Brangelina Got ‘Commitment Tattoos’ Before The Divorce, Whoops

“Bob, she wants us to get matching tattoos. What do you think?”
“I think you should have kept your dick out of crazy, that’s what I think.”

Since they were apparently taking their relationship cues from Leif on Crashing — Is that show big enough for a broad reference? Eh, fuck it. You can Google it. — Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got commitment tattoos in February of last year, just seven months before he tried to drunkenly commandeer a fuel truck and drive it straight into Kate Hudson’s butt. I may have paraphrased some of the details there. Via Huffington Post:

The two reportedly visited Ajan Noo Kanpai, a world renowned tattoo artist in Thailand, to get tattooed using the same ink in February 2016. Kanpai is famous for his Thai Yantra tattoos ― hand-etched designs meant to offer the owner blessings and protection. Jolie has previously visited the studio two times before, most recently receiving a a large tiger tattoo on her back in 2004.

According to the tattoo artist’s website, Jolie got three new tattoos on her back, while Pitt chose to have a Buddhist symbol inked on the left side of his stomach. Kanpai also noted that he used the same ink for both of their tattoos, so that they are “symbolically bound as husband and wife.”

The tattoo artist continued, “Then they went to PacSun and got toe rings to symbolize each of their children and hemp hair wraps to signal support for sustainable farming. Brad would later return to the studio without Angelina to get a small, erect nipple tattooed somewhere she would never see it. It’s over his heart, but I made it look like the ‘i’ in Shilo– Wait, is this on the record?! OHGODNO, MY CHILDREN! *tears open shutters, sees terrifying black bird with giant lips yank them into the sky*

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