Bill Murray arrested for golf cart DUI

August 23rd, 2007 // 156 Comments
bill-murray-arrested.jpg

Bill Murray was stopped by Swedish police yesterday for drunkenly driving his golf cart back to his hotel. Reuters reports:

Murray was brought to Norrmalm police station, in the north of the city, and given a blood test for alcohol after he refused to take a breath test, said station commander Jan-Olov Lundgren. The American had been stopped while driving the golf cart from Cafe Opera, an upscale restaurant in the center of town, back to his hotel.

A golf cart is one of two vehicles you should be allowed to drive drunk. The thing goes three feet a minute. If you hit somebody with one, they pretty much deserved it for having the reflexes of a tuna sandwich. What’s the other vehicle I think you should be allowed to drive drunk? A speeder-bike from Return of the Jedi. I can’t go into the details due to pending litigation, but it basically involves myself, an Ewok and a Mai-tai the size of a dishwasher.

superficial

  1. BaldAsBritney

    p.s. try doing that in any other country, I dare ya.

  2. hollyj

    I wipe with poison ivy, thats why I’m so cheerful all the time…

  3. Boogie

    That’s awesome. Bill Murray is the man.

  4. Summer Kat

    I agree. You should be allowed to drive drunk in golf carts. I wonder what he was doing that he managed to get pulled over. Hah!

  5. Calling you out....

    Will the real EVERYbody please stand up?

    REMY, you’re ebonics are showing.

  6. I think the real Fish was on Summer vacation for a while, because the writing is back to form … and then some.

    Fucking fantastic.

  7. lame

    FRIST

  8. first post

    Hey all-looks more like Brian Doyle Murray

  9. veggo

    Brit is moving to London and practicing her accent……… or so I read……

    10 bucks says she’s practicing how to speak Oregon.

  10. hollyj – We in America are fortunate you are the minority otherwise we would most likely be speaking German now.

    Your hatred clouds your vision.

    Towel heads will never dictate the actions of American citizens especially on this soil.

    Hold your head up and be proud your an American.

  11. Skip Smith

    @110

    Do Swedish people count as towel heads? Because they dictated the actions of an American named Bill Murray who was driving drunk in a golf cart.

    You do know what site “your” on, don’t you?

  12. GT09

    Wow hollyj – you sound really smart. Too bad you’re not smart enough to turn off the bs that CNN is polluting the American airwaves with. If you are that stupid that you believe everything the liberal media feeds you, at least be smart enough to keep your mouth shut when it comes to things you don’t understand. Love It Or Leave It Baby!!!

  13. stenchblossom

    im just glad the guy who wrote this didnt slag him off like he does EVERYBODY else…legend!

    Bill Murray is a genious! absolute genious! and despite his american ignorance to the sweedish (not being from america myself), i STILL think hes a legend!
    also, can i ask whats the deal with the word “fugly”??? its a stupid word that only stupid american bimbos say! just say ugly for fucks sake

  14. Skip Smith

    @112

    >>”at least be smart enough to keep your mouth shut when it comes to things you don’t understand.”

    You mean like the point of this website?

  15. Skip Smith

    @113

    >>”and despite his american ignorance to the sweedish (not being from america myself)”

    Well, good thing we have people like you from other countries who visit this site to enlighten us ignorant Americans about the “Sweedish.”

  16. LadyJane

    Awesome!
    Go Bill!

  17. LadyJane

    hahaha stenchblossom is the definition of fugly.
    Fugly
    FUGLY
    FuGlY
    F.U.G.L.Y.
    FUGLYFUGLYFUGLY

  18. Brilliant Skippy.
    Swedish?
    Thats what he gets for screwing around in those third world countries.
    Hell, he could buy that place 5 times over in strait cash.
    He will pay them off , come home and make great jokes about it.

    Bill Murray will always get the last laugh, everybody knows that.

    What a country….

  19. GT09

    @114 – What’s your problem?? Never seen Stripes?

  20. TS

    #105, could that be REMY the Racist? If so, great eye. That guy was so full of shit, racism, moronics (I mean ebonics). That guy actually claimed he was in his 4th year in college. He neglected to mention that he was is junior college.

    BIG- Nobody hates the people who are first, just the kooks who get off on it, then state the obvious.

    Bonzo- are you honestl….Oh forget it. Anyone who still says 420 and HOLLA can’t be reasoned with. What’s that you say? “Blow Me”? Solid. Again. Maybe you really are 15?

  21. Lindsay

    ROCK ON, BILL!! It’s almost like a scene out of CaddyShack! I don’t know what it is… Whatever he does is great! I swear if he raped a dog it would be funny. OKay.. that’s kinda sick. But you know what I mean?! He can do no wrong!

  22. Wow Steph

    That was quite a fiesty rant from a “Stephanie”. I’d only be more surprised to see such obscenities coming from a “Maggie”.

  23. magpie

    Bill Murray KICKS ASS!!!!!

  24. Carl Spackler

    Like, I think the conversation between the Swede and Mr. Murray musta been:

    Cop: “Vere do you sink you are going? Vy are you drivink a golf cart here in ze street, sir?”

    Mr. Murray: “I have to laugh, because I’ve outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I’ve gotta get inside this guy’s pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who’s the gopher’s ally? His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.”

    Cop: “Vat? Vat nonsense are you talking? You are American, yes?”

    Mr. Murray: “License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will.

    Cop: “You are tryink to run down golfers?”

    Mr. Murray: “Correct me if I’m wrong, ossifer, but if I kill all the golfers, they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key… Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers! The *little* *brown*, *furry* *rodents* -!”

    Cop: “You are tryink to run ofer gophers?”

    Mr. Murray: “I can do that; I don’t even have to have a reason. All right, let’s do the same thing, but with gophers -! Now, remember, to kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower.

    Cop: “Vat half you been drinkink, sir? Do you half any drucks on you?”

    Mr. Murray (pulling out a small dime bag): “This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. ”

    Cop: “Step from ze — errr —- vehicle und place you hans behind your back.”

  25. merererere

    Dear Superfish –

    THANK YOU for getting a good writer back finally. I had given up and havent been on this site in a week, then I return to some extremely witty commentary. SWEET dude! Keep it up BITCHES!

  26. Rush told me and that's all I need to know

    theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia

    (today, only 5 multinational mega-corporations own virtually all news media outlets in the U.S., down from 50 companies twenty years ago)

    theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia

    (Rupert Murdock – Fox News, Fox News, omygodiamgonnacum Fox News ilovethemsomuch – just purchased The Wall Street Journal. “Stocks were down today in heavy trading as investors failed to realize that they live in the best fuckin country in the world. America – Fuck Yeah! USA! USA! USA! In other financial news…”)

    theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia

    (jesus, somebody kick the CD player it’s skipping again)

    theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia theliberalmedia

  27. woodhorse

    Will someone PLEASE get hollyj a box of Tampons? It is apparent that she is going to STAY on the rag.

    Bill Murray Rocks.

  28. woodhorse

    #98 Also fun: drunk bounce house & drunk snow skiing.

  29. woodhorse

    #102 yours was way better than mine. Enjoy your moment in the sun.

  30. Your Mother

    118: When did Sweden become a third world country?

    124: Sweden is not Germany. Or russia. So that accent you gave your imaginary-swede is just riddicilous. Most Swedes can speak perfectly good english.

    Godnatt och tack för mej.

  31. Hey, mom, learn how to spell ridiculous for christ’s sake, then post a commment

  32. Then I’l learn how to spell comment, and I can post a comment too

  33. Wait, then I’ll learn how to spell “I’ll” and then we’ll ALL have it made.
    Fucking typos…..:(

  34. Cheers, everybody, just drank a fifth of vodka….where the FUCK are the keys to my golf cart…

  35. RichPort ( Is Gay )

    75. 110. 112. Shut the fuck up you Dubya-voting, Fox news-watching, lubeless anal-sex-loving, quasi-puritanical, micro-schlonged douches. Seriously, you’re cunts.

    You never served in the military, you are untrained, poorly educated, and probably as big as a house, you fat, lazy, ignorant fucks. If you could even afford a gun, I am certain that you lack the skill to defend yourself, let alone America. Who do you think you are fooling, posers?

    The question was rhetorical.

    Cunts.

  36. Since you can’t say to me now
    How the dog broke your bone,
    There’s just one thing left to be said.
    Say hello to Heaven

  37. Carl Spackler

    #130, my fictitious Swedish friend, I find stereotypes are a real time-saver. You really can’t say Sweden has any value other than that dame Annika Sörenstam…Oh Annika, you’re a little monkey woman. Yeah, you’re lean, mean, and I bet you’re not too far in between are ya. How’d you like to wrap your spikes around my… you fuzzy little foreigner!!

  38. UNCLE NED

    Bill Murray? I thought it was Bob Dole.

  39. UNCLE NED

    #135 – you need a soak, relax, take it all in stride. Why do men cry out for justice? Cause there is no justice. Why do artist’s seek Beauty? Cause there is no beauty.
    Why do SOME men seek wisdom? Why does Bill Murray drink?

    Let’s stop beating down our own country, OK? And let’s reject ideology – what has it ever done but brought misery to countless lives…?

  40. Kingnitro

    Good God does Bill Murray look OLD!

  41. FromArgentina

    17, that’s pretty much stupid. There’s no sense in a law that penalizes DUI on a golf cart. There’s no way someone would get hurt. So it’s stupid in America, in Sweden or here. Your anti-americanism is really out of place and gives reasons to idiots like the so-called GeorgeWashington here that thinks every criticism the USA gets is because other countries are jealous (in the best 15-year-old-thinking tradition). Go listen Chavez in “Hola Presidente ” and fvck off.

    As for the bad Washington impersonator… “Swedish?
    Thats what he gets for screwing around in those third world countries.
    Hell, he could buy that place 5 times over in strait cash.” Real nice.
    Only that Sweden is one of the wealthiest countries in Europe.
    Just under the USA by just $1,400 (8th to your 7th).
    So, I don’t know, read. And if you want to play international politics, try Risk.

  42. sauvage

    This is not Bill Murray.

  43. A mai thai the size of the dishwasher… Sounds good! Can someone hook a sister up?

  44. ali

    bill murray is fucking amazing and he can do whatever the hell he wants. the end.

  45. adi

    he came into my work the next day and he was awesome. Nice and funny, and talking about his upcoming movies. He’s a good guy.

  46. W

    @118 Thats what he gets for screwing around in those third world countries.

    Sweden is a third world country? I hope you are joking, that was the funniest thing i ever heard.

  47. bonzo420

    o and ts …

    once again – BLOW ME!

    LAST! AGAIN

    hahah

    420

  48. thesource

    —————————————————–

    BunnyButt, I need you. I need you badly.

    —————————————————–

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