Billy Bush Confirms Trump ‘Access Hollywood’ Tape Is Real… Because, Duh.

Billy Bush wrote an op-ed for the NY Times yesterday to remind everyone that Donald Trump definitely was the one talking on that Access Hollywood tape. You know… the one where he brags about sexual assault on a bus while Billy Bush laps it up like a lickspittle. When I initially saw the headline I just figured Billy Bush is trying to do something to be relevant again. The guy still can’t get a job after all, so maybe that’s actually accurate.

It’s still pretty dumbfounding that our president is trying to gaslight his fans into thinking that it was a fabricated tape. Legitimizing a conspiracy theory that conspiracy theorists weren’t even trying to push is like clogging a toilet at a party and announcing to everyone that you don’t poop. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past this guy to try and pull something like that. Kim Jong Il used to tell people he never had to use the bathroom and people were forced to believe it, too. So, like… there’s that.

Anyone watching this video with functional eyes and ears (even if only one of the two works) was probably convinced it was Trump in the tape to begin with, and his own admission sufficed as enough evidence to close that case. Still, here we are!

My take is that Billy Bush is trying his darndest to get back into the good graces of the American people to fill the shoes Matt Lauer left next to that big bag of dildoes in his office. He’s got a little gap in his resumé, sure, but I guess he figures that since he didn’t go as far as waving his penis all over his workplace he deserves a second chance. It’s not a bad strategy and compared to all the other guys getting canned for actually being sexual predators, I think it might actually work out for him.

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