Billy Ray Cyrus gives Miley ‘the talk’

October 24th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Miley Cyrus apparently got “the talk” from her dad Billy Ray seeing as she’s turning 16 soon and dating a 20-year-old model Justin Gaston who may or may not want to have sex with her. (Jury’s still out.) Billy Ray laid it all out for Miley that her career hinges on her ability to sell Hannah Montana dolls to folks in the Bible Belt, so she better fly straight. Also, he ain’t giving up his diamond ter-let. The Sun reports:

A close family friend says Billy Ray told him: “We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion, but she’s at that age where she is bound to be experimenting and her hormones are going nuts.
“Miley’s career is just rolling along now and getting bigger and bigger. Everyone loves her and she has a shot to have a career like JULIA ROBERTS or JENNIFER ANISTON or someone like that. I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously.
“I think I made an impression on her; at least I hope so. I don’t want to forbid her from dating because that would just make her sneak around.”

So, basically, Billy Ray locked Miley Cyrus in a room full of “Jamie Lynn Spears shopping at Wal-Mart” pictures until she forged her own chastity belt. Now that’s just good parenting. I don’t care who you are.

Photos: WENN
superficial

  1. fuck

    first fuck

  2. fuck

    first fuck

  3. fuck

    first fuck

  4. fuck

    first fuck

  5. fuck

    first fuck

  6. Sport

    Looks like Dad already failed if the tramp is carrying around a fucking foo foo dog with her. Oh well – hello pr0n.

  7. Billy Ray Cyrus

    Of course I finished by saying what I always say to her: “them thar tits, that thar mouth, that thar hineyhole, that thar poon — THEY’S ALL MINE AND DONTCHU FORGET IT!!!!”

  8. Jiff

    9th you dirty whore

  9. TS

    Dude is still an unfit father letting his 15 year old daughter date a 20 year old fruitcake.

  10. Toot's bestest little boy

    When I’m president I’m gonna invite her to the White House and fuck the shit out of her. “Bring her to the big house so’s I can fuck her tonight” – does that ring a bell, good ol’ boy?

    I’m Brrrrrraaaaaaapppp Obama and I approve this message.

  11. OK… I used faked info to do this comment. I drink and I do coke.
    I consider myself responsible. My wife does everything with me. And we enjoy life. Do some coke once a month and fuck like crazy bunny rabbits.

    Even though I’ve snorted coke out of a carpet, (hey, it was really good coke). I would have washed my fucking dog. Poor little bugger doesn’t deserve that treatment,

    P.S. Fuck the FBI and CIA. I’m not American. No need to investigate this post.

  12. OK… I used faked info to do this comment. I drink and I do coke.
    I consider myself responsible. My wife does everything with me. And we enjoy life. Do some coke once a month and fuck like crazy bunny rabbits.

    Even though I’ve snorted coke out of a carpet, (hey, it was really good coke). I would have washed my fucking dog. Poor little bugger doesn’t deserve that treatment,

    P.S. Fuck the FBI and CIA. I’m not American. No need to investigate this post.

  13. Beth

    Wow, he mentioned Jennifer Aniston and he got her haircut from “Friends.” Dude seems a little obsessed with her.

  14. OK so just screw this… last post was meant for the Gary Busey thread.

    I tried 6 times to post this in the other thread because Firefox and NoScript were screwing with me.

    What happens? It Gets posted in the little tart’s thread. Great, fucking great.

  15. Hey TS, where ya been??

  16. Sport

    #12 you are full of shit little boy and off topic.
    Coke gives you a noodle dick – good try though tough guy. Try your right hand today for a change of pace buddy.

  17. pete

    He still didn’t give her the straight shit. He should have said “Miley, sweetie, I love you more than anything else in the world. But here’s the thing – you getting ugly, fast. Fuck up this cutesy-teenie role model crap and you’re done. In 3 years you’ll look like the ugly troll sister of that ugly troll Hayden Panettiere. If you have to fuck that redneck boy, make sure you use protection. If you get pregnant, your life is over. Plus I’m pretty sure he has HIV or is trying his best to get it.”

  18. #17, only if you do way too much

  19. Ted from LA

    This is a great picture of Miley and Tinkerbell. The dog looks cute too.

  20. But if you do too much heroin, you end up raising a kid by yourself. Poor kid.

  21. mamadough

    the funniest and most full of shit part: ” We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion.” LOLOLOL.

    sadly, i’m from the fucking bible belt. and yes, i say fucking bible belt, because that is what all the kids are doing out here. what these stupid ass christian parents don’t realize that when their kids are around 14-15 years old, they start sucking dick, they get drunk at parties, and they are fucking in cars, but they try to keep the noise down so the parents don’t hear. that’s normally on friday and saturday nights, while those same kids are in church sunday morning. and normally, the craziest fucks on the ones raised with the most religion. so parents, quit fucking your children up please.

  22. Sorry Billy Ray, but that girl is itching to make the bed spring sing the song of mercy….

  23. Binky

    (Overheard backstage after ‘the talk’)
    Miley : Daddy that wasn’t me into ‘sleep around’ thing. Really ! It was umm… Hanna Montana.
    BRC : Look you spoiled brat – I’m not as retarded as those morons on our show. See this ping-pong racket ? It’s going to achey breaky your ass.

  24. joho777

    That photo looks like some pedophile who’s just picked up an immature kid who is about to be raped and brutalized.

    Have fun, swetie!

  25. Sister Mary Doubledong

    That’s very true for the Catholic girls – they’re always the first to go ATM.

  26. Melissa

    I love how they keep throwing shit like this out there. Her star power is gradually fading, yet they shove this little kid down America’s throat because she brings in the bank. I hardly think she’ll be ANYTHING like Julia Roberts or Jennifer Aniston… ever. In twenty years, she’ll be doing come-back tours like New Kids on the Block are doing right now to pay for BK costs and drug addictions. Fuck the whole lot of them.

  27. Melissa needs to get laid.

  28. @17. Due to an unfortunate accident this got posted in the little cunt’s thread.

    It was meant for the Gary Busey thread. Whom I consider an excellent actor.

    And like like #19 said. “only if you do way too much”.
    If done in moderation and with your partner. It’s better then Viagra.

  29. 1 MILF Hunter

    If she only does anal can she still claim she’s a virgin?

  30. Fuck You

    He already fucked her so what is the point. I hate all this false image shit. Fuck you Hollywood!

  31. LANCE UPPERCUTT

    IT’S MILEY!

  32. Regis

    I would love to give her the talk….while my cock is in her mouth.

  33. Violet

    Jennifer Aniston has a career?

    Wow, that’s news to me. Only thing I’ve seen her in in years has been the tabloid pages.

  34. Zee Brat

    This was a really wierd thing to blog about. Whoever made the decision that this belonged here should be mocked publicly.

  35. mrsmouse

    Everyone loves her….

    Uhhhhh, no, not everyone. I hate her with the white hot passion of a thousand suns.

  36. Ted Mosby

    He is worried because if his meal ticket pans out he’ll have to rely on the royalities of Achy Breaky Heart and that doesn’t even by a can of Crisco anymore.

  37. Emmie

    “Everyone loves her and she has a shot to have a career like JULIA ROBERTS or JENNIFER ANISTON or someone like that.” Yeah she’s exactly like Julia Roberts and Jennifer Aniston….shes a little no talent slut,with a retarded face.

  38. CC

    Whoa check out his claw, he probably gripped her neck with the other. Looking at him you can just tell that he’s a fucking creep.

  39. Cyrus lives

    Tabloids and blogs need to stop pretending this is a real girl with real teenage problems. It’s obvious to anyone who can see that Miley’s body is possessed by a 1,000 year old witch. At least 1,000.

    No teenager acts like that, all seasoned and shit. Even precocious child actresses like Lohan and Dakota Fanning come off as awkward in interviews, but Miley is like Bette Midler in a nymphet’s body. You expect her to say things like “I’ve been entertaining for nigh on four millenia now; I remember when King Tut asked me to put on a little vaudeville number, I had a cute little outfit made with a tight top and jackal’s head and everything. But then they attached an asp to his balls and he died, that sucked.”

  40. Hill Billy Baxter

    Thats one proud papa right ther Yup, his daughters gonna grow up to be one fine country lady. hooooooooooooooooooooooooo Weeeeeeeeeeeee, she’s gonna fix my wagon, cook me up some beans, and milk my udder, yeeee hawww.

  41. Bob

    Um…someone want to remind me why a 20 year old is dating a 16 year old, again?

  42. Randal

    Who doesn’t remember that first talk with their mother or father. Talk about an experience that’s hard to swallow when we’re young but puts a smile on our face when we’re older.

    Billy, you’ve been nothing but a great inspiration to us over the years and obviously to Miley. You’ve done a wonderful job raising her and wish nothing but continued success for the both of you.

    Randal

  43. Oh boy, what I wouldn’t give to rail Miley in the stinker.

  44. dude_on

    She has already screwed herself and Disney out of the full take. There is no way parents are going to continue to encourage their children to flock to MIley – when she is doing semi-nude photo-shoots, photo leaks of her being stupid, and sticking her tongue out provocatively at adult men.

    If she hadn’t shown her redneck roots so willingly, she could have easily been a billionaire in just a couple of years, now as it is, look for her to complete a career crash-n-burn in a matter of weeks/months.

  45. H

    All those racey pictures aren’t enough to disqualify her as a role model for young girls…?

  46. Jamie's Uterus

    Didn’t he already use all 3 of her holes?

  47. devilsrain

    Cant wait til she does playboy. Im sure dad will make sure she gets a good deal.

  48. Mos

    # 42 said: “Um…someone want to remind me why a 20 year old is dating a 16 year old, again? ”

    Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because she’s still nice and tight? Are you gay or just a moron?

  49. EducatedMan

    She wont never be famous like them actors listed. EVER. Or even actors listed in B rated movies.

    Once Disney is done with her she will be a no body.

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