destructive”?
    And, although the lips are authentic, Ang HAS had some plastic surgery:
    http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/angelina_jolie.htm
    It’s too bad she can’t do anything about her veiny, skeletor arms.
    #43 – I believe the term used for Brad is “hygienically challenged”.

  15. Sway

    I don’t think Brad looks bad for a man that’s closing up to 50 years old :) He’s gorgeous with his blue eyes and smile. Angelina is stunning as usual. You can tell that he absolutely adores her, he looks at her with so much love in his eyes…

    And stop ‘remembering’ Angelina from when she was in her 20s and did stupid things like wearing blood veils and so on – it’s been 7 years, get over it already! She’s grown up a thousand times since then and I firmly believe that it is what you do for this world that makes you the better person… and not some old stories chewed by people over and over again, just coz they have nothing better to pick on!

  16. r02dawls

    don’t they look stoned to you? fuck it, I’M stoned.

    you know, i’m all for banging both of them… all night long… but i think i’d break angelina into pieces. her elbows look like weapons they are so bony and sharp. eat a pound of burger my dear.

  17. mia

    Oh look another skanky I love defacing my body with shitty looking pictures chick. Dime a dozen. Next stripper please!

  18. We all know that ya’ll.

    -Nerdbomber

  19. It looks like Angelina’s crying in the third pic.

    Maybe she caught a glimpse of herself in a reflective surface and realized you could project movies on her forehead?

  20. danielle

    Angelina is HARDLY beautiful. I mean:

    Unless beautiful’s definition has been updated in the new version of Webster’s dictionary.

    The woman looks like a bobblehead doll on crack. No, she looks like that blowfish that made a camio in Finding Nemo.

    Yeah, she looks like that.

  21. Sway

    Dear Tracie,
    What’s with the tattoos that’s so destructive? I myself have three tattoos, but that’s never stopped me from being the person I am today – devoted to her family, working, studying.. I’m planning to have a baby soon, too. But obviously with some people ‘a tattoo’ is equal to ‘destruction’ or something… My tattoos are art, just like Angelina’s are, my tattoos have a special meaning for me and my family. And it’s pity and sad that someone would pick on people’s tattoos just because they have nothing better to talk about…

    Oh, and just to you know, the pictures you compare here – Angelina is 14-year-old in the first picture and 30 or so in the second. Do you want me to show you pics od me when I was 13 and 30? because I’m sure you will start to assure everyone that I’ve done platic surgery – that’s how much I differ in the photos. Adolescents change every day. And you don’t have to thank me for the info.

  22. libtard

    God, I want Brad Pitt so bad. I have built a shrine in my home in honor of him and I follow him wherever he goes. I send him all kinds of love letters letting him know that we were meant to be together. Once, I broke into their house and tinkled on Angelina’s toothbrush. But does he recognize that we are soul mates??? NO!

  23. ToiletDuck

    #73…

    Libtard, I feel your pain – I also broke into Brad’s house some months ago, I collected some of his pubes and made a bracelet out of it, sniffed his dirty Jockey shorts and shaved my ass with his razor and kept the hairs…then I jerked off on his pillow…it didn’t make any difference though…

  24. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Obviously you’ve never seen me or you wouldn’t be making such an obviously false statement. If you had seen me the headline would be “Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are hideous, bony zombie-creatures compared to Osh, as everyone knows.”

  25. PrettyBaby

    #73 Fucking hilarious! LOL!!

  26. soho

    Dearest Angelina,

    Eat food.

    Love,
    soho

  27. ToiletDuck

    “Womb Raider”, starring Brad Pitt..

    nyuk nyuk..

  28. RichPort

    Hell, I’ll say it – she’s hot enough that I’d put up with a threesome. But Brad would definitely have to shave.

  29. loonie

    Standing ovation to all the cheaters in the world! Good job.

    To the rest of you non-cheaters, cheat so can have a plastic surgerized skeleton standing right next to you (if you’re a man), and you’ll have a moronic chipmunk(if you’re a woman).

  30. minniememe

    I’m sorry but I have to agree: that is one fugly dress

  31. PrettyBaby

    #80 tisk, tisk tisk I feel jealousy in you…

  32. PrettyBaby

    It is funny though that they bring Maddox and Zahara everywhere. But NEVER Shiloh. Is the child that incredibly beautiful?

  33. geena

    Angelina is looking too skinny though.

  34. ToiletDuck

    Shiloh cannot be shown in public, she is so incredibly stunning, so perfect and beautiful, that nuns cry when they see her and doves fall out of the sky… us common folks are not worthy of gazing upon this perfect child….

  35. Sdvora

    I don’t know…she looks kind of different to me. Like her lips are even fuller than usual and her nose seems more pinched. I wonder if she had some work done?…

  36. LoneWolf

    Her legs are too thin and her boobs are okay, but nothing special. Never really noticed her ass so there probably isn’t much going on there. That mole above her eyebrow has always bothered me, but otherwise I’d love to “foul” that face. And the things I would do to those lips…..

    That said, the whole do-gooder-ambassador-to-the-world schtick is so hypocritical given the way she’s lived her life that it kind of negates any of her good qualities (read: appearance). Net result: meh. There’s hotter chicks out there.

  37. cole007

    IN YOUR FACE, ANISTON, IN YOUR FACE! THEY ARE PRETTIER THAN YOU SOUR PUSS HORSE FACE – NEENER-NEENER-NEERER, AMERICA’S SWEETHEART IS ALLLLLL ALONE…. WAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! WHY DON’T YOU GO CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP ON YOUR HUGE, HORSE-SHAPED PILLOW?

    Ah… that being said, I refuse to eat until I am at least as half as skinny as pretty lips up there… hup, time to go the the gym….

  38. Brad Pitt is looking like Robert Redford.
    ;-)

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  39. PrettyBaby

    #85 & # 88 hahahahhahhahhah

  40. nychag

    brad wishes he was redford.

    he’s looking ugly next to ange. she’s so hot.

    jen atleast made him look good.

  41. debisis

    I hate the fact that both of these people are considered both attractive and talented…oh and humanitarians. Gha-yuck.

    The general-public opinion of how popular they are is just a reflection of how dumb our culture is over people, thier physical beauty, intelligence, and their ACTUAL intentions.

  42. jamieleigh

    I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Whoever Brad Pitt dates/affiances/impregnates/divorces/adopts African babies with, ends up looking exactly like him with that freakishly chiseled jaw. Remember when he and Gwenyth had the same jaw AND the same blonde hair cut? That was not right.

  43. debisis

    …and the fact they are so full of it [with regard to thier intentions..not to mention, crappy acting skills] while both are not even that bright and interesting disgusts me even more.

    Shit, Matt McCaughney and…Jennifer Aniston or any other celeb…but THESE two? C’mon people…and c’mon Mod, get real, THEY ARE NOT BETTER LOOKING THAN MOST PEOPLE.

    Give me a break.
    Come to Georgia, and you’ll find a hick that looks like Brad every ten miles or so and drag queen loaded on heroin ever mile and half in ATL that looks like Angela. Lord forgive my manners.

  44. debisis

    pardon me for my bad grammar from the post before, but i’m steamin mad at this bit about UglyBra-Gina.

    …again, THERE ARE SO MANY INTERESTING AND MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE AND TALENTED FOLKS OUT THERE FOR these two.

    For these two to become a standard for our pop culture…makes us all dum dums.

  45. 86

    94 did you say ‘ever mile and a half’?? Hahahahaha.

  46. debisis

    oops i did it again.

  47. Skip Smith

    >>”It is funny though that they bring Maddox and Zahara everywhere. But NEVER Shiloh. Is the child that incredibly beautiful?”

    Shiloh must be a fucking freak. Remember the Suri Cruise pictures? Everyone talking about how beautiful that baby was, and when we finally see it it looked like an encephalitic Eskimo? I’ll bet Shiloh looks like a crack baby with an engorged anus below the nose.

  48. Tracie

    #72 – Dear little lemming,
    You can go ahead and justify indelible ink pricks all you want, the fact remains that, unless you’re in the military or a gang, you’re nothing but a poser. Nothing screams a woman’s devotion to family, work and study like a tiger on her back, or flowers and a fairy around her ankle. Classy! You want art? Paint yourself a fucking picture, dipshit. And before you go and start popping out additional little lemmings who idolize and value celebrity culture more than any lifestyle they will EVER experience, you may want to go out and buy yourself a clue.
    And I do thank you, thank you for assuring me that this world is still full of self-righteous, sanctimonious assholes like yourself to ridicule on this site. HTH.

  49. twzzlrgirl

    I am not a lesbian either, but my god! i would do her in a heartbeat. And I’d gladly have sex with him, too. Or, both at once, come to think of it.

    They are a hot couple who clearly adore each other and are doing great things with their fame. I hope they make it past next year at this time.

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