Billy Bush Is Probably Fired From ‘Today’

“C’mon, Wolfie, admit it. When Lacey was twelve, you already knew she was gonna grow up to be a ten, right?
“Oh my god, no! Jesus Christ, man, no I would never, ever think that!”
“Ahhh, relax buddy, it’s just me and you in the locker room here.”

If you’re like me, Billy Bush has always seemed to you like a grown-up version of Tommy, Steve’s sniveling lackey from Stranger Things. So it wasn’t a huge surprise to hear him giggling and guffawing while a 59-year-old leather bag of nacho cheese bragged about assaulting women, because money, lulz! So, Bush spent the weekend doing damage control while the entire target audience of Today apparently emailed NBC and went, “Send that fucker packing, or we start doing our Christmas shopping according to GMA’s Holiday Hot List.” Via The Hollywood Reporter:

Bush originally was scheduled to be in his anchor seat for the 9 a.m. hour of the Today show and had planned to address his vulgar comments made during a 2005 hot mic conversation with Donald Trump for a segment on Access Hollywood, which Bush was then hosting.

“The plan is for him to have a chance to apologize,” an NBC source said earlier Sunday. But the situation remained fluid. And apparently the outcry was loud enough — externally and internally — that NBC News decided later in the day not to let Bush appear.

Now, Billy Bush is suspended indefinitely while NBC figures out how many ad partnerships and interviews they’ll lose if they keep Locker Room Rape Bro. And if you think that characterization of Bush is harsh based on that single piece of audio, I think it’s important to point out that what he was doing is the entire reason dudes like Trump exist in the first place. Something happens to you when you’ve gone your whole life with yes men passively endorsing your pathetic and disgusting bullshit just because they want to be close to money and power, and that something is that one day, you actually start to believe you’re qualified to be in charge of an entire country. So fuck Billy Bush and his apology, because the shitpaste is already out of the tube with Trump, and Bush has a long history of brushing with it. Speaking of which, here’s John Oliver doing a way better job than us, as always, at chronicling Bush’s history of fawning all over Donald, which you can watch while I desperately try to keep the next post from veering into another Trump rant.

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Photo: Getty