Blake Shelton Tells Westboro Baptist To Blow Him

Before I begin, if you’re wondering how Blake Shelton is even still alive to tweet after stealing Kathie Lee and Hoda’s wine, their dungeon has WiFi. Now that’s taken care of, here’s the latest round of country music stars making me like them despite hating 98% of their audience. This time Blake decided to tell Westboro Baptist Church members to blow him for planning to picket his October 2 concert because Miranda Lambert is his second wife. Once you tell God you’re going to stick your penis in one hole, it’s that hole for the rest of the life or there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Which, ironically, is also a metaphor for marriage, so now you see why I don’t listen to The Bible:




If anyone needs me, I’ll be sampling Skoal and getting one of those poop-snake license plates that say, “Don’t Tread On Me.” Hold my calls. THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter Photo: Getty