BREAKING: Blake Lively Has Hair

Here’s Blake Lively at the Time 100 Gala last night where she showed up with red hair that I honestly didn’t even notice until I saw headlines screaming it. Because here’s how every guy looked at these and apparently so did Blake Lively:

“Hey, hey! Yeah… Ah, dammit, looked at her face. Back to the breasts, back to the breasts!”

Every woman:

“Fat, horse-faced bitch. STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!”

Black person:

“Who this? Jessica Simpson? White women all look the same.”

And finally Asians:

[Insert car crash and/or math here.]

Now to return from whence I came. *takes off turquoise blazer, gets in time machine, sets date to 1991*

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN