This is that assistant.
Now, while most people might be inclined to say Angelina Jolie better watch her back now that there’s a younger woman unweathered by the rigors of parenting in the picture, I’m actually more concerned about this chick looking young enough to live in fear of child snatching.
BRAD: Wait, why are there seven kids here?
ANGELINA: Because we have a new daughter! In fact, I think you two have already met. Lara, come over and say hi to your new daddy.
LARA: Hi, daddy!
BRAD: Sonofa- again, Angie?
ANGELINA: Don’t you dare bring up, Maggie! Not after she drowned in that tub like that!
BRAD: Baby, I’m sorry… Wait, Maggie? I thought her name was Julie. Maggie was my assistant on Moneyb- Ah, god, seriously, Angie?
ANGELINA: Let’s get tattoos!