Brad and Angelina to be, um, platonic husband and wife

Brad_Elope.jpgStar Magazine, beacon of all things true and not pulled out of asses, is claiming that once Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s divorce is finalized on October 2nd, and Pitt’s new movie, The Assassination of Jesse James, is done shooting, Pitt will begin plans to wed Angelina Jolie.

“George [Clooney] has offered his villa as a place where Brad and Angelina can be married,” a source tells Star. “And they told him they are seriously considering it.” An insider adds: “George says Brad is the luckiest man around. He thinks Angelina is smart, funny and even more beautiful in the flesh.”

You know all that stuff Noam Chomsky’s been saying for years about the five systemic media filters that distort and limit the amount of unbiased news we receive? Like “concentrated ownership” and “profit-orientation”? Well I think he neglected to mention a subtle but ever-present sixth filter, a filter I like to call “Hey guys, let’s see how many articles we can publish about Brangelina before Jennifer Aniston goes postal and takes out half of Hollywood!” Personally, I think it’s an issue that desperately needs the attention of today’s young scholars. I don’t know how Noam could have missed it. Plus I have no idea what I just said, so that’s always fun.