Brad Pitt Tried to Hire a Nanny That Looks Like Jennifer Aniston

May 18th, 2011 // 58 Comments

Because this narrative never gets old, Brad Pitt still secretly yearns for Jennifer Aniston so much that now he’s hiring nannies that look just like her behind Angelina Jolie‘s back. He’s like the Coyote trying to catch the Road Runner if the Road Runner always had really hard nips. Via Hollywood Life:

”When Angie found out, she absolutely lost it, and the two had a horrible fight the day after Mother’s Day,” the source says. “She is livid; she feels lied to and deceived.”
… And it sounds like Angie’s really upping the requirements for all future applicants:
“The first applicant Angie vetoed has a degree in child development, speaks three languages and knows how to box,” the source reveals. “Unfortunately, she’s also 24 years old, shapely and adorable.”

Of course, this makes much more sense than, I dunno, let’s say, Brad Pitt just going ahead and banging the real Jennifer Aniston whenever he wants. Because, seriously, all it would take is, “You were right, kids suck,” and five minutes later she’s screaming “Zamboni me!” because her vagina’s an icebox. He’d have to wear a blindfold just to make it challenging.

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Looks like Brad just went down on the icebox then.

  2. Jen

    Well, looking at Arnie’s nanny, it seems like it doesn’t matter what the nanny looks like………Might as well choose one that’s cute!

  3. The Critical Crassness

    Fish, why do you continually quote crap from the drug-addled minds at Hollywood Life? Every story they have ever printed about Brangelina has proven to be a steaming load of horse manure bigger than Charlie Sheen’s annual coke intake.

  4. i’d bet jolie’s the coolest person in the world til you cross her. then woe betide. pitt’s playing with fire. and enough with the elvis costello glasses

  5. Luv2Watch

    I’d be terrified of her every minute, of every day, if I was him.

    And yes, lose the glasses AND the nasty graying goatee thingy. ugh.

  6. What kind of retard had to be told that dating a batshit crazy chick and hiring a young hot nanny was going to be a bad combination. I guess the .001% chance that it might work out to be the erotic chain reaction of a lifetime might be worth it now that I think about it.

  7. Vivian

    That sounds like tabloid stuff to benefit sales..she’s livid? I mean were they actually there and then to see her face?

    Angelina should go ahead and hire the degree holding miltilingual shapely and adorable 24 year old nanny and bang her hersefl, didn’t she swing both ways at some time?

  8. Brooke

    I know we are all supposed to be way past the Jenn/Brad/Angie love triangle, it did all happen YEARS ago. However, when I see these stories I do wonder if Brad ever wishes he’s of just stayed with Jenn…I mean when he got with Angie she was gorgeous and so was he. Now they are both (Brangelina) looking so old. Whereas, Jenn still looks pretty much the same! I know Brad wanted kids and all, but I really wonder if he wanted as many as he ended up with, half of which are adopted. Instead of ending up being a super hott couple, Brangelina are icy. It is like they were so much better apart than together. I for one, am not a big JennAnn supporter, in fact I always liked Angie more than JennAnn until she stole Brad (I don’t like home-wreckers, even if it is Hollywood and no relaysh is sacred), but I now wish he had stayed with JennAnn…Maybe had he of stayed with her he’d still look hott and that goes for Angie too..I think anyone would be crazy not to wonder what if..I mean who cares how hott someone is, if they are as cold as ice then who would want to be with that? and Angie seems like an ice queen!

    • Over thinking…don’t let this happen to you.

    • jerk

      I started to read your comment, but the–ZzzzzZZZzzzZZZZ

    • JungleRed

      Go feed your cats.

      • Luv2Watch

        Brooke, honey, I agree. But it could have been said like this:

        “I liked Angie better, but not after the whole stealing Brad deal. He looks like he wishes he was still with JennAnn. Brangelina look old, haggard and unhappy.”

        See? Nice and simple. :) Ya’ll leave her alone, she meant well!

    • That Bastard Tony

      The moral of the story is “Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it… in droves”.

      The reason why he got with Angie is obvious; she was insane in bed. As I’ve said on here before, every man has a woman in their past that was their best lay. We just had enough sense not to marry or have kids with her because chances are, she was batshit crazy in and out of the bedroom. A stable mind and reasonable skills in the bedroom is always better in the long run.

    • ME

      Please get a life. For your sake…and ours.

    • Dan

      Brooke is right.

      Though JennAnn is continuing to make stupid men choices.

  9. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Polk
    Commented on this photo:

    The look of a man looking for a way out.

    The look of a woman who will do anything to prevent it.

  10. Karen

    Did Brad Pitt hire a pedophile to replace his stylist?

    • Bucky Barnes

      Nope, Catholic priest. Oh, wait…

    • BradsPittHair

      Geez, that was priceless. Wonder who would be spreading this so newsworthy bs, ForeverAlonistin’s pr person. They need to be fired and someone please put Aniston out of her (and our) misery. This bitch will, I repeat, do anything dumb and ridic for attention/ so-called bad press for Angie.

      GO AWAY FOREVERALONISTON, you are like a 5 day old turd compared to Angie-a glittering diamond born from a unicorn’s magical silvery husk.

      This would be believable if it were Angie trying to hire an attractive female ‘assistant’. (Aniston look-alikes do not qualify as hot by any means)

  11. TomFrank

    Did they mention who this nanny is? Because it occurs to me that a certain California domestic worker who doesn’t mind fucking the boss has recently become available. She’s about the same age as Aniston, same hairstyle, and there IS a resemblance…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/18/mildred-patricia-baena-mo_n_863406.html

  12. MisterSuccint

    Madam Tussauds today unveiled its newest creations.

  13. Who are the mysterious source assholes who are always somehow privy to these conversations? Whenever one of these clandestine “sources” shows up it always smells like a fat pile of bullshit.

    • BradsPittHair

      Aniston, who has the brain of a 12 yr old (that’s giving too much credit) and LIVES and DIES by the press.

      For ex: last week a 2 month old belated announcement (so newsworthy) that Aloniston’s doggie died. Oh geez, barf, the poor old thing is glad he doesn’t have to look at her face or hear her whiny babbling anymore.

      ForeverAloniston is a cheesy guy in a polyester baby blue sportsuit, always trying to vy for the attention and spotlight, and is under the delusion that any attention is GOOD attention.

      Think the timing people, the Cannes film festival, Brad’s film, Angie’s worthy causes de jour. ForeverAloniston is evil and remains the subject if well-deserved internet public ridicule. The end.

  14. cc

    Yes, well, if you see pics of Aniston in lingerie in her latest, terrible movie you’d who looks like that too. And if you are Arnold or head of the IMF, 10x more so.

  15. Pippy Longcockings

    He looks like he’s getting ready to host “Masterpiece Theatre”.

  16. Deacon Jones

    He’s the next Clooney in the making….

    There’s going to come a tipping point, whether it’s the 7th African child they adopt, the ice cold glance he gets when he asks her for a hummer, something is going to go *SNAP* and he will proceed to go on a 10 year tear. One for the ages.

  17. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks ridiculous.
    And she looks fucking movie star awesome.

  18. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she steal Reese Witherspoon’s chin?

  19. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She has ghoul hands.
    He looks like he’s about to give her a nip squeeze. Ain’t that sweet.

  20. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfect Stepford Wife public persona presentation.

  21. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sick of it all.

  22. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    They sure do look miserable & unhappy together.
    They both be actors. Who the hell knows?
    All I do know is that Brad Pitt used to be somewhat attractive, and now appears to be going greasy pimp Vegas style in a big way. So silly.

  23. I said it before and I’ll say it again, Angelina is now looking more and more like a skinny version of Nadya Suleman. You go, Ocotoangelina.

  24. Cornelius

    I don’t believe this story for a second.

  25. Big deal, a lot of women look like that. You meant “desparate”, right?

  26. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Commented on this photo:

    To herself: “How can I love someone who half-asses his Nazi salutes like this? He says he hates the Hollywood Jewocracy, but…I just don’t feel the raw antisemitism. Maybe I’ll give Mel another call…”

  27. Muffy the lesbian

    Angie has that desperate I’ve had way too much plastic surgery and I look like an alien look to her now.

    • SayWhat?

      Haha, haters gonna hate. But it is common knowlegde her beauty is au naturale from the inside out.
      Nice try but FAIL. Are you just jellis of the slim beautiful woman, now aren’t you-because you are neither of these and you eat more than a lumberjack and are lazy… just for starters.

    • Omi

      Let me tell you taht Jenifer Aniston is Plastic queen : 3 Rhinoplasties, lipo-suction before famous, chin fixed, wrinkles and lines removed by botox , fake young by botox either, Fake boobs, big thigh fat was removed, ,skin peeled, fake tan, fake hair color, fake blue eyes, etc….Jen is plastic women not Jolie

  28. the captain

    why didn’t use arnold schwarzenegger that trick?
    …….IT F*CKS EASIER!!

  29. Louie

    What is it about these so “famous” stars that think they can wear anything (like those fucking siily glasses) and think they are so freaking cool! Sorry..Brad..you suck..when was the last time you made a movie worth watching????

  30. bitingontinfoil

    …..yeah like hiring an ugly nanny/housekeeper worked for Ah-nold! Funny how “hawkish” Angie’s looking lately – she’s not gonna age well. As for Bradley, well, everyone knows “douche” is the new black!

    • ME

      Angelina is still the most beautiful woman in the world and she’s 35 now, so I would say she is aging very well.

      • MIREL

        I agree with ME. Angelina is beautiful, loves children (and shows it), she is talented, mature, and is always pending of children rights. She is not with a flaky smile the whole time just to please paparazzis. It is OBVIOUS Bratt is so in love with her not just for her beauty but also for her human qualities. They are TOGETHER, they are the real thing, they have KIDS. She is the one. In fact, by now she has been with Bratt more time than she was with Jenn, so people, please get a life and move on with this subject. THEY ARE ONE COUPLE, THEY ARE TOGETHER, it’s not easy having paparazzis on your butt every move you make.

  31. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    emuchic
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s been glowing lately, literally- her skin is always glowing. She usually wears straight column gowns, unlike the gathering at the waist seen in this dress. who wants to bet angelina is pregnant again?

  32. Asuigeneris1

    Most of his movies are worth watching…come back out from under your rock maybe?

  33. Angelina Jolie Brad Pitt
    Cass
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or does she look like long-brown-haired version of Cameron Diaz on this picture ?!?
    Either that or I’m just so not used to see her smile that I can’teven recognize her when she does

  34. bee

    Ah ha, he missing the fugly fat face Jen

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