This is Brad Pitt’s Assistant

August 22nd, 2011 // 189 Comments

Last week, the Internet was aflutter after photos surfaced of Brad Pitt with a comely young assistant, Lara Marsden, on the set of World War Z.

This is that assistant.

Now, while most people might be inclined to say Angelina Jolie better watch her back now that there’s a younger woman unweathered by the rigors of parenting in the picture, I’m actually more concerned about this chick looking young enough to live in fear of child snatching.

BRAD: Wait, why are there seven kids here?
ANGELINA: Because we have a new daughter! In fact, I think you two have already met. Lara, come over and say hi to your new daddy.
LARA: Hi, daddy!
BRAD: Sonofa- again, Angie?
ANGELINA: Don’t you dare bring up, Maggie! Not after she drowned in that tub like that!
BRAD: Baby, I’m sorry… Wait, Maggie? I thought her name was Julie. Maggie was my assistant on Moneyb- Ah, god, seriously, Angie?
ANGELINA: Let’s get tattoos!

Photo: Flynet

superficial

  1. zomgbie

    This is Brad Pitt’s Assistant
    that Angie cast a magik spell on so Brad will think his assistant is a man.

  2. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Honkey
    Commented on this photo:

    This is exactly why I love The Superficial: investigative reporting at it’s best!

  3. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Honkey
    Commented on this photo:

    Crouching Brad, Hidden Penis

  4. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Honkey
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn you, Brad Pitt…

  5. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it OK that I find her less hot because she uses MySpace?

  6. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Websugar.com
    Commented on this photo:

    Here is another picture of her:

    http://i.imgur.com/rCnI3.jpg

  7. Weirdo

    I’d like to splash some protein cream on that forehead to help clear up those pimples.

  8. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    juaquin ingles
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s gettin it hard in this one.

  9. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Cakeflourz
    Commented on this photo:

    0.o this seriously looks like my kitchen. If it wasn’t for that little bit of countertop sticking out closest to the camera, I’d say it was taken in my condo devlopment….

  10. wyatt

    we have had multiple details about angelina and brad’s affairs,but we never heard any reports about schwarzeneggar’s affair with his maid that went on for years,took pictures, he went to parties and had a baby. do noone not know or were they too busy chasing angelina and brad’s affairs.

  11. Vice Magnet

    This reminds me of the “I’m fucking Matt Damon!” song for some reason.

  12. Porkpie

    Look at that sweet little thang! How could you NOT stick your dick in her? She knew it, she planned to snag Brad with her twat trap. All women do this if given the opportunity. They’re nothing but moneygrabbing greedbags. Poor stupid Brad. He’s going to give up a lot for a few square inches of vagina. I hope it’s worth it.

    • Kikidee

      Well, hello mysoginist of the month! Do us all a favour and do not venture forth from your mom’s basement, because no-one will ever be even remotely interested in snagging you. Sand-bagging you, perhaps, but that’s stretching it…

  13. forrest gump

    you’re still surprised americans f*ck their nanny?
    …………….HOW NAIVE.

  14. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Definitely more doable than Angie.

    • curiosity

      Maybe that’s why she’s his ass…istant? And Angelina is getting thinner and thinner… Sometimes I wonder if she’s truly happy. She sometimes smiles only with her lips while eyes showing nothing. :/

  15. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    See what happens when you share a couple of quarts of tequila with your dog.

  16. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Honey? That’s not the recommended method of cleaning up after your dog.

  17. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure there’s an X-Wing fighter in the harbor?

  18. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, yes! Caught by the old ‘sploding cigar trick.

  19. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    That blurred face is actually Chris Hansen.

  20. keijo

    He is so banging her.

    I would.

  21. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    beany
    Commented on this photo:

    she got a nice little turdcutter.

  22. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Dan
    Commented on this photo:

    Girls do this all the time, while it might be hormones, or simply cute to some, I think they really are just frackin stupid. It’s in the genes.

    • Boston Mike

      Why don’t you take that stick out of your azz, Dan? Some guys (like myself) actually like when girls can act silly and be themselves rather than being uptight and ladylike all the time. Of all the gals I’ve dated in my 30+ years of life, the best relationships I’ve had have been with girlfriends that had a good sense of humor. That’s probably one of the traits I value most.

    • College Girl

      “I think they really are just frackin stupid. It’s in the genes.”

      BWAHAHAHAHA!!

      Dan, sorry to burst your bubble but everyone knows it’s men who are the much more STUPID gender. It’s been scientifically proven you’re all social retards who cannot grasp social cues. Your higher levels of testosterone also make you much more violent, stupid, aggressive, volatile, moody and reckless.

      Why do you think there are 10X more men in prison than women?
      Why are men more likely to be deadbeats than women?
      Why are men more likely to be rapists and pedos than women?
      Why do men constantly start dictatorships, wars and genocides all over the world?

      Because your TESTOSTERONE makes you intellectually inferior. It’s a scientific fact.

      Deal with it, retard. Or in your white trash lingo: Cryin’ and moanin’ ain’t gonna make you none smarter!!

    • heather

      frackin LMAO

  23. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Manowl
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking mutant leg!

  24. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    J.R.
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey! Wash the frickin’ dishes, will ya?! JUST what we wanna see.

  25. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    No, NO!
    You’ve got The Crane all WRONG, miss!!

  26. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    XD
    Commented on this photo:

    “He wears a red bandana, plays a blues piano, in a honky-tonk, down in Me-xi-co…”

  27. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    decalex
    Commented on this photo:

    two questions:
    1. where is the other girl
    2. where is the cup?

  28. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    rm
    Commented on this photo:

    getting cornholed for sure.

  29. dee

    come on guys.
    You really think Brad would turn this down?

    Brad: Hmmm..what to do, what to do?..Screw the 98 lb sack of bones I got at home
    or some 29 yr old, who’s willing to climb up on my 48 yr old boner.
    She’s willin, Brad be fillin.

  30. Kay

    Eh, she seems pretty average to me. Probably looks pretty with some makeup on, but I imagine if Brad Pitt was in the market for a mistress he could do MUCH better.

  31. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Licialicia
    Commented on this photo:

    hotness immediately disqualified due to stupid ass duckface picture.

  32. Audieme

    L to the E to the S to the B to the I to the A to the N

  33. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    impyc
    Commented on this photo:

    ugh what in Bobs name is she doing with her face? She could look cute, but damn, it does not help when you make those expressions, sweety.

  34. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    impyc
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if she has any idea of how degrading and not cute that is. Sigh, and ugh. Just, ugh.

  35. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    impyc
    Commented on this photo:

    and this is what happens when you take that much ecstasy at once….kids these days, don’t know their limits

  36. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    skeelosta
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how many times, brad tapped that?

  37. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    xxlxx
    Commented on this photo:

    I know Lara, lovely girl!

  38. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    brainP
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet he’s shagged her, if he hasn’t he should!

  39. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    anthonyOA
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gonna need you on my desk by Monday…

    …who’s Freudian?”

  40. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    different people clean floors in different ways … I like her method.

  41. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, but that tennis ball is history!

  42. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Floor gets slick after you do that several times.

  43. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrong kind of mud pack, dear.

  44. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    yes, the little red light means it is ON.

  45. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    no, dear, there are no snowflakes in the harbor to catch on your tongue.

  46. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve heard of going vegan, but this is ridiculous.

  47. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    TaT
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like skeletor…………seriously. I’m not hating, I will admit when I see a beautiful girl, she’s not, at least not to me, I think she’s ugly and she looks dirty.

  48. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    m
    Commented on this photo:

    “its in the genes”
    the way you said that made it sound like you actually think genes predispose people to certain specific acts like a computer program does for a pc or something…..
    you say as if its something pseudo-scientific take on fate…..

    let me guess…you think 1+1=3 , the world is flat and or evolution theory purposes we came from monkeys

    i love people who “educate” themselves by “researching” stuff via pop-culture

    @college Girl

    there were plenty of female rulers who started wars, ruined empires by having incestuous relationships with their sons.

    implying one sex is intellectually inferior does not make you sound any smarter
    “its been scientifically proven”…uhmmm…no ….feminism is in a postmodern limbo and no one is claiming any absolute truth about the sexes regardless of how scientific data can be reduced, presented and interpreted.
    also….you are using the term “gender” as if it referred to sex—male and female..
    gender—-is a role/act that people adopt/play out
    i know you are a intellectually superior woman armed with indisputable scientific truth …but next time check what a word means before you start using it to bash someone with your pseudo-intellectual/undergrad hissy fits.

    nothing dumber than B average university undergrad.
    given every oppertunity, they are never the toughest kids in highschool nor the smartest afterwards… despite being intellectually and physically average at best, they relish in their B average mediocrity and by using words like “stupid” ,”educated”, and push the boundaries of irony.

  49. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, she looks to be underage…or just very much too young for Brad Pitt…lol I would hope he didnt shag her.

  50. Brad Pitt Assistant Lara Marsden
    Name (required)
    Commented on this photo:

    So she is setting up the auto timer to shoot pics of her doing back flips in the kitchen in a pair of panties? okay. gotcha.

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