Beyonce’s head is, uh, falling apart

December 7th, 2006 // 117 Comments
beyonce-wig-pull.jpg

I don’t know where or when this was taken, but that’s not how a human head should look. Ever. I’m assuming the wrinkling skin has to do with Beyonce’s wig or something, but it looks like she just had a lobotomy and the stitches are giving way. While posting this I’ve subconciously felt my own forehead like six times just to make sure I haven’t contracted a rare form of head-burrowing tape worm. I’ve also masturbated twice. Multi-tasking, baby.

Thanks to Alex for the tip, and for showing me just how normal my head really is.

superficial

  1. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    I once got a Lace Front Wig from Italian Stallion in the back of his Camaro. We were so high….

  2. buzz_clik

    Obviously it’s the alien slug that controls her brain squirming just under the surface of her skin. Whether or not it’s trying to just get a more comfortable position or it’s actually losing control of its host body (you know there’s recent evidence to the latter) is something I couldn’t tell you. What do I look like, an expert or something? Go call one of them NASA cover-up people what have been talkin’ to them moon men for years without telling us. Fuckers.

  3. #42. It’s Klingon. http://www.kisa.ca/klingon-phrases.html

    I wrote: Fondle my forehead! Stop gnawing at my arm!

    Click my name for the original pics at dpreview.

  4. danielle

    Nope. Nope. I believe its her ego that’s busting out of the side of her chemically relaxed head. Yup.

  5. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    #53 – No thanks!

  6. BoognishRising

    KAHN!!!!!!!!!

  7. wedgeone

    #42 – ROTFLMFAO!
    #50 – I remember “V”. Remember when that chick gave birth to the half-human, half-alien twins, and when the second one came out, everyone freaked? I was really young then, so that scared the crap out of me!
    And then the weekly series just belched a huge turd. Yes . . . the turd was released via a belch.

  8. gossipgirl010

    i don’t know what it is but i think she’s a lot older than she says she is. supposed website lists her as 32 rather than 25. i don’t know..she seems to not have aged since age 18 when destiny’s child had begun it’s heyday. i wish i had the formula to that. but then again, judging by this pic, it seems to cause testicular skin to pop up in random places.

    http://www.celebridirt.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/beyonce-fake-age.jpg

  9. She’s a real-life version of that hot chick in Keenan Ivory Wayan’s “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka”, the one who when he gets her home she pops off a wig to reveal a bald head, pops out a pair of falsies, disconnects a fake leg and drops a false ass. Jay-Z must pray no sex tape ever surfaces. People would mistake it for him wrestling with the Elephant Man naked.

  10. Binky

    # 50 The best Alien movie ever is “They Live” with Rowdy Ronny Piper (a good Canadian whose fighting cancer currently.)
    Put on your sunglasses people…

  11. Binky

    Well, ok, maybe the best alien movie with Roddy (Ronny) Piper in it directed by John Carpenter.

  12. superficially

    uh, when fake bitches fall apart…

  13. Mo

    Maybe it’s the earwigs trying to escape. Even they couldn’t take it anymore.

  14. BarbadoSlim

    @61 you a Carpenter fan Binky?

  15. bunny

    clearly she botoxes and they missed a spot…i think dr. ray may have been responsible

  16. @ #7. WOW. TheBlemish.com is a total knockoff of TheSuperficial. That should be illegal. The format, the logo, the style of writing, even the jokes are similar to the respective posts! WOW!!

  17. buzz_clik

    #65 – Who ISN’T a Carpenter fan? I’m pretty sure I know the audio commentary for The Thing by rote by now.

    I mean… uh, audio commentary? Pffft. I’m too busy getting drunk with Lucy Liu to listen to that nerdy shit. Y-yeah, that’s it… *nervous laugh*

  18. Binky

    #65 Oops – I had to have dinner. I like ‘They Live’ Barbo. I don’t know his whole shebang.

  19. BarbadoSlim

    @68 If you’ve driven the Pork Chop Express then you know what to say when you’re going down that road, on a dark a stormy night and they ask you if you’ve paid your dues.

    Have you paid your dues?

    :)

  20. BarbadoSlim

    oops sorry, anyway, Carpenter is one of the few good left. I even like d Ghosts of Mars.

  21. aulray

    it’s definately the effects of botox. the area around her face is literally making no wrinkles, except the area that isn’t affected by the botox.

    you can’t sing to that extent and not have one single wrinkle on your face.

  22. buzz_clik

    #70 – Well, I don’t know what I’d say personally, but I’m sure Jack Burton would tell me to say “the cheque is in the mail”… er, or some such thing.

    Funny thing is, I watched that film not two nights ago… not funny ha ha, obviously.

  23. Binky

    #71 Didn’t see it – will check it out.
    Cheers

  24. Ellie

    Looks like she didn’t quite get all of jay-z’s money shot wiped off…

  25. jFp

    I’ve seen this before.

    On South Park.

    It’s a dead fetus.

  26. somechick

    She is really an Alien and that is why she always has this wierd look on her face.

  27. superficially

    it’s probably one of those masks with hair attached…she just slips on the ensemble to save time ….this one was probably too big for her, thats why we’re seeing the air bubbles

  28. favrav

    that picture is from the TODAY show earlier this week. i guess it will take someone’s face falling off for people to realize that too much surgery is just too much.

  29. ImaCracka

    http://www.lacefrontwigstore.com/

    In case you want to order your own lace front wig….

    What that is I still dont know….

    Is there a crack ho or a Tyra here that can explain that?

    I asked my maid and she just said … ” eat ya soup ya cracka mutha fucka…..”

    Shit … no kwanza for her…

  30. Oh my God! It is just like in the movie “Death Becomes Her” when Goldie Hawn and Meryl Streep have to spray paint themselves to look good and Bruce Willis has to give them touch ups. Classic!

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

  31. pumpkinpye

    Ribbed for HER pleasure!

  32. randomcandy

    Oh my god. Just, oh my god. Doesn’t she have People to tell her when her face is starting to drip off? She should hire some.

  33. All the ladies wearin’ a hairpiece:
    Throw yo’ hands up at me.

  34. CH300

    Damn, I shouldn’t be learning about important shit ‘lace front’ wigs on a blog. Man, I want one. There’s even a video about it on Youtube.com from this link.
    http://www.wigbar.com/

  35. That fucking scares me.

  36. Carmie_Girl

    That’s so freaking gross. You would think she would notice something this grotesque on her face.

  37. beifiori

    boy someone put too much glue on her face, didn’t they! hahah! it does look weird! whew! the things they go through to make themselves appear to be above average.

  38. Missallanpoe

    I really didn’t want to post today at all..but seeing this made me kind of squeal like a 5 year old..I touched my forehead constantly to see if it was ok..

    Also..”I’ve also masturbated twice.” …that was uncalled for. I want to see evidence now.

  39. AmandaT5

    #35, i’d much rather watch and listen to this woman, than watch & listen to this thing up on stage!-
    http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/5356/skjdkj7.png

  40. AmberDextrose

    Ew, this has been more educational than Lindsay Lohan’s masterpiece essay.

    Do they make this lace in different colours? Or does it only come in ‘Michael Jackson’ (nobody knows if it’s white, brown or black)?

    #2 lobotomies used to be performed by peeling down the forhead skin and drilling and slashing. Then they were done through the eye socket.

    But as Tom Waits sang: “I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy…”

  41. MyGosh!

    This is unfair, she gets paid zillions by L’oreal because of her hair, and she actually wears wigs which fall apart??! This is inadequite, as Lindsay would put it.

    Hey you guys from L’Oreal, I can be your next model. I’m bald, but I can also wear a nice wig, and I could use some extra cash…

    But I’m wondering, what does her REAL hair look like. Is she bald? Is she a man?

  42. Iseewhatyoudidthere

    Sucks not being able to sport good hair.

  43. reyma

    Multi-tasking, baby?

    gay..

  44. That looks real nasty.Good thing we only have dirty dog sex,the back of her head pretty much stays the same.Unless my aims off.

    http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com

  45. ResidentX

    This is hilarious. First, I want to thank all of you for your Viciously funny comments.
    I hit this site regularly and read dull comments but not today. I’m laughing so hard.

    We must be getting to the end of the world. Women no longer have any more secrets and we can see them for what they really are…desperate people trying to be something their not. Reminds me of some guys I know.

    In closing, Beyonce can teach us a lot. It goes something like this, ” At first, we started off cool…but I need you to keep paying my telephone bills…keep paying my automobile bills…so maybe we can…just chill…”

  46. RichPort

    Fuck that wig shit… I’d still like to put some cream in her latte, even if she was fucking bald.

  47. ImmaAssClown

    I agree that the mark looks like a Frankenstein scar… but c’mon people- it’s just a wig. And you’re all really surprised she wears wigs? LOTS of people- especially performers wear them. Hell, I’m a nobody and I have lots of hair pieces for days I just don’t feel like dealing with fixing all my own hair (wigs and pieces never get “messed up) and times when the hair has to stay perfect and not fall or get all funked out after a few hours.
    This is no big secret… haven’t you men noticed all the Hair Stores that exist? Guess what? They sell wigs and hair pieces at the HAIR STORE!
    Now lemme go adjust my weave, niggas….

  48. justme

    The only black women who are considered to be good looking are light skinned, more caucasian featured, and wear caucasian looking wigs.

  49. PrettyBaby

    hahahah justme, You are always the life of any (kkk) party!

    I would like to use Barbado Slim as my sextoy. Having said that I must tell you that she is still damn hot people. Her body is phenomenal. But her hair is about 2 inches long and she does wear wigs/extensions. Big Fucking deal!

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