From the bowels of his Tennessee mansion where he sits around in the dark – No, really. – Billy Ray Cyrus has decided to throw the entire Hannah Montana franchise under the tractor in a new interview with GQ that’s as depressing as it is random. (Apparently this is all David Lynch’s fault.) Jumped for length.
On before Miley turned 18:
“Every time something happened in Miley’s career, every time the train went off the track, if you will—Vanity Fair, pole-dancing, whatever scandal it was—her people, or as they say in today’s news, her handlers, every time they’d put me… ‘Somebody’s shooting at Miley! Put the old man up there!’ Well, I took it, because I’m her daddy, and that’s what daddies do. ‘Okay, nail me to the cross, I’ll take it. … All those people around, they used me every time. It became so obvious that, man, no matter what happens, they’re going to put you up there and let you take the bullet.”
On not going to her 18th birthday party:
“You know why I didn’t go? Because they were having it in a bar. It was wrong. It was for 21 years old and up. Once again all them people, they all wanted me to fly out so that then when all the bad press came they could say, ‘Daddy endorsed this stuff….’ I started realizing I’m being used. If I would have went out there I would have been right in the middle of all this stuff that’s going on right now with the bong. They’d be hanging it on my ass. I had the common sense… I said, ‘This whole thing’s falling apart up there and they just want to blame all of this stuff on you again.’ I’m staying out of it.”
On where he failed as a parent:
“How many interviews did I give and say, ‘You know what’s important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids’? I said it a lot. And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, ‘You don’t need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.’ Well, I’m the first guy to say to them right now: You were right.”
On how it all started:
“Were it not for David Lynch. Miley would never have been Hannah Montana.”
On teenagers being teenagers:
“I’ve done some stupid crap—I do stupid crap. We all do. But it’s different when you sit back and you see it happening to your little girl. I feel like I got to try. It’s my daughter. And some of these handlers are perhaps more interested in handling Miley’s money than her safety and her career.”
On his family being attacked by Satan:
“I think we are right now. No doubt. There’s no doubt about it.”
On if he regrets Hannah Montana:
“I hate to say it, but yes, I do. Yeah. I’d take it back in a second. For my family to be here and just be everybody okay, safe and sound and happy and normal, would have been fantastic. Heck, yeah. I’d erase it all in a second if I could.”
Jesus. I don’t even know what to say at this point, so I just added a bunch of Miley’s racy photos to the post. Although, admittedly, they’ve become my go-to reaction for heavy emotional situations these days. If one of my parents told me they’re terminally ill, I’d probably just spread these across the table and hope there’s a quiet understanding of my inner pain and turmoil. “See how she’s flashing her panties? *chokes up* That’s my heart…”
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, GQ
I would be more understanding if this were an interview with, say, LiLo’s father. But because Billy Ray actually worked WITH Miley on a daily basis, he had the opportunity to lay down the law from the start. He could have been her manager, set the ground rules, and kept her from all these things that happened that he regrets. He chose instead to be her friend, let her do what she wanted, and just watch the money roll in. If I were the parent of a child who had legitimate talent and wanted to pursue it, I would make damn sure I was in control of the situation. His only hope now is that she just continues acting 18 and soon grows out of it, and doesn’t end up dead in a couple years.
Billy is just pissed because Brett Michaels is now getting mother/daughter poon he used to get.
“Damn chirrens drank all the milk too.”
This is what happens when you decide to clean out your fridge during a GQ shoot.
Hey, fucknuts, if it wasn’t for Hannah Montana you would be the Asst. Manager of a Cracker Barrell, so stfu.
LMAO!
What the Quack?…
Holy product placement! What do we have here…taco bell, heinz, pops,lucky charms, red bull! …And damn thats creepy…but there does look to be a ‘Yo quiero Taco Bell” chihuahua hiding in one of the cabinets next to Billy’s head. Either that or he IS right & satan’s in the house and has some little gremlins hiding in those cabinets….ready to bite off Billy’s yappy mullet. Oh, I vote for door #2!
Look how sad I look sitting by my depressingly drab cabinets. If only I had millions of dollars to soothe my troubled spirits with…
“does my breath smell?”
….and who had to hire and approve those first handlers for your underage daughter, Billy? Hmmmm, legally I think that would have had to have been YOU….
Well he blamed Satan on this, at least he didn’t blame the true culprit and that it was Cthulu sending messages in his dreams to do this.
if only we could banish these tardnecks to the nightmare city of r’lyeh
Billy Ray is sad and no one make an Akcy Breaky Heart joke. What a shame.
We’re all trying so hard to forget that damned song. Dammit man!
*waves hands frantically*
Up there! “Achy Breaky Heart Attack”… ah, fuhgeddaboutit…
OK, I see you are guilty too.
I crave attention and recognition, what can I say?
so… why are there 2 kids cereal boxes on the counter but no bowls in the cupboards?
also when *you* chose to whore your family out for a dollar the people writing the cheques aren’t the ones who destroyed it.
BillehRay, shut the fuck up and eat your Corn Pops!
It sounds to me that maybe Billy Ray is so depressed over the end of his marriage and how much his family has changed that he’s simply trying to figure out what went wrong. He’s trying to make order out of chaos.
I’ve never been married or divorced, but from what I understand it’s common for divorced people to try and figure out how it all went wrong with their marriage and family.
Perhaps he should decline to speak to the media while he’s still going through all of this.
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Jeezuz Turdlicker Christ!
Whatta fuckin’ countyr-ghetto panzy-ass whiney bitch!
He, mullethead! Cry us some crocodile tears and wallow in your self-pity.
I hate fuckin’ dildobrains like this Suthuhn stumper.
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Jeezuz Turdlicker Christ!
Whatta fuckin’ country-ghetto panzy-ass whiney bitch!
He, mullethead! Cry us some crocodile tears and wallow in your self-pity.
I hate fuckin’ dildobrains like this Suthuhn stumper.
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And the white trash picture award goes to…
Mullets-pawN never had a chance with or without HM.
fuck her
skank
haha, oh billeh ray, maybe if you didn’t encourage miley to be such a fame whore and use her as your own private little cash cow… it really must be bliss to be ignorant/inbred.
also, regarding picture 4… ???…. ???… if it’s meant to be sexy, i don’t get it… “hey y’all, ya know ya can does the laundry and have a showers at tha same time??”
we have a special word for people like this in australia: bushpig.
Just don’t take it all back before we get to see her naked and a sex video. Then it will be ok.
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To paraphrase Prince….
….this is what it sounds like when mullets cry.
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LMFAO!!! OK. This comment gets the “I just spit my food outta my mouth, i’m laughing so fucking hard” Award!!!
No, umm, I think it was the mullet and the whore wife and daughter.
talking “Shit” is his way to attract paparazzi today……………
Um, Billy Ray? Miley is FINE. She’s in a great place right now, looking great, having fun, and Not Hurting Anybody! She’s hot/hot/hot, and you sound like you have some issues about her getting older, and letting go. It’s understandable, but I’d work on your own psyche… right now, she seems more well-adjusted than you.
Wow Miley has fans.
talking “SH*T” is his way top attract paparazzi today………
You. Make. Me. Feel like I’m living. A. Teenage. Dream.
It’s disturbing how strikingly similar his story sounds like Lynne Spears’ own retelling of how Britney slipped out of her control…
LMFAO @ the satan thing. Nothing funnier then some redneck southern hillbilly’s who thinks the devil be chasin them with pitch fork in hand ya’ll.
This hair farmers’ parenting skills are obvious, just look at the balanced meal he has laid out.
“I just dropped a deuce!”
FAKE! This is totally ‘Shopped. There can’t possibly be photographic evidence that at least one member of the Cyrus family has ever bathed! If you look closely, you can see Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster reflected in the shower curtain.
You’re an idiot. The picture is right there, and there are other pictures showing evidance that she would do that.
Oh and that high-angle MySpace photography? Way lame and busted. Every time I see it, I think of that chick who took a picture like that of herself wearing a bikini in the bathroom, and there’s a huge Mississippi Mud Shark in the toilet beside her.
i hate hannah montana but i respect miley cyrus for all the shit shes done. People have done alot worse alot younger
i dont think people should be blaming him for mileys mistakes
some people defend her because she is ‘growing up’ or they blame her father for being a ‘bad parent’ its nothing to do with it. its all her she made these choices she should face the consequences. She needs to wise up and take responsibility
He’s talking about how “worried” he is for his skanky little daughter, and he has a taco party box in the background? What’s the underlying message there??? Disney didn’t ruin these rednecks, huge gums, bad genes, and terrible tattoo artists ruined these freaks.
I think it’s apparent now what he was feeling at the time he penned Achy Breaky Heart…
BS!!!! he can not blame anybody else but HIM for allowing her ugly daughters to get into this business he knew it from the beginning that this was coming ie: lindsay lohan, brittney spears etc etc yet he decided to fill his pockets with money and now hes blaming the industry? money can not bring your family back together or save your daughters from catastrophe ! Enjoy……
It would only take someone with a name like “Billy Ray” this long to figure out Disney is a corporation that makes massive amounts of money off exploited young people’s sexuality. They really have to stop issuing marriage licences to cousins down there.
Really!!Were you thinking that when you are driving to the bank to cash the “Hanna” money and if you feel that way obviously you are feeling guilty for something and maybe should take a long hard look in the mirror…!!!!!!
You guys are a bunch of heartless assholes. You don’t realize the the intensity of the choke-hold that these companies have on stars. They’ve signed contracts & don’t really have a say over their image. If they refuse a demand, they get cut. Young stars are also the most susceptible to manipulation because they don’t know who they are yet & are simply trying to do what they think that people expect of them. I want to know: how many of you have signed contracts that you’ve regretted signing? Billy Ray was just trying to make his daughter happy by letting her pursue an acting career with one of the most famous names in entertainment for CHILDREN. He didn’t foresee that her future would be filled with entertainment for perverted adults who only want to see others exploited & humiliated. AMERICA FUCKING SUCKS & I can’t wait to get out of this superficial shit hole where the common person laughs at an entire family being destroyed. You should be ashamed of yourselves honestly. It takes a pretty sick person to laugh at a broken-hearted father’s attempt to express himself. Didn’t your parents ever teach you to respect your elders? These are people’s real lives. If it was you watching your daughter make all of the wrong decisions, you’d be singing a different tune. Fucking assholes.
P.S.– I’m from TN & obviously educated, so you can quit with your whole southern people have an IQ of 40 thing. IQ of 135 here & yet I still have sympathy for others. Imagine that: someone intelligent who isn’t a complete douche-bag. Yeah, we exist. We just didn’t grow up with nothing but concrete outside of our windows & industrial sludge pumping through our veins. I hope that you all reap the judgments that you sow into other people’s lives, but I’m sure that you will anyway since you spend your free time joking about the corporate greed that is absolutely destroying our society.
this is so fake! sooo fake
He should just say fuck it now and put his dick in all 4 of her holes and film it.
one… two… three…?
i’m pretty creative but #4 eludes me ^_^
I’ve always said Hollywood/Disney are evil and run by pedo’s. It’s no coincidence all the child stars trun into bloated drug and booze addicted hacks. They are just trying to forget all the fat old men that have taken advantage of them on their path to stardom. that’s the way it works. When there are parents like the Lohans, Spearses etc who just look at the $$$, the kids are prostituted for lifestyle.
^ he says what Billy Ray is thinking
way to pass the buck billy ray
I hate the new Miley. I love her, but yes. She is to sexy now. She is dum.
Here’s an idea………….let’s all mind our own business and take care of our kids !!
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