The Other Models Are Mean To Kendall™, You Guys

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2014
Kendall Jenner genuinely believes her modeling career is solely the result of "hard work," and being like super pretty, but even models whose diets consist of a sprig of kale and heroin know it's because someone who fell out of the same vagina as her got peed on in a sex… More »

A Lady Gaga Post? Okay, Why Not?

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2014
So remember Lady Gaga? Weird nose, kind of a Madonna thing going on? It's not important. Anyway, here she is in Athens yesterday where she did a bunch of stuff with her tits and ass which I'm now posting on the Internet for people to get boner… More »

Avril Lavigne & Chad Kroeger Headed For Divorce

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2014
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger already shat in our ears musically, so what other purpose could their marriage possibly serve after that? It did what Satan intended it to do, and now it's time for her to fuck some other shitty band from my freshman year of college. U… More »

Good Morning, Nikki Lund, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 18, 2014
- George Clooney only has nine days left to say "Psyche!" [Lainey Gossip] - Beyonce will Photoshop the lip syncing in later. [Dlisted] - It's Yoga Pants Season [theCHIVE] - Alanis Morisette is blonde now. [Fishwrapper] - Having trouble going into labor? Batman a purse snatcher. [… More »

A Moment For Candice Swanepoel’s Butt

By: The Superficial / September 17, 2014
I've got another post coming up where some asshole not only defends Adrian Peterson, but openly considers using a switch on his child. So before we all feel really dark inside from churning up repressed childhood memories, here's Candice Swanepoel's butt whose dimples have never beaten a child. Trust… More »

Beyonce Has The Photoshop

By: The Superficial / September 17, 2014
Joan Rivers's death might have exposed the fatal danger of selfies in the medical field, and large swaths of America still thinks it's acceptable to beat children with wooden objects, but let's take a moment for the very serious issue of whether or not Beyonce is Photoshopping herself again. More »

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 17, 2014
- Here's Beyonce drinking champagne, everyone who bought the pregnancy rumors. [Lainey Gossip] - Ariana Grande hopes all her fans "fucking die." [Dlisted] - Booty Shorts Have My Attention [theCHIVE] - Adrienne Baillon is still shitting on the Kardashians. [Fishwrapper] - Yes, let's ask Miss America pageant… More »

Good Morning, Claudia Romani, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 16, 2014
- Holy shit, Angelina Jolie's new boobs are in a tanktop. [Lainey Gossip] - John Travolta's pube beard will talk about those gay allegations now. [Dlisted] - In case Claudia Romani isn't enough bikini butt for you, enjoy. [theCHIVE] - Kylie Jenner is a Kardashian Dirty Bomb waiting to… More »

And Now Back To Sexy Celebrities In Bikinis, Or Just Demi Lovato

By: The Superficial / September 15, 2014
Now that I wrote a short novel about corporal punishment, here's Demi Lovato lounging poolside in a bikini which is about as non-controversial as it gets until you find yourself wondering where Wilmer Valderrama is and start Googling local high schools to see if they had Homecoming… More »

Good Morning, Michelle Lewin, And Other News

By: The Superficial / September 12, 2014
- Anna Wintour's 73 questions is a class study in non-fuck giving. [Lainey Gossip] - Tori Spelling is going to pretend her marriage is in shambles for a second season. [Dlisted] - Bouncing Breasts GIFS? Get in there. [theCHIVE] - Mike Tyson responds well to being asked about that… More »

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