BREAKING: Brad Pitt Gives His Kids Soda. Gasp!

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have 27 kids, so short of running into their rooms firing shotguns into the air to wake them up – Which, by the way, I’m entirely cool with. – I don’t really see the need for a big kerfuffle over anything they do to somehow herd them out the door in the morning. Then again, I’ve never passed a baby through my pleasure hole (yet) and used said passing as a badge to declare my way of doing everything as absolutely right, so ‘the fuck do I know? Via The Daily Mail:

But Brad Pitt has confessed he sometimes resorts to desperate measures when he attempts to wake up his brood in the mornings – forcing them to drink Coca Cola for breakfast.
The Moneyball star said revealed he uses it as a sweetener for getting out of bed when he is rush to get them out of the door.
He said: ‘Listen, I admit there’s times like, “We gotta get up. Get up! Here’s your shoes. Here’s your shoes.”
‘”Drink this Coke. Drink this Coca Cola. Drink it all. Right now! Drink it! Drink it! Drink it!” Just so we could get ‘em up and going.’

Yes, soda is bad for children, but every once in a while isn’t going to kill the little buggers, so put down the NPR tote before somebody gets hurt. Also, everyone knows if you pump Asian kids full of caffeine, they’ll do sweet kung fu moves which is really the whole point of adopting one in the first place. Back me up, Katherine Heigl.

Photos: Getty