Brad and Angelina to start the 100 mile high club

January 10th, 2006 // 40 Comments

bradcocky.jpgIn what is probably the beginning of a quest to adopt a needy space orphan, Brad and Angelina have paid for their reserved seats on billionaire Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic spaceship. Along with William Shatner, Robbie Williams, Sigourney Weaver and Moby, the pair will begin training in two years, and the actual trip will take place in 2010.

Please God, let that trip be televised, because I can’t picture anything more amusing. I’m pretty sure no human on the planet could stand even a 10-minute car ride with William Shatner and Robbie Williams without punching them in the groin about a thousand times, let alone a days-long trip into outer space. And if anyone can get away with jettisoning those two schmucks into space, I’m pretty sure those people are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Get Ready For Space Travel [Entertainment Wise]

superficial

  1. I think it’s only like a 30-minute flight. You pretty much go up, get to be weightless a few minutes, check out some starts, and then come back down. Kind of lame for the money since you can pretty much get the same feeling from smoking a little pot and jumping on one of the roller coasters at Six Flags.

  2. TorontoBaby

    I’d love it instead if these two would jump OFF a roller coaster.

  3. Sorry, Shatner and Williams are gonna train for this? How, by engulfing a case of freeze dried ice cream? 50 bucks says they don’t make it through the warm-up.

  4. It will be just like that scene in Moonraker, except it won’t suck and there won’t be anybody with giant silver teeth that can bite through steel. Wait, can William Shatner bite through steel?

  5. Another thing: how come no black people have signed up for this? That should tell you something. Until 50 Cent does it, they’re just a bunch of space dorks.

  6. Justin Cider

    Does anyone remember that episode of the Simpson’s where the Earth is going to be destroyed, and there were two rocket ships to escape the planet. Lisa and Marge were on the good one where all the smart people would start a new master race, and Homer and Bart were on a rocket with Tom Arnold and Rosie O’Donnell that was headed for the Sun… Well anyway, It sounds like Brad, Angelina, and the rest of those celebs are on the rocket with Tom Arnold headed towards the Sun.

  7. BrockSky

    As funny as it all is… I do believe the article states that it is Robbie (not Robin) Williams that will be on the flight. 1000 punches to the groin will have much less hairy landings but will surely ensue.

  8. CoJo

    Seriously, WTF is going on with these two, Superficial! I turn to YOU for the answers! Pregnant or not pregnant? Together or not together? I’m hearing rumors all over the place! Now they are planning a trip for 4 years from now? Most couples won’t plan a trip 6 months in advance…sounds pretty serious to me. Errrr!

  9. andrewthezeppo

    Can pregnant women fly is space?

    Also, since when can William Shatner afford the same perks as Brad and Angie, something seems seriously and mysteriously wrong.

  10. I thought LL Cool J was the token black actor that always ended up in scenarios like this. Is he going to have a song on the soundtrack?

  11. EZSlut

    Let’s hope they just keep going, and going, and going, into the space and never return….

  12. EZSlut

    andrewthezeppo, “since when can William Shatner afford the same perks as Brad and Angie”
    I think it’s after he killed his wife and collect the insurance money ;)

  13. I wonder how much THIS cost? Wouldn’t that money have been better spent, say, feeding all those damn starving kids in Africa that she’s always griping about?

  14. BOOTSY COLLINS

    i wonder if they need to get vaccinated or something. you no angelina has got to have something…herpes, vd next thing we will see on the superficial is that brads penis has fallen off and he has no blood left from angie sucking him dry

  15. I think it would be kinda cool if they a couple of seats dubbed “first class” and the rest as “coach” and have some sort of contest (like maybe in relation to worthiness to the viewing public) to decide who gets to sit there and act like they are better than the others. B/c one thing is for sure, Moby ain’t getting it.

  16. ShanDourdan

    Let’s hope this is just a trick to get them into space and then ‘accidentally’ lose them up there…For all eternity.

  17. ZoomBoy

    Giant gut.. floating, can’t seem to.. continue weightlessness without crying..!

  18. firecat

    “Stardate 2010, these are the voyages of overrated actors; aboard this vessel we have various performers who have banged Angelina Jolie.”

    I hope they have an ‘O’ Ring malfunctions

  19. MacMac

    “Can pregnant women fly in space?”

    Uh…if the flight isn’t until 2010, and it’s now 2006 when she’s rumored to be pregnant…hold on…she’s going to be pregnant for over 3 years?

  20. mrschickee

    Does anyone seriously think that this relationship will last until 2010? Anyone…..anyone?

  21. WaitWhat?

    No, I doubt this relationship will last till 2010, but if it does, they’re gonna kick everyone else off that spaceship and cram all 48 of their adopted children in there instead

  22. I bet they live as aggressive as they do in their movie Mr/Mrs Smith. “If you don’t sign those adoption papers Brad, your cut off off the nookie for a month with a beating from a glass vase”. 2010 isn’t that far away.

    William Shatner was a Pimp back in the day. Regardless if they were alien women and it was on TV. The character he played made him a hoe in cyber space. I bet some chemical inbalance cause William to loop back in time and take control of the ship when they launch. “Captain’s log: Angelina is now mine, Pitt has been relieved of duty”.

    Robbie Williams
    What purpose does he server again? Monkey Face? – http://www.promikatur.de/fileadmin/images/wallpapers/robbie-williams-wallpaper-1024×768.jpg

  23. MacMac

    48 adopted children….

    Does this make them the new Woody and Mia??

  24. Lynette Carrington

    We need to send Britney, K-Fed, Tom Cruise, Tara Reid, The Hilton, Olsen and Simpson sisters, Lindsay Lohan and Donald Trump. Permanent orbit, I say. It will sanitize the earth a bit.

  25. Candy Coated Unicorn

    Does this sound like a new season of the Surreal Life to anyone else?

  26. sugarplumbaby

    Expensive way to get high!

  27. sugarplumbaby

    to andrewthezeppo who expressed surprise that william shatner could afford this trip. Go here for pic of his waterfront malibu house.
    http://www.californiacoastline.org/cgi-bin/image.cgi?image=3844&mode=sequential&flags=0&year=2002

    I thought it was a shopping mall!

    And here is a pic of mine:

    http://www.californiacoastline.org/cgi-bin/image.cgi?image=3850&mode=sequential&flags=0&year=2002

    (I wish….actually it’s Barbara Steisand’s and she sued california coast line for posting it while back).

  28. hafaball

    Now if the thing blows up people might actually be sad. though Weaver is cool, she was in Alien.

  29. HollyJ

    @23 – Mac – only if Brad ends up fucking the kids.

    And WHY would Streisand give a shit if someone took a picture of her house from a mile away?

    Are we ‘little people’ not allowed to even gaze at her abode? Who the hell cares about her house?

    I don’t think any of this will come to pass, because I’m sure both Brad and Angelina will have been through six (or more) other lovers by 2010.

  30. OMG!

    Maybe they will meet L. Ron Hubbard somewhere up there and we will never have to hear about these 2 losers again.

    To make it extra-special, maybe Tom Cruise will be with them.

  31. ebayfan414

    UNCOMMONAMERICAN SAID: “Another thing: how come no black people have signed up for this?”

    Well, I heard that Kanye West was going to go, but he said that he found out that space is racist against black people, so he cancelled. Or he just may be a chicken.

    And the olsen twins and lindsay and nicole would LOVE space…they would weigh nothing! What more could you wish for?

  32. nikki

    CONGRATS TO MY FAVORITE COUPLE!!!!! :-)

  33. beachgirl53

    Angelina Jolie couldn’t be a bigger hypocrite. I mean, she’s an “advocate” for poor starving kids around the world (proving her dedication by adopting two of them), and here she is taking a completely frivolous voyage into outer space for a fee that is probably similar to the GDP of some of the nations that she condescends to visit.

    The jig is up, Ange- you’re as wasteful, materialistic and selfish as the rest of us. Stop pretending!

  34. gossipmonger

    beachgirl53 – JEALOUS MUCH???
    She has done more to help out humanity, and donated more money to those causes she supports than you will ever MAKE in a lifetime. So what, in spending less than what Paris WHOREton spends on a night out, she gets to go to SPACE and have an experience of a lifetime.
    Grow up, you whiny, jealous biatch! You WISH you were her!

  35. beachgirl53

    What are you, her mom? I’m kidding. Get over it.

  36. beachgirl53

    Actually, come to think of it gossipmonger, I’m not kidding. Since you seem to have such a boner for miss Jolie, let me explain something to you. Never once did I say that I wasn’t jealous- I never even referred to it. In fact, I was just pointing out the truth- that she is a total hypocrite.

    Think about it, gossip, she is trying to promote a selfless image by going out into the world and helping people. Cool. That’s fine. But at the same time, she’s leading a completely excessive lifestyle (as if going to space was a basic human need.) It’s condescending…and hypocritical. And before you blow a gasket- I’m not saying she’s not doing anything to help society; just saying she ain’t no mother Theresa.

  37. gossipmonger

    beachgirl53
    just so YOU know, fares for the space flight will start at US$208,000. Not exactly a kings ranson, huh? Less than what most people pay for their house, less than most stars pay for a weekend away… But if in your mind that makes her “frivolous”, then whatever… I stand by my prevous statement that she has donated more than you could ever imagine, in both time and money, and is she wants to spend some of HER own money on something like this, thats her right. And yes, sorry to say but you calling a woman frivolous that has donated millions and millions and so much of her own time, well, that does make you sound jealous.

  38. beachgirl53

    Once again you’ve managed to miss the point…just forget it.

  39. wow, sometime in 2010 one of those new ships is gonna explode and a bunch of famous people are gonna buy the farm – http://hollywoodsnark.com

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