Jesus. Is Everyone On Bath Salts?

April 5th, 2011 // 45 Comments

While Angelina Jolie is in Libya saving refugees by stealing their children, Brad Pitt ran around LA last night looking like this. While the easy joke is that he’s drunk, clearly this is the face of a man who can finally take a leak in his own house without the United Colors of Benetton watching him. “Haha, I’m leaving the door open… Now, I’m peeing… Peeing… Almost finished… Shaking it… Shaking… Still shaking… Shaking… For the love of- Annnggg, it won’t stop dripping again! Oh, right.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. “Hey, check out my divorce papers!!! I’m gonna be free bitches!!!! Wooohoooo”

  2. Brad Pitt
    Justin
    Commented on this photo:

    Mickey Rourke has never looked better.

  3. Rancid

    What the fuck is up with people snorting bath salts?

    I used to do Crazy Foam whippets when I was a kid, but I shook that monkey off my back.

    • Dan

      I think they are only marketed as bath salts but are really some kind of drug that has similar effects to meth. You can get them at truck stop type gas stations – I have seen them.

      I am not sure what they actually do to you (news always hypes things up) – I am too scared to try any of them. I have enough trouble with my nicotine addiction (quit for the 15th (or 50th ?) time a week ago ;) ).

    • Until reading this, I had no idea “bath salts” was some kind of drug. I thought Fish was making a joke about Pitt looking a bit “light in the loafers” in this photo.

      I thought realizing I was out of touch with the youth of today would make me feel old, but since they all appear to be brainless morons, I actually like the confirmation that I’m nothing like them.

      • Mandi

        I know a place that sells them in IL, and they’re literally just vitamin B and shit. No weird chemicals or drugs. And people will pay $15 for 1/4 gram of that. I.D.I.O.T.S.

      • Mel Gibson's Shrink

        Same here. I didn’t even get the joke in the title. The Superficial comments can be very informative.

      • Richard McBeef

        Brad is clearly on a massive jenkem binge. Bath salts? Fucking amateurs.

  4. Ella

    Looks like he’s smuggling children in his pants

  5. Brad Pitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, these pictures look just like the ones Kevin Spacey takes of him in Se7en…creepy.

  6. Susannie

    ih,he’s been looking a bit tired lately

  7. Blueberry

    He is so mexican, I always tell everyone I think this I want him in the little jar of salsa by my bedside. I want to melt his dick cheese and I want to be his nacho. Brad Pi!

  8. Jock McCrock

    I thought it was Ben Affleck before I read the accompanying text. He seriously needs to lay off the facial ‘tweaking’.

  9. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    He looks like a shmuck.

  10. Brad Pitt
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    I… I think he’s prancing…

  11. Man he is happy to have a movie script in his hand and in turn get the fuck as far away as possible from AJ. I mean he is even holding it up to take a pic of it like Christmas morning. “This is my ticket outta here fellas!!!”

  12. Kel

    Sexiest velociraptor I’ve seen lately.

  13. Two Ton Tilly

    He is the happiest he has looked in years. Skelly Skull Fuck is halfway around the world wrangling babies. YeeeeHawwww!

  14. Brad Pitt
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he have small orphans in his pocket?

  15. Brad Pitt
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s fuckin driving? He is completely drunk on freedom! Isn’t anyone going to take his keys? Oh wait Angie should be home from saving the world soon.

  16. Brad Pitt
    Michelle
    Commented on this photo:

    Born to hand jive baby! great now that will be stuck in my head all day

  17. LEviC

    What is up with his hair on the sides?? Looks like a different person

  18. Brad Pitt
    LEviC
    Commented on this photo:

    dude is he losing the hair on his temples?

  19. don

    for those who think being with AJ would be the best thing on earth, think again. She’s a heroin/children addict nightmare.

  20. Brad Pitt
    Lou Polish
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly this is a man that just got the results from Maury Povich.

  21. Brad Pitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Epilepsy is not funny.

  22. Just wondering why all of the men on this site have a small pen!s.

  23. the one

    nope, he tried to look like a plumber.
    THE WASHING MASHINE WAS BROKEN.

    this is indeed a huge problem with seven kids!!

  24. Brad Pitt
    Synthe
    Commented on this photo:

    Pictured holding custody settlement.

  25. Henny

    Gone are the days of Tyler Durden. RIP Hot Brad. We’ll miss you.

  26. Brad Pitt
    silken_floss
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the Mexican guy side-eyeing him

  27. silken_floss

    Still hotter than half the guys his age.

  28. slappy magoo

    Is Brad doing an impression of a gay lawn jockey doing an impression of Carnac?

    “Cheap Easter bunnies…religion…cock…”
    “Name something that’s hollow…something you follow, and something you swallow! HEY-yoooooooooh!”

  29. Brad Pitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Judging by the smile, I’m guessing those are divorce papers.

  30. Lola

    Now that’s fuckin’ funny. United Colors of Benneton…pee…bathroom humor with a wee touch of racism…

  31. “The wife and kids are gone. Whee! What do I do? I know, I’m gonna run around and pose for the camera like I did back when I was relevant! Yay! Now what? Crap! I don’t know! Aw man, I’m so tired now. Can someone take me home? When are they going to come back?”

    He may not be married to her, but he’s doing what any husband with a crapload of kids does when he’s the only one left at home.

  32. Brad Pitt
    kikay
    Commented on this photo:

    hes not aging well!i guess having benetton kids can do that to a person,oh well,what are you gonna do!!

  33. Brad Pitt
    Titss
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope baggy pants come back in style, tight ones are so uncomfortable

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