Brad Pitt Might Marry Angelina Jolie

In an interview with USA Weekend to promote his new movie Tree of Life, Brad Pitt reveals he’s contemplating making an honest woman out of Angelina Jolie because marriage has worked out so awesome for both of them in the past:

Though he has said the couple would wait to wed until gay people could do so legally, he now acknowledges that the timetable may change. “The kids ask about marriage,” he says, sinking wearily into a sofa. He takes a sip of cappuccino. “It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at.”

Wait, the kids are pushing for it? Aren’t half of them adopted? Because that’s bullshit. You don’t repay a man for kidnapping taking you into his home by forcing him down the aisle. I’m serious. If it weren’t for Brad Pitt, they’d still be sitting in a third world country, or worse, adopted by a guy with a whip who makes them crawl into holes looking for treasure because they’re small and Asian. Little bastards don’t know how good they got it.

BRAD: Alright, now climb down into that pit of snakes and, I dunno, grab some old jars or something.
MADDOX: Is this because I said you should marry mom?
BRAD: Ha! What? No. How long do you think I hold a grudge? *carves “Jennifer Aniston’s pussy is a snow cone” into the wall*

Photo: Getty, Splash News