Brad Pitt Will ‘Stomp’ Vitalii Sediuk If He Goes For Another Lady’s Crotch

June 3rd, 2014 // 11 Comments

Last week, Brad Pitt was reportedly punched in the face by Ukrainian comedian Vitalii Sediuk whose schtick is usually burying his face in celebrity crotches on the red carpet. Which, according to Brad Pitt, is what actually happened until he was the one who punched. /heisenberg People reports:

“I was at the end of the line signing autographs, when out the corner of my eye I saw someone stage-diving over the barrier at me. I took a step back; this guy had latched onto my lapels. I looked down and the nutter was trying to bury his face in my crotch, so I cracked him twice in the back of the head – not too hard – but enough to get his attention, because he did let go. I think he was then just grabbing for a hand hold because the guys were on him, and he reached up and caught my glasses.”
“I don’t mind an exhibitionist,” Pitt continues, “but if this guy keeps it up he’s going to spoil it for the fans who have waited up all night for an autograph or a selfie, because it will make people more wary to approach a crowd. And he should know, if he tries to look up a woman’s dress again, he’s going to get stomped.”

“Look, I don’t like violence, but if some wacko’s out there trying to shove his face up a woman’s- ohmygod, is that Matty Mc?! How’s my beard? Does my beard look okay? Okay, shh, shh, pretend like we didn’t see him. Hey, Matt, how are you? What’s up? We were just over here talking about that dude who puts his face in people’s crotch. I mean, who even likes that right? Haha! Random guy putting his face all over another guy’s dick. Totally weird, right? That’s something friends do. Best beer friends. Ah, look at you laughing like you don’t know what I’m talking about. Get in here for a hug.” – Brad Pitt, Justice Stomper

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty


  1. I think in a situation like the one that Mr Pitt described the expression “reasonable use of force” should be broadly interpreted.

  2. anonymous

    That 70′s shit Brad Pitt likes to wear was hip and edgy when he was in his 20′s and 30′s. Now he looks like he an old man wearing his old man clothes.

  3. This guy has already been smacked across the face by Will Smith when he tried to kiss him at another red carpet event. He’s not going to stop until someone seriously hurts him. His pranks are juvenile and offensive, not funny.

  4. All of the photos I’ve seen of him crotch-mashing were with men, including himself. Did Brad just call himself a lady?

    • This asshole most recent attention fix before the Brad Pitt incident was sticking his head up America Ferrera’s skirt at some event.

      • I meant specifically the crotch-mashing, but realised afterward that the title of this article is not what Brad actually said.

        He’s lucky he didn’t get a heel in the eye à la Single White Female, pulling that shit. I see severe injury in his future.

  5. Degenerate

    Did you know Vitalii was in a porn (I think it was Bang Bus)? A porn in which he was not able to achieve an erection. Talk about cringe.

  6. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt Maleficent World Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, she married Bono instead of Pitt?

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