Billy Ray Cyrus loves using down home colloquialisms to discuss Miley Cyrus topless scandal

June 17th, 2008 // 64 Comments

Billy Ray Cyrus should be interviewed all day every day. The country star and father of Miley Cyrus (better known as Hannah Montana) stopped by The Today Show this morning to talk about the scandal involving a topless photo of Miley that appeared in Vanity Fair. Check out these awesome answers that run the hilarious gamut of poop and turkey necks:

On why he stayed quiet about Miley’s photos:
“My dad always told me the more you stomp in poop, the more it stinks.”

On the advice Kris Kristofferson gave him:
“And I remember Kris Kristofferson stopped me backstage at one of my shows and said, ‘Listen, hoss, always remember: The turkey with the longest neck’s always going to be the one everyone’s shootin’ at’.”

On the supposedly suggestive father-daughter photo:
“That’s just a daddy who loves his daughter a whole lot. If a daddy hasn’t hugged his daughter recently, I recommend he does.”

On his excuse for leaving the shoot early and not seeing the topless photo:
“I had a show to do, and an obligation, to go to Washington state … playing for the troops just back from Iraq.”

Billy Ray also added: “Yeah, the troops… and a group of scientists who needed me to play my gee-tar to cure cancer. Yeah. Dang gum diddily, I reckon all that stuff.” Wait a minute, he done served us a cowpie!


  1. Boston_Freek


  2. p0nk

    Dear Billy Ray,
    and what are your thoughts about your 15yo daughter boinking her 22 yo dancer?

  3. Boston_Freek

    woo hoo!

  4. ashely

    that was probably embarrassing for him…let it go already people. geesh.

  5. Ted from LA

    Miley looks different in this picture.

  6. veggi

    Like Miley, I was always sore after my whole-lotta-lovin’ daddy-hugs.

  7. Sam

    He was playing for troops who just got back from Iraq? No wonder their rates of post-traumatic stress disorder are so high.


    when is he going to let her do a real nude photo shoot. I am running out of porn here people.

  9. nipolian

    Sounds to me like Billy Ray needs to lay off the corn squeeze’ns.

  10. Billy Ray

    Dear p0nk,

    Long as he don’t put it in her mouth it’s ok with me. Miley knows her mouth is only for Daddy’s hairy balls.

  11. dude_on_a_wire

    It is a crime that K-Fed beat him out for daddy of the year. Hulkster had them both whipped with his father/daughter ass massage – but clearly politics played a part in the decision to give Mr. Spears the nod.

    Billy Ray was clearly robbed… I hope he writes a song about it.

  12. Kris Kristofferson

    “The turkey with the longest neck’s always going to be the one everyone’s shootin’ at’.”

    Obviously I meant everybody wants to splooge on the chick with the big boobs, meaning your daughter.


  13. mike

    I wonder what meat Miley likes to eat.

  14. havoc

    Did Joe Simpson and Billy Ray Cyrus go to the same pimp school or what?

    Is this turn your daughter out week or did I miss something?


  15. Jenna


  16. Like any other pious Christian 15 year old girl, Miley will look you right in the eye just as you start spurting in her mouth. When a hooker does that I usually ram a toilet brush up her ass and then knock her teeth out, but I don’t mind when the Christian teen sluts do it. It’s sort of like coming in Jesus’s face.

  17. He pimped out his little girl, so he shouldn’t act surprised that she’ll become a whore.

  18. CaptainInsano

    #16: Her boobs are probably only about 4 or 5.

  19. Randal

    It’s good to see you again Billy Ray!

    Forever you will be the one that created history with your awesome album that flew up the charts back in the early 90′s with the biggest hit ever in the country music industry.

    You’ve done a bang-up job raising your daughter and I wish nothing but the best for you and your family of musical genuises!


  20. Auntie Kryst

    Liiilll’ doggies, I’d sure like to visit the Cyrus homestead. I reckon it’s a mighty fine place. Maybe Billy and Ellie May Cyrus can show me their seement pond too??

    @9 Hahaha.

  21. Porno Bass Line

    #17 You’re having healthy thoughts today. Feel free to elaborate. Help us all find enlightenment.

  22. @17 Where do you come up with this stuff troll??

  23. jill

    He souns like Dr. Phil. That is all.

  24. Who the Hell approved an interview with this hillbilly? What a retard!

    As for Hannah Miley Ho’bag wannabe – WHO CARES? She is butt ugly, not any more talented than any other kid except for having a studio pushing her on the mindless adolescent girls in this country who do whatever TV tells them to do.

    Oh, #1 – you are a douche for being happy for such an idiotic thing. Wait, is your name Billy Ray?

  25. Elle

    In the words of the Great Melvin Udall.. “People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch”.

  26. Elle

    In the words of the Great Melvin Udall.. “People who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch”.

  27. TROLL

    Why this stuff comes right out of your ass Jimbo

  28. @28 That is what I thought. It is all shit!! Open your mouth wide you dumb ass troll.

  29. Michael Vick

    Thank you Mr Honky Hillbilly. Next to you and your new girlfriend in the pitcher up there us other dog breeders in the South be lookin goooood.

  30. Anony

    Um, the phrase you are looking for is ‘run the gamut’ which roughly means to run the whole spectrum or sequence. Gambit is both an Xman and a maneuver, also a conversation starter but has never been run by anyone and never will be.

  31. sigmundfuckingfreud

    @16….Jesus calm the fuck down. I sense you are using a defense mechanism called projection and YOU are actually the stupid little whore.

  32. Dear Adolf issues a helpful warning about Jews

    He left his daughter with that kiddie porn peddling Jewess Annie Leibovitz . What did he expect?

    People who truly care about their children never ever entrust their children into the care of Jews.

    Never trust a Jew, especially a prominent msm Jewess like Annie Leibovitz .

  33. Ted from LA

    HillBilly Ray should remember that the love of money is the root of all evil. That and Walmarts.

  34. Jenna

    no sigmundstupidfuck, your mother was a little whore…. not she’s an obese whore who no one wants….. your current and future daughters will all be little whores too…. since the apple don’t fall far from the tree…. know your role, shut your face and do and go rape your retarded sister you have chained up in the basement….. fucking cock-eater

  35. Bizzy

    Ads for Tori and Dean’s whatever on the superficial, fine, but ads for scientology? Not cool.

  36. Tim

    So he likes to have his daughter suck his cock a little bit, big deal. Who exactly gets hurt by that?

  37. the picture of Billy Ray Jim Bob Cyruss in this story is classic. If you EVER see someone who looks this stupid – punch them in the face immediately. Even the dog is turning away going, “You look like a tool!”

  38. sigmundfuckingfreud

    @35. Hahaha I like what you did with my name. It was a stroke of genius…..

    God damn your grammar is worse than a drunken four year old.

    PS. with my sis….been there done that. I will say when I tea bagged your eye socket last night it was rather enjoyable. Now you have my little boys swimming around in your brain.

  39. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    When Miley turns 18, WHAM! I am going to nail her in the back door. Until then, I’ll stick to my vodka. I may be a dirty old man, but I am not a pervert.

  40. kat

    @35….wow. you are just about the stupidest person i have ever seen on this site. no one can even read your iliterate post. did you go to school with Billy Ray and drop out in the 6th grade, too?

    nice comeback as well, 39. in reference to the swimming sperm….i’m not sure she has the required equipment…..nonetheless, very funny!

  41. Jenna

    sorry sigfuck, you must have me confused with your sister, daughter and your mother….. either that or you tea-bagged your therapist by mistake…. and kat, i’m sure you’re both the same person anyways, but let me pretend you’re not for a second, you were able to read my comment so what does that say about being illiterate? but no i didn’t go to school with billy ray, i was unfortunate enough to be in school with your father who i peed on after he was ass fucked by our hillbily teacher Uncle Cracker…..
    Thanks for clarifying Sigfuck’s (yourself I’m sure) reference on the swimming sperm also….. I prolly won’t get the same feeling as you since you’re a pro at being shot in the face with the white gooey stuff….. I thought you were schooled that it’s not tapioca or rice pudding, yet your stupid little ass continues gobbling it like the fat fucktard you are….. No worries though, I hear it does wonder for your digestive system so you’ll be just fine.
    Nice chatting with you dirty brain-fucked bastards, but let me get back to my job of peeing on your parents and children…… Lil Sig and Pat have been dying of thirst since I’m wasting time fucking with their neglectful worthless families on a gossip website…. Tootles bitches

  42. Megan


  43. Sigmundfuckingfreud

    @42. You are a master of making a play on my name. Congrats.

    Wow, I honestly have no come back to that incoherent mess….something about you liking to be shot in the face with rice pudding. I couldn’t understand any of it.

    Most of your psychotic problems probably stem from the fact your parents named their son Jenna. So in fact you are really mad at your parents. That is what we call Displacement.

  44. please advise...

    I never saw the “inappropriate” photo of her with her dad. What did it look like? I’m serious here, people. Can anyone link to it for me?

  45. Jenna

    weird…. i woke up this morning and when i went to the bathroom, i had to sit to pee, not stand over it….. now i’m not as brilliant as you sig-tard, but i would guess that makes me a woman….. yea, just checked it all and it’s woman’s anatomy….. apparently, if you have boobs and a slit in between your legs, that makes you a woman…… oh well
    well thank you for that clarification of where my anger stems from, being displaced and all….. cuz i honestly thought people were just on this site to talk crap about celebrities and give their opinions….. boy was i wrong about that

  46. Lipper

    Who the hell pissed in Jenna’s Cheerios this morning. Damn woman, get yourself some hot sex and call us in the morning. Sheesh!

  47. Lipper

    .. recant that. Give ME some hot sex, screw Jenna. Ok, at least not literally, and I’ll think of you all in the morning. Maybe.

  48. sigmundfuckingfreud

    actually wrong. What makes you a woman is XX genes. Not your anatomy. Plenty of people are born with XY male genes and look like a female.


    okay enough goofing with the handicap…gotta go watch Italy vs France.

  49. Boston_Freek

    #25 waaaah, sounds like someone’s jealous. Boo fucking hoo.

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