Blake Lively Quit Her Website Already
Last year, Blake Lively launched her own website Preserve because if Gwyneth Paltrow can get away with selling $1700 hip hop clutches, surely, that chick from that show can sell $25 jars of artisanal BBQ sauce. Except the site ran into some plagiarism problems in the middle of going Paula Deen on the Antebellum South, and now Blake’s packing it in because somehow none of that affected anybody’s life in a meaningful way. What are the odds? Via Vogue:
“We have an incredible team of people who do beautiful work, but we launched the site before it was ready, and it never caught up to its original mission: It’s not making a difference in people’s lives, whether superficially or in a meaningful way,” she says, on the phone from New York. “And that’s the whole reason I started this company, not just to fluff myself, like, ‘I’m a celebrity! People will care what I have to say!’ It was so never meant to be that, and that kind of became the crutch because it was already up and already running, and it’s hard to build a brand when you’re running full steam ahead—how do you catch up?”
I’m sorry, I started masturbating as soon as I saw “superficially.” What did she say again? More importantly, is there an anecdote about how everyone thought she was selling jelly? Can we get a jelly story?
Will it still be called Preserve? Well, maybe not. “I love the name Preserve. But then, I never thought people would think Preserve had something to do with jam!” Lively laughs, “Like, ‘Oh, you sell jams!’ ‘No! It’s like preserving things and us and life and artisans!’” She sighs. “These are all of the things you don’t think of when you’re too intimate with something.”
In Blake Lively’s defense, it is very, very hard to run a successful website. You can’t just be some asshole in his underwear with a stack of titty photos who loves to hear himself talk. Except just kidding, that’s literally all it takes, and now that Blake Lively’s seen my impressive resume, I’m willing to accept a job offer on her next site. Let’s start the bidding at I see one boob and nobody tells Hilary Duff. Can I get one boob here?