Posted by Photo Boy
Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio broke up yesterday. I was going to leave this story alone so that Fish’s heart may soar with exaltation (Read: Feverishly masturbate to Gossip Girl while blogging about it), but it falls to me to bring you the tragic details about the downfall of Hollywood’s favorite months-long relationship. Their reps told Us Weekly they broke up, but will remain friends. Scandalous! This story couldn’t be more vanilla unless it was Jesse James‘ Nazi-poon hunting penis. Sure, we could start speculating that this had something to do with those leaked photos, or the fact that Leo’s mom swatted that shit away from her son’s wee-wee months ago but that would be losing sight of the most important aspect of this story. Blake’s breasts. Look up. My job is done here.