Brad Pitt’s Wax Statue Isn’t Creepy At All

July 26th, 2011 // 38 Comments

A freakishly lifelike wax statue of Brad Pitt was unveiled in Paris today at the Musee Grevin which I’ll assume is French for “Jennifer Aniston, please heist our shit.” And I use the phrase freakishly lifelike not so much as a compliment to the artist, but as a testament to how much Angelina Jolie and their 27 kids have sucked the very life out of Brad Pitt. Because I guarantee if you stood next to this thing long enough, it’d eventually sneeze before offering you the keys to a Ducati to keep your fucking mouth shut. “It’s parked out back, you saw nothing. Nothing!”

Photo: Flynet, WENN


  1. Sodomy_Is_For_Girls

    Wax philosophic, anyone?

  2. the one

    first bitches

  3. whatthe

    Why didn’t they make a statue of him from his hotty days? I don’t want grey goatee Brad!

  4. Angus

    Somewhere Jennifer Aniston is wetting her panties and Justin Theroux is sh*tting his.

    • What? Why? Because there’s a wax statue of her ex-boyfriend? That’s not a good reason, what’s wrong with them?

      • Colin

        I’m assuming that means wetting her panties as in, “this makes her moist,” and Mr. Theroueuax is shitting himself because as much as he tried to lay there lifeless, this is perfect for the ice queen. Looks like Brad Pitt, but without all those problems, like a pulse, or a personality, or that time when his tongue got stuck to her vagina.

      • Because she is going to sneak in during the dead of night and steal that thing and take it home. She will then probably mount a dildo to it and fuck it like an epileptic monkey.

      • I stink

        they were married.

  5. rough's no hypocrite

    Well! Benjamin Button is after all a french name.

  6. Richard McBeef

    $10 says there is a fleshlight mounted on the rear of that abomination.

  7. Brad Pitt Wax Statue
    Commented on this photo:

    The commercials are funny and all, but does Mayhem really merit his own wax figure?

  8. Deacon Jones

    The French hate us. Explains the look.

    (hunched over French artist, wringing hands, looking around)

    “Ze will look perfahhhct! oh yes, perfahct!’

  9. keep the ducati, i’ll take another harley or an american ironhorse

    • Drunk Driver

      American bikes suck.

    • RichPort's Bloated Balls

      Harley, really? You might as well own a Chrysler product, for fuck’s sake. Harleys are bloated, expensive, and unreliable pieces of metallic excrement. The only reason one could possible be interested in such a turd is that it is made in the U.S., which is of course a ridiculous justification to burn ~$15k. Merde integral.

  10. That’s fucked up. They really captured him in all this wrinkled, leathered, sunspotted glory.

    • anonymous

      That’s okay Jennifer Aniston will take that wax figure as is and do with it as NUNYOBIDNEZ stated on 7/26/11. Tht was so, so funny!

  11. Brad Pitt Wax Statue
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Billy Ray Cyrus!

  12. Brad Pitt Wax Statue
    Commented on this photo:

    Were these sculptures made by unpaid interns of the Musee Grevin in Paris?

  13. They captured the “Angelina Jolie sucked the life right out of me” look perfectly.

  14. adolf hitler

    bad artist. clooney looks like richard dawkins. lol

  15. dee

    Did they add “stench” into the wax, while designing Brad’s wax figure? Cause the man absolutely stinks all the time!

  16. TwentySomething

    Can we take this as proof that Angelina Jolie really is a succubus?

  17. the whole enchilada

    “I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. That or His Dudeness…Duder… or El Duderino, if, you know, you’re not into the whole brevity thing”

  18. the one

    ……..he looks like ‘Catweazle’, folks!!

  19. Brad Pitt Wax Statue
    Commented on this photo:


    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  20. Cakeflourz

    I’m thinking two things:
    #1 Wick
    #2 lighter

  21. Joni

    I don’t get why people are so bothered by this… the man is almost 50 years old. And I doubt he hits up the botox clinics like Angie. The wax figures are meant to be realistic… not idealized.

  22. Brad Pitt Wax Statue
    Commented on this photo:

    How can they get so much of it right and then screw up one part so badly. “God, I’m so tired of doing these things. Screw it; hand me the Nosferatu nose mould and let’s go for tacos.”

  23. Damien Nolan

    Brad is So handsome. I cant believe what a beard does to a person. He looks two different persons. I don’t miss his beard…

  24. old man

    They actually did a really good job on this one. The last few tussaud wax figures they’ve shown on this site have looked incredibly fake and half-baked

  25. Brad

    Brad Pitt cool guy. I advise to read his biography (who have not read) i

  26. kimmykimkim

    Well if he ever needs to fake his death in order to escape the dungeon princess, they can just use this thing as his body. Cuz seriously, this looks like taxidermy. Really good taxidermy.

  27. Brad Pitt Wax Statue
    Commented on this photo:

    film?I always thghout that there is some sort of discrimination when it comes to action films as far as awarding is concerned. It’s always the drama movies that are given consideration. Very seldom on comedy ones, & none with action films.AJ is already known as a very good performer in acting. Her awards are mostly in her dramatic performances.She just happens to be so well known in action movies. Nevertheless, regardless of genre: drama, action or comedy, her brilliant acting ability is always noticeable.Her Salt performance is an example. It maybe an action film but she is still had some dramatic moments… and NOT just an actress acting out a scene…she makes us feel the scene. She makes us feel not staged but showcasing real emotions thus producing a very effective cinematic moment for the viewers…especially on scenes with less speaking lines and let her facial reactions do the talking.For this year, i have a favorite scene from her movie Salt (I’ve not seen the Tourist yet), a scene when her husband was killed. For this scene alone from Salt, I FIRMLY & STRONGLY believe AJ deserves an acting award for this.I really love the way she handled & acted this moment. It really struck in my mind up to now.How I wish she will get nominated for Salt. The film might have received mixed reactions from the public BUT AJ’s performance was generally praised by everyone.When I watched Salt the first time & during this particular scene, the viewers were very silent….waiting what kind of reaction she would have after right before her very eyes, her husband was killed. I mean, that’s very difficult to emote two conflicting emotions: shocked/grief VS. pretending to just be calm or act as if it’s ok with her.This really blew my mind away. She was soooooooo good. Her emotions was just flawless.This scene is every difficult as she’s hiding her true emotions in that moment from the Russians yet her eyes spoke volumes.I remember a review that said:“…..some of the plot twists and really close shaves are too improbable to be taken seriously, but they still rip at our guts, because lead star Jolie depicts them with stunning realism.Best of all, she invests her complex characterization with a vibrant and vivid psychological life, the emotional “truth” of which is both undeniable and unassailable.The scene that best illustrates this is when the husband she loves is shot in front of her shocked eyes, to “test” her feelings.” If she breaks down, the Russians will know that she loves him too much for her to remain loyal to their cause; if she remains focused on their all-important mission, she can still be trusted.Well, Jolie’s portrayal of Salt’s feelings is so psychologically adroit that she is able to convince the Russians that she’s on their side, while making it absolutely clear to viewers that she’s dying deep inside her..That’s like juggling 12 balls in the air while turning cartwheels and singing the French national anthem backwards—but Jolie is able to pull it off.”

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